Entertainment For Lively Minds
Favourite journalists? Who would be in your fantasy league publication?
FOR a long time I have pondered the death of the print only publication as we are apparently amid the 'vinegar strokes' of getting writing from one roster of writers.
Alas a google reader service is not enough, I want it in a leaf through package - either physical or online.
What I mean is a product a bit like the service The Week provides now. I kind of crave for the time when I can get an aggregation of all the writers I like on a given day - weekly or monthly - whereupon I can indulge myself.
I read several newspapers daily most weeks and a few monthly magazines and have a wish list of people I would gladly pay to follow if there was, say, a nice iPad app which packaged them up in a format which I found agreeable aesthetically. I'd buy an iPad solely for that express service.
My list is:
Laura Barton
(Sycophancy alert) Hepworth, Du Noyer, Fitzpatrick
Jim White
Paul Kimmage/ David Walsh
Charlie Brooker
Sandy Toksvig
Mark Steel
Andy Gill
Caitlin Moran
Matthew Norman
Dave Simpson
Gavin Martin
William/ Alistair Fotheringham (cycling & rugby)
Eddie Butler (literally the king of sports writers)
Joe Queenan
Mark Lawson
Mark Steel
Tom Humphries (Irish Times GAA writer, see Eddie Butler)
Brian Reade
(Irish politics writers) Eamonn Mallie, Mark Devenport, Mick Fealty, Jason Walsh, Malachi O'Doherty, Eamonn McCann, Splintered Sunrise & Anthony McIntyre.
These are the people I always read.
NB:If Drakeygirl, Backwards7, Pat Carty, Archie V, Crowther, Amitri, Law, Stimps et al (sorry if I missed someone out) wanted to put their heads above the parapet and write a column on a semi regular basis, I'd also pay for an aggregation of that.
Who would form your Fantasy Writers League?
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No big disagreements
But I'd add Hugh McIlvanney (who knocks Eddie Butler into a hat)
Mick Cleary
Paul Foot
Gillian Reynolds from the Telegraph on radio
Rick Bragg
Just me, really
I could definitely use more work.
Kimmage and Walsh
must be watching the latest Landis/Armstrong developments with great interest. Vindication is surely just around the corner.
Michael Bywater
would be a good addition-e.g. his old weekly series from the Independent which ideally would have had an edited book done from it.
I wonder how long before exactly such a product will be tried-and how on earth the business model could work. The "age of free" has had all sorts of knock-on effects as discussed here frequently of course, esp by DH, I thought this one was an interesting example:
http://news.library.cornell.edu/news/arxiv
I'd be up for doing a column...
but only if I could write it in bad Italian.
Patrick Collins
in the MoS. Bit of a stickler for tradition, no time for the Greed is Good Premiership but full of great opinion. His writing about old cricketers and great rubgy has often brought a t to the old e, as Danny Baker might say. Actually, I'll stick DB on the list when he was writing for the NME - and still my absolute favourite broadcaster.
People I always read
Marina Hyde
George Monbiot
David Mitchell
Victoria Coren
Jude Rogers
Charlie Brooker
Nancy Banks-Smith
David Hepworth
Lynn Barber
Myself
I never get to write anymore.
Some regulars off the top of my head
Matthew Parris
Rod Liddle (honest)
Robert Crampton
Charles Moore
Jeremy Clarke
Hunter Davies
David Smith
most of the writers from Word/Uncut/Mojo
plus
Lucy Mangan
Nick Kent
John Harris
The New Yorker bunch
almost all of them, but especially:
Anthony Lane
Adam Gopnik
James Surowiecki
and, over here,
Nick Cohen
AA Gill
Hmmmm
Harry Pearson
Simon Calder
Martin Johnson (the sportswriter not the rugby player)
John Walsh
Nigel Slater
Marcus Berkmann
Jonathan Meades
Tim de Lisle
Victor Lewis-Smith
Jon Savage
Stuart Maconie
Ed "ET" Smith
Victoria Coren
I'd love to be at the editorial meetings too!
Strange
Strange, no mention of Gary Bushell or Richard Littlejohn,
Simon heffer or Boris Johnson.
Cant think why.
Actually
you've reminded me of two "writers of the Right", one rather right of the other, who I always find interesting.
John Lloyd of the FT
and Niall Ferguson.
Lloyd is now largely there as a TV reviewer, but when he edited their weekend mag it was something I regarded as unmissable (it's still almost as good). Actually he is more of a conservative with a small c than a large one.
A P J O'Rourke archive would also be a fine thing on the 'Pad.
PJ O'Rourke
Just been dipping in and out of his most recent book - the one on motoring and I was struck how one dimensional he has become.
It may be the fact it is updating work which has gone back decades in some case, but he is now, I think, beginning to wear even the retreads very thin.
At one time he was the best there was though, wasn't he?
The FPO and I
haved read quite a bit of the older stuff but I haven't read anything lately as far as I know--this is why the "Library of Babel" interface on the iPad as proposed above sounds rather appealing, a sort of Spotify for books. The interview he gave after 9/11 to Clive James in his Talking in the Library series was well worth catching imo, see
http://www.clivejames.com/video/library/2
However I guess it was bound to be downhill from Republican Party Reptile in a way; even Hunter Thompson might have been pleased with this logic:
You might not like his politics .......
But Boris is a pretty decent writer who consistently turns out thoughtful, engaging columns for the Telegraph.
Heffer by contrast imho is an insufferable, predictable obsessive bore.
As for the other two ........a right pair of populist gobshites
I read Richard Littlejohn
Brilliant columnist. Ditto Rod Liddle. And, in a different way, Matthew Parris. And Martin Samuel.
Also of the "right"
Fraser Nelson from The Spectator. Extremely good on the machinations of politics and generally worth reading.
It depends where you read them
Liddle is dependable enough in the Times but his Spectator blogs are frequently reprehensible.
Matthew Parris is an excellent writer for a seemingly understated soul. Samuel has been brilliant wherever he has worked, which is not always the case for sports writers.
I lost faith in anything Niall Ferguson had to say after he suggested some 'controversial' nonsense about The Clash, presumably in a vain hope at being hep. Hip that is, not the writer of the above reply.
Dependable
hahaha now THERE's a double-edged complement if ever there was one.
Lidl
Is dependable in being a wind-up merchant, which seems to be the only qualification for the modern front line columnist of the populist right. His subjects are interesting, his writing isn't.
"wind-up merchant" aka the "ironic racism defence"
He's not a wind-up merchant, he geniunely is a bigot. He's shown his arse too many times - including in unguarded moments on his precious Millwall blog - for things like this grotesque rant to simply be "wind-ups": http://www.spectator.co.uk/rodliddle/5601833/benefits-of-a-multicultural...
I occasionally...
...offer my service to a mental health charity "drop in" service who are frequently visited by a small, pink and pathologically irksome agricultural worker who is obsessed with a) his own bowel movements; and b) interesting ways to murder social workers.
We often find that the calmer and more restrained we are, the more outlandish his threats of violence and poo-talk (or scat-scat, if you will) become.
We call him Rod Liddle.
Littlejohn
I must admit to having read a lot of his columns, & yes, I think they are generally well written. However, I feel that he just rants a lot of the time, & he can be a bit of a bully.
Rod Liddle I enjoy very much, I think Martin Samuel is excellent (wasted at the express), & Matthew Parris isnt my cup of tea, but is always well reasoned IMHO.
Cannot abide Simon Heffer though.
Reactionary,arrogant, Billy Bunter lookalike.
Martin Samuel isn't wasted at the Express
He's at the Mail, which is probably the place where he can reach the biggest readership, write at the greatest length and get paid the most money.
Martin Samuel
sorry, my apologies.
Richard Littlejohn?
I know you like a bit of controversy and going against the grain, David, but are you serious? Small-time saloon-bar prejudices dressed as journalism. And usually based on what could charitably be called "a misunderstanding of the facts" but could more realistically be called either "too lazy to check it out" or "wilfully distributing misinformation to support prejudice".
Catch phrase "You couldn't make it up." Perhaps we couldn't. But he certainly can.
Anyone for Julie Burchill and rugby league writers?
Her breathtaking U-turns on what appeared to be deeply held convictions are all part of the charm. She is a superb writer, even if you don't agree with her or entirely trust her.
Sadly she doesn't write about rugby league, but Andy Wilson is always worth a read in The Guardian and League Weekly. The latter is also the home of Danny Lockwood, who once wrote an article about a hairy arse contest in Dewsbury, and Dave 'Nosey' Parker, king of rugby league transfer speculation.
Agree with Paddy about Eddie Butler and Mark Steel. Mark reminds me of king ranter Steven Wells.
Does anyone remember William Leith's Independent articles about very minor incidents in his life? I enjoyed reading Lynn Barber's interviews when she worked there.
These days I like Lucy Mangan, Marina Hyde, Jude Rogers, Dave Simpson and Peter Bradshaw.
Sorry
Backwards7 is busy writing the book I want to read so badly. When he's finished that you can have him as a journo.
Couldn't he...
sell it to us in installments like a modern day Dickens?
Julie Burchill has gone off
Most of what she writes in her new Independent column are the rantings of a lunatic. All she talks about is how she was once a lesbian and her supposed 'ill-health'. Then she lays into/gives her full support to a celebrity for a bit. The end.
Her opinions are increasingly predictable and she's got nothing fresh to say. I don't know how she's managed to sustain a career for so long. She's not controversial, she's just dumb.
Agree with ya there mate
She is generally intolerable these days. Before, her bonkers tendencies were offset by her brilliance as a phrasemaker. I remember with great pleasure her comprehensive thrashing of Steven Berkoff, conducted via the letters pages of Time Out; and a rather sweet episode where a teenaged girl wrote to various celebs for advice about her non-existent love life. Julie Burchill's reply was generous and warm, and she also sent the girl a book from her collection.
Nowadays: as you say, it's "I was a lesbian for a while you know"; "I live in Brighton, you know"; "I'm a big, big fan of Israel, you know"; "I'm not a well woman, you know"; and her latest, "green politics is all about upper classes telling us working class people what to do, and we're not having any of it."
No mention of George Orwell yet?
His essays are a penguin classic now. They are genuinely brilliant.
Nick Cohen is always readable.
for me
David Mitchell
Victoria Coren
Charlie Brooker
Nancy Banks-Smith
Victor Lewis-Smith (the few short weeks he was the restaurant critic for the Grauniad were the best thing in the whole paper)
Andrew Collings (aside: not really...)
Martin Johnson (for Cricket, he's really unparalleled)
Harry Pearson and Martin Kelner - always worth a chuckle or two
And Brian Reade's football columns on the odd occasions where I see the Daily Mirror, where he normally has something interesting to say.
Mine
Steve Richards
Andrew Rawnsley
Nick Cohen
David Aaronovitch
Matthew Parris
Victoria Coren
Charles Shaar Murray
The Word lot
Present company, and other colleagues, excepted...
the monstrously under-rated Tracey Macleod
John Patterson
Marina Hyde
Bill Drummond (his writing in the Idler and the journalistic stuff in his books is premier league writing)
Armando Iannucci
Nancy Banks-Smith
David Toop
Jon Ronson
Mr Muggs
In the spirit of the LA Times which once had two jazz correspondents (presumably a hard bop specialist for the West Coast), would you man the House desk (Trance/ Deep/ Progressive) of the music department?
I will, as Andy Weatherall used to say,
put on my trance trousers!
There is one writer whose shoe...
...we are not fit to polish and that is Nancy Banks-Smith.
Yes indeed, David
Reading Nancy Banks-Smith writing about TV is better than actually watching TV.
There was a great deal of simultaneous shouting
Can't believe I missed Nancy Banks-Smith earlier on.
I have been enjoying her writing all my life. At least all my life reading newspapers which is 25 years or so now.
In one of many recent examples, she proves great, light touch writing is the preserve of the older person.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/feb/20/eastenders-live-revie...
See also Michele Hanson
not AS great, but great nonetheless.
Are you mad?
Michelle Hanson isn't real! She's Chris Morris satirising awful columists. All that stuff about her mother and her hopeless, depressing friends (Fielding in particular needs a kick in the balls). Christ, but shes been pretending to be a geriatric for as long as I've been reading the paper. She must have started this "I'm ancient,me" schtick in her 50's.
Hands down the worst published columnist in the UK.
What?
Even including Melanie Phillips?
'Course
his actual satirical columns as Geefe *were* brilliant:
http://www.compsoc.man.ac.uk/~cow/studio/geefe.html
I kind of wish he'd pop up again somewhere---now he's dunfilmin'
As a cricket nut
Mike Atherton is the one for me.
Richard Williams
He gets to attend all the top sporting events worldwide, with a sprinkling of jazz and rock gigs on the side.
I am green with envy.
And he can really write too.
Williams
I think he is brilliant at cycling and music but his football writing has become a parody of modern broadsheet football writing: overly analytical and high brow and not really saying anything much.
Why does the Guardian need him, Hayward & McCarra all doing the same job - especially when David Lacey still does it adequately from time-to-time?
I wonder
why any of them need a "Chief Sports Writer"? Aren't the specialists enough?
The worst is James Lawton in The Independent. He's been around forever and doesn't he let you know it. Nothing's as good as it was. And he has a weird fixation with David Beckham.
I'm often - if not nearly always - compelled
to conclude (in the most wordificatious and unpunctuatedly verbosome way that could ever be considered probably or most likely - if at all - probable) that the singular most far-from-readable and (dare I even consider it) unnecessarily portentous sports article composer, writer, hacksmith, and journaliser that I regularly partake of at the weekend (or, indeed at any other time of the week should I have elected to read my Sunday paper at a slightly later date than I may have initially intended, planned or devised) is Hugh McIlvanney.
Though
apparently they say he writes like H. P. Lovecraft ...
Don't we all, Nick,
don't we all...
Not having read HM
I was tempted to look him up, and was rewarded thus:
---http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/columnists/hugh_mcilvanney/article1596647.ece
But then, I'm in no position to talk, really ...
Williams..
is , I think, the most balanced jazz writer of his generation (and has been since his MM days) and his football views, for me anyway, are always worth reading. Analytical? Yes please. Not saying much? Have to disagree with you there Paddy. Actually, he can do no wrong for me ever since describing Mingus as "such turbulent beauty" about 30 years ago. Hell, the football's a bonus.
Like Charles Shaar Murray too.
By the way..
do agree with you on Tom Humphries.
No love yet for Quantick
Here be plenty.
Line up
Marina Hyde
Conor Foley
Neal Ascherson
Craig Brown (in whatever guise)
Jon Savage
David Toop
David Stubbs
David Quantick (agreed fedoraboy!)
Will Self (The Observer declined after he was sacked)
Jonathan Romney on film
Alex Sierz on theatre (is writing for Orwell's now unread 'Tribune')
Zoe Heller
A lot of The Word gang
and Peter Hitchens is politically suspect but amusing
Your desert island periodical
would be a very dry read without either David Sedaris or the Alexei Sayle that made The Independent such a buyable rag in the early nineties.
Too many sub-editors
or former sub-editors on here, I suspect, to allow the inclusion of The Execrable Giles Coren. Despite his unalloyed pompous twattery he does sometimes have a telling turn of phrase - although but a pale shadow of his dad.
The Often Equally Execrable AA Gill shares food review duties with Coren, but is, I think, a far superior scribe - especially when not writing about food.
He penned an insightful and quite moving piece about the plight of the Icelandic community, post-banking crisis, which made me think there is maybe more there than just a sardonic wit and a sharp way with words.
My list
Jane Suck
Neal Ascherson
Ben Goldacre
Charles Shaar Murray
Fordyce Maxwell
No Swells?
I'm amazed/shocked/stunned/gobsmacked* that the late great NME-er Steven Wells hasn't had a mention yet! It can't be just me who's heart lifted whenever I saw his name next to the singles reviews...
*delete as appropriate
Lord Thomas of Hibbert
If this is a fantasy publication then I'd love him to start typing again.
and Danny Baker
of course
A lot of the soon to be unemployed on this list
FAO Guardian Readers
Where are all of the Guardian writers mentioned above going to find any sort of paid home?
i.e when the rest of us stop subsidising your morning read?
Ryszard Kapuściński
He was pretty good. Are there any other fans of Mr Kapuściński among the Massive? I rather liked "The Emperor: Downfall of an Autocrat".
Who else? Well in my youth I read Dave "Div Mac" McCullough in Sounds. Wonder what happened to him?
Hugh McIlvanney, of course. Majestic.
I rather like Lucy Kellaway in the Financial Times.
I know Charles Shaar Murray has been mentioned before, but add my name to the list of CSM fans.
I always enjoyed John Peel's columns in Sounds, too. I liked his writing style as much as his broadcasting style.
And last but not least, the late, much-missed Richard D. Cook, writing about the music he so loved: jazz.