Entertainment For Lively Minds
Fantasy job
Posted by Lunaman on 7 May 2011 - 8:45pm.
I was thinking about what else I could have done as my day job. By coincidence I noticed Hannah's thread and thought what would we like to do?
As you get older sometimes you realize that you have fallen into a job but in hindsight maybe you would have chosen something else.
So here are two choices if all jobs paid the same and you could choose no matter what your qualifications are -
1. Your preferred career......
2. One you'd like to try
Me -
1. Run a campsite with a great music bar.
2. Architect
You?
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Me?
Complete fantasy - move to Montana and run a dude ranch
Give it a shot - politician
Me?
1. Carpenter
2. Monk
HOORAY! YOU'RE BACK!
I've missed you.
We've all missed you.
Good holiday?
(sorry for the thread-jack, Lunaman xx)
Graphic Designer
did that for 30 years. The last 15 years of it I wanted to crawl off and die, kill someone or retire.
I've retired now.
Don't think it'll fuck me up or bore me as much as my last career choice did.
Proper answer now
Fantasy job: renowned pianist. Or tea-shop proprietress & cake goddess in Vancouver (as long as the niceness of all the customers can be guaranteed).
Give it a shot: Radio 4 comedy producer (I was sort of in the same ballpark but never quite got there)
Proper jobs
1. Executive responsible for the scheduling and commissioning of Saturday evening TV programmes
2. proprietor of record-book-coffee shop that has very limited opening hours.
You'd be right at home
at Mojo's in Scarborough (if it's still open), my favourite record/coffee shop when I'm up there.
Unless you're Harry Hill, in which case (1. Executive responsible for the scheduling and commissioning of Saturday evening TV programmes), shake it up, baby!
Anyone want to buy a bungalow in central Scotland?
1) Composer
2) Maker of glass objets d'art - which I will do as soon as I've sold said house and given up the day job.
My turn
1. Lounge pianist (I suffer pianist envy)
2. Standup comic (no seriously, d'ja'ever notice?)
I'd say yes.
1) National Treasure (I know, but I just want to be as cool as Peter Cook, Humphrey Littleton or Alan Bennett)
2) Novelist (Could lead to 1. I only lack talent and application.)
You want to be
Stephen Fry?
He's no Bennett
... Lyttleton or Cook.
Although I have read a lot of Wodehouse.
Hmmmmmmmm....
Total fantasy:
Win the lottery, set up a charitable business whereby I find a handful of great bands/artists/whatever and let them record for free, then help with getting them on their feet so they can self-distribute and not get fleeced by industry types. (This model is probably very dated now, but it's been my little fantasy for years and I won't give it up without a fight)
Subsidise this through a) having won lottery, b) renting out recording time and c) having a load of rehearsal rooms which are so nice every band in London wants to use them.
Oh, and there'll be a café. A really, really good one.
Give It A Go
Carpenter/cabinet maker/luthier.
The other fantasy job...
Novelist. *whispers, embarrassed face* I've been writing something for a few months now. It's about 50,000 words in. I'm not sure how well it's going - probably badly - and I don't really know if my very vague plot ideas are even feasible, but I'm chugging on. All the best writers say "just get on with it", so I'm trying to just get on with it. My previous attempts have been 1000 words long, then aborted, so trying to avoid that.
God, how mortifying to have actually admitted that...
Oh, well done.
The hard part's over. The first 10k are the worst. Thirty to fifty feel like pulling teeth. After that it's plain sailing.
That's really good to know.
Did a word count this morning. 46,851. I had a real block around the 32,0000 mark and it's been like wading through treacle since. I'm hoping for a breakthrough, and that's given me hope, has that.
You sound like you know what you're talking about, AE. Have we heard of you? ;-)
Ugh. Thirty thousand.
It's the dread number. But now you're almost on fifty, which could be halfway! The absolute key thing is to get to the end. Don't worry about getting it right first time, you won't, that's what revision is for, and you need to be able to love the idea of rewriting it. Good luck! (Oh, and no, I don't *think* you've heard of me!)
Do not feel bad.
I have been sketching out ideas for a series of books over the past year.
*also pains me to admit*
However actually writing the bugger? Hell no. I have an artistic conundrum I haven't worked out yet (ie any actual good ideas)
Me too
...but so far, all I've done is write my Man Booker Acceptance speech and fretted about what to wear to the Oscars when I get nominated for Best Original Screenplay.
Nothing original here
Which is the entire problem with me.
Fantasy Job:
I'd like to be a prolific comic novelist. The PG Wodehouse of my generation. Who wouldn't? Thwarted by only 2 things. I have no useful ideas about plots or characters. And the fact that my regular posts here are very samey. Jolly, yes. But ultimately derivative and not in the least original.
Give it a try:
Airline pilot. This from a man who frets about getting behind the wheel of a Nissan Note. But my God I'd love to fly a 747.
You are Bruce Dickinson
Your Lord Iffy Boatrace book was shit.
And I claim my £5.
Oh Fuck
So I am.
*realises not only have I wasted my real life I've wasted my fantasy ambition also. Runs to the hills, at two minutes to midnight, a bit miffed*
I think you're a Cock!
of the highest order.
Yet also a great front man and shoutist.
ver'Middin wouldn't be the damn fine band they are today without you.
now, go fly a plane or epee someone
Er...?
Not you Beezer old chap
that Dickless-son fella!
It's OK, Mr Blast
I knew that was what you meant.
You're too nice a chap to insult for real.
Hm.
1) Cheryl Cole's underwear designer.
2) See 1)
Seriously?
1) Ski guide.
2) Roadsweeper. All jobs pay the same here. I'd be outside, meeting people, doing the locality a service.
Joe, our local man, is a great chap. Works early hours, knows everyone, everyone knows him, highly eccentric, keeps a collection of dropped dummies on his cart. He'll be retiring soon. I often wonder about the money in his kitty and if he'll buy a sailboat..
Roadsweeper zen
I know a musician who pushes broom round his home town between tours. When I asked him why he chose that particular employment he said: "It keeps me off the street". Boom tish.
Since I didn't win the lottery this week either...
...I might as well dream a little.
1. Designing restaurants/clubs/amusement parks etcetera - from the general conception down to the smallest practical details.
2. Novelist, I guess. Except I just want to write, I have absolutely no ambition to be published. Indeed the thought of it fills me with sheer horror! So I would still need that winning lottery ticket...
Dead bodies
I always wanted to be the guy that drew the white lines around dead bodies at a murder scene......
My fantasy job would be designing Nuclear Warheads. Must be the easiest job in the world - you could fill it full of Smarties and tell the boss it's the best nuclear warhead ever. They would only find out in the event of global annihilation, by which point, who cares .....
Hardly rocket science
Is it?
Guess I'm already following the path that was destined for me
so although I'm pretty much broke and knackered most of the time I'm content. I suppose If pushed to it I wouldn't have minded being involved in film making in some capacity but I was born with the curse of needing to paint so I find it hard to see myself doing anything else.
I do harbour one smallish dream of one day when the inevitable happens and Donna and I are free of our caring duties,of finding a small piece of property somewhere peaceful and starting up a B&B catering for those souls of an artistic bent. Somewhere quiet to create away from the pressures of life.
Artistic retreats
One of my favourite eps of Grand Designs is the artist couple who bought and renovated a place in Puglia, Italy, as a place for artists to go and stay...
Lovely idea, can non-artists come too?
But of course.
Especially members of The Massive. Mate's rates will be the order of the day should this ever become a reality.
One more thing.
I'd quite like to be Santa.
He only comes once a year....
I think I AM him.
FWIIW
Preferred career - First engineer on cruise liners working the Bahamas, OR - Lecturer in mathematics.
fantasy career - Owning & running my own, succesful, independent record shop / coffe bar.
Here are my two
Preferred job: Video editor
Give it a go: running a music venue.
There is almost nowhere to see bands down here unless you go to Brighton but having seen a number of pubs that put on bands close recently I guess making it pay is pretty difficult at the moment plus the hours are exhausting.
Coulda/woulda/shoulda: Trial
Coulda/woulda/shoulda: Trial attorney or History Lecturer.
The fantasy job? Welllll, I never let go of the childhood dream of being an astronaut. Or an FBI Agent.
Part of me is going ti be a young child until I die. *sucks lolly and goes back to Nintendo DS game*
But I love lots of things...
Alternative career(s): I wish I'd listened to my mum and had voice training when young and become a professional singer - perhaps a recitalist or lieder singer.
Or I wish I'd tried harder to get into acting.
Or was a successful and published poet.
Fantasy: I would make nice food and things for people - not run a restaurant or anything like that. I would like to make cakes and nice food for people, perhaps to order. Actually, I would like the job of a person we met a couple of years ago on Jura. She was looking after a tea-tent at Jura House and Gardens and in the quiet bits was sketching and reading. I'd like to do that, maybe not in Jura, but somewhere pretty.
In between making the cakes and food I would write poems, throw pots, sing and think nice thoughts!
*is aware of the exceedingly hippy nature of this little dream*
In that case, I'm a hippy too
That all sounds ace and right up my street too.
Gizza Job
Fantasy Job: Manager of Liverpool FC.
One I'd Like To Try: Scriptwriter
For me:
Preferred career: the one I've got (I'm in logistics).
Give a try: (awaits howls of anguish) the Law. I'd quite like to be a barrister but I'm nowhere near bright or quick-thinking enough to be really good at it.
From my Upper West Side apartment
I would:
1) Buy and sell mid-century objets d'art and furniture. Perhaps have a little shop for which I choose the hours.
2) Be a therapist. Money for old rope, but I am a good listener.
OK, well...
Fantasy gig: second-hand shop, selling musical instruments, valve hifi and elpees.
Give it a go: gardener (hands dirty, NOT a designer)
Tonight, Matthew
My fantasy role would be the maitre'd at any top Michelin starred eateries, so that I could say to all the braying Hoorays and Henriettas, ' I'm afraid your reservation is cancelled, we have a party of pensioners in from the local care home. We've charged it to your account, you don't object?'
Give it a go: Plumber
Tonight matthew x 2
FWIIW, I like & admire both of your choices PB.
I want to be
Keith Richards guitar technician or a successful record producer.
That is all. Not too much to ask for is it? i mean come on, give me a break. Keef, are you listening, come on man.
Balls.
Back to real work then.
My choice
Fantasy job - Dinosaur Hunter. Work would be...intermittent
Give it a go - Time traveller. I've actually already mastered the 'going forwards' bit, albeit slowly.
Disappointed...
...that no-one has said "blow job".
That's cos it's not a dream...
.
*sobs abjectly*
Of course
For some people a blow job is a job like any other.
Fantasy job - playwright
Give it a go - involves Jayne Mansfield and lobsters
Can I be a
- Driver of pan European steam trains, something like the Orient Express during the 1930's and 50's.
- Would like to give it a go working for a publishing house commissioning all sorts of stuff that probably wouldn't make it to Waterstones, but I would like to read.
Dream job would be....
Test Match Special commentator - the banter, the cake, oh and the cricket.
Would like to try - landscape gardener. I quite enjoy the garden and allotment and would be quite happy to be paid to do it.