..."Don't you know who I am" he said, when, as a Homebase employee, I was unable to direct him to the particular brand of hosepipe coupling he required.

well never been called a massive bellend but certainly equivalent terms

these days?

I worked with Paul Qakenfold in 1990 and found him to be very friendly and undemanding unlike many so-called top DJ's.
Wankers--- have worked a lot in venues and clubs i've come in to contact with quite a few muso/DJ's. Here's my wankers list
1) The Brand New Heavies,absolute prima Donas. we'd worked with Bryan adams the night before and he was a gent.
2)Bobby Gillespie-did the Don't you know..... I told him to look under the collar of his jacket to see if his mum had written his name there.
3) Darren Emerson (Underworld)..not a nice man
4) The Macc lads --Spend most of the night stealing stuff

to balance that here are 4 people who were wonderful to deal with
Joe Brown(lovely man) Charlie Harper (UK Subs) Norman Cook and Kid n Play (Rappers)

Wankers:

Roger Cook (tried to hold me personally liable for his additional car parking charge as I would not allow him to queue jump in the Our Price I was working in at the time)

The Wonderstuff (just deeply unpleasant)

Seal (his aid insisted I shut the record shop and usher out all other customers so that his "star" could browse without being harrassed - I ponted out that no one in the shop knew who he was, and if they did, they really weren't that bothered)

Jeremy Clarkson (possibly the most unpleasant individual I have ever met)

The cast of Casualty circa 1992

Lovely people I have met:

Julian and Dorian Cope (a gentleman and a charming, beautiful woman)

New Order (just lovely. All four of them)

Martin Phillips of The Chills (slightly embarrassed by my hero worship but a great fella)

Gabrielle Drake (genuinely touched and grateful when I told her how much her brother's music meant to me)

Peter Gabriel (painfully shy and self conscious but really, really nice)

Thom Yorke (treat him like a star and he gets prickly - treat him like a normal bloke and he's great fun)

... that The Killers are deeply unpleasant.

David Tennant I met briefly before he was Doctor Who. He was a very nice man.

I once had to speak to Soloman Burke on the phone. I felt like someone talking to God. He was extremely gracious.

David Duchovny was an arse.

Though I have no evidence of actual awfulness, I have never felt a room get more chilly than when Mark Lawson entered it. This, however, is merely a feeling I got and is not to be entirely trusted.

Surely famous people are just like normal people, but famous. The difference is, all we ask of normal people is that they be civil. Famous people we expect to be charming. There's a bloke down my road that I don't like but I'm not going to name him.

I spent some time with Rod Steiger, and he was delightful. I was slightly perplexed when he started singing to me in a lift, but it added to the charm.

and both times he was a complete arse.

Wankers male and female

Paul Young
Ricky Gervais
Shane Richie
Jenni Falconer
Charlotte Church
Lenny Henry
Charlie from Casualty
Peter Kay
Ian Kelsey
Jessie Wallace
Tara Palmer-Tompkinson
Duncan Banatyne
Bill Turnbull
Katherine Rogers
Alan Davies
Trevor Eve
Danny Dyer
Robert Lindsay
Sir Alan Sugar
Mark Strong
Leslie Grantham
David Baddiel

I could go on

And about those you've asked yourself 'who the fuck's that?', you've answered your own question. People eventually tire of you being so difficult.

Miranda Richardson. She was rude, snippy and full of herself. I was ten. TEN. Like everyone at the time, I thought Blackadder was about the greatest thing I'd ever seen, and she cut me entirely dead when I asked for an autograph.

On the other hand:

Simon Pegg was a total gent when I bumped into him at a Charlotte Hatherley gig at ULU a few years ago. Fellow Gloucester boy - no wonder he's nice.

John Peel. Met him twice, once fleetingly and once for a whole evening. He was just as I hoped and imagined he would be.

Ronnie Corbett. I was pissed at a comedy club in Ealing, and approached him. He was utterly charming.

& he was a bell-end of the highest order. I just though he was a dick before I even knew it was him as I'd never had an opinion on him before that

Nice people;

Pete Turner out of Elbow is incredibly polite & a top bloke. Ive met him a couple of times & he is always sound.

They say you should never meet your heroes but when I met Shane MacGowan he was very pleasant. He was drinking a pint of bloody mary & absolutely stank but he was lovely nonetheless. (as a bonus I had met John Cooper Clarke two minutes earlier & he was a gent too!)

However, Paul Smith out of Maximo Park may think that I am a dick.... I saw him at a Leonard Cohen concert & he was really nice to me...despite me interrupting his conversation & then failing to even acknowledge his girlfriend. I was horrified when I realised how unintentionally rude I had been!

backstage at a Van Morrison concert, standing in the centre of the room ignoring everyone, even the two awestruck young boys who asked for an autograph. (I was too scared to take up the offer of an introduction to Van). Paul Brady was there, and he was a bit of a prick too.

Contrast the charming James Hunt sitting in front of me at a Roger Water's 'Pros & Cons of Hitchiking' gig, with not one but two fabulously attractive dolly birds. (Can I say 'dolly birds'?)

I spoke to Seth Lakeman's brother at the bar before a gig and he was an arse - listen Sean, it's not my fault your brother is taller, better looking, demonstrably more talented and has a cooler name than you.

But footy pundit Garth Crooks was a thoroughly decent chap. He didn't even hit me when I asked him how many times a day people made Garth Brooks jokes, and his handshake was a thing of manly wonder. Odd, as on the telly he can seem a bit berkish, but he was a really nice guy.

Danny John Jules, who played the Cat in Red Dwarf, was an absolutely brilliant bloke; I met him in the bar before a production of Our Country's Good that he was appearing in.

My dad met John Cleese on holiday years ago - when he was still with Connie Booth, I think - and he was fantastically eccentric and seemed like a great bloke (he even did the funny walk at one point).

Superficially, it seems a wee bit harsh to judge how nice/evil people are on the basis of a quick meeting, but a basic politeness isn't overly difficult. Conversely, if your wife has just left you, you're unlikely to want to sign autographs.

and mystical scouse legend John Power was a bit of a tit when I met him but he was probably having a tough day.

Guy Garvey was extremely lovely when I met him, happy to take the p*ss out of the PR sh*t who decided gunning for me was a good idea. Chuck D was an absolute gent.

It's quite true that being a bit nice takes you a lot further. You want your rock and roll attitude on stage not in the corner shop.

A f*cking well absolutely nice chap.

The ex once shared an airport, courtesy taxi thingy with him and said he was a diamond geezer.

Met him in Lyme Regis when I was 14 back in July 1982. Bloke in a record shop said he was coming. Didn't believe him until I saw John McCoy first (Bit scary so didn't approach him). Then Gillan came walking up the road. Top geezer....stopped and talked and I got his autograph. He then drove off in a really old knackered BMW.

Robert Plant's good value as well but there always seems to be at least four other people with him and one thing I ain't is a sycophant baby...........up the Wolves

As far as I can recall I've only ever met - meaning actually spoken to - 2 famous people.

Fish out of Marillion in 1983 who was stood at the bar at The Mayfair in Newcastle having a drink before they went on, who was very quiet but very pleasant to me.

And Liz Fraser, Carry On and Ealing comedy actress, who I spoke to when she opened our village summer fete thing one year when I was about 12. She was beautiful and a delight.

EDIT: Wait a minute, yes I've remembered - Johnnie Walker once bought me a few others a pint while he was trying to chat up a female friend of ours. Perhaps 'chat-up' is too strong a term. Anyway he was grace and charm and thoroughly good-natured.

Played for England for five minutes and I met him twice. Both times, an absolute arse.
However, Mike Gatting was an absolute gent, self-effacing and funny.

On the pop star front not much to report save that Mick Jagger comes across very well and so does Noel Gallagher.

Michael Palin really is the nicest man in the world. And Niall Quinn is next on the list.

I'm hitting the PF5 button repeatedly here - this is beezer!

a correlation between how famous they are and how nice they are?

The ones you expect to be nice are cunts, and vice versa.

poor Stephen Fry then? Surely he has to be the nicest person in the world? Is he a C-word of astronomical proportions?

I have also met Fish out of Marillion. Quite quiet and shy (and indeed tall) was the impression. Certainly not rude or bad mannered.

This was a few years back. There had been a Britney Spears gig in Dublin and Ms Katona, Louis Walsh and a couple of others arrived into the bar after the show. My pal and I were sitting at a table that had room for more and Kerry came over and asked if she could join us. She was delightfully chatty, kept calling me 'Edna' [my name is 'Enda'] and bought us a round, posed for pics and showed us her bra (it was a gay bar- things were going that way...).

Louis Walsh was quiet, but perfectly civil.

Not being a fan of either's musical output, I can still say that they were Very Nice People.

He was head of 'Ents' and we all thought he was a bit of a tosser. We thought he was an even bigger tosser when he told us he was in a band (Samson). When we went to see them play we had to admit that, Bruce may have been a bit of a tosser, but he had a great voice and was obviously destined for better things.

A friend of mine – a long time Floyd fanatic - told me that he once spotted Dave Gilmour in a London restaurant. So he waited until Dave was paying the bill before asking Dave for an autograph. To which Dave replied “Oh do fuck off”.

Wanker.

Some years later, I’m wandering round the paddock enclosure at Brands Hatch. Stood alone by Steve O’Rourke’s Porsche is Mr Gilmour. Mindful of my friend’s encounter I make no attempt to engage him in any way but another punter sidles up alongside me and starts to talk about the McLaren F1 GTR that Steve owned. I’m busy, thinking of how I can escape but Dave wanders over and explains what happened to it, how it performed and how Steve and Nick Mason collected cars, but he preferred historic aircraft.

My newly acquired buddy and I moved on 20 minutes later. “What a great bloke” says New Mate, “He must have some money. Must be a banker or something – you can tell by the accent”.

Great bloke.

I was at the studio when they were recording Level Headed and they were rude and unfriendly to my 15 year old self. Julian Cope was lovely when I complemented him on his concert. Friends of mine "in the biz" have judged as tossers Quentin Tarantino, Denzel Washington, Tim Roth and John Lydon, and as nice guys Phil Collins and Alfred Molino.

...and that's one too many (also see above).

Working on an arena gig for him & his band of well-known musicians, we were told he had refused to travel in the bus with the rest of the band from Sheffield the night before and a hire car was obtained for him at short notice. He would not soundcheck while we were in view of the stage and would not sign an autograph when asked politely. Oh, and we had to "paper" the gig because it had flopped and could still only manage a half-full hall despite freebie tickets.

Whenever I attend a function/dinner where there are "celebrity" guests or speakers I always try to get my menu/programme signed as a souvenir of the occasion. One such trade function was compered by Bradley Walsh. It was too much trouble for him to lift a pen & simply sign his name but fortunately the MC, Alan Dedicoat, was charming and happy to sign and add "Voice of the balls"

At a charity function I spent some time talking to the lovely Andrew Sachs about his version of "Shaddup Your Face" and when I said I owned the single uttered those immortal words, "you're the one who bought it!". He also added "Manuel Que!" to his autograph. Same dinner, lovely Lorraine Chase - she can do no wrong in my eyes after meeting her. Fab.

Met Robert Plant and I was mildly rude to him. He however was a completely charming trooper.

Lemmy
Inspiral Carpets
Wedding Present
Vic and Bob
Carter USM
Richard Marx
PWEI
Sam Brown
James
EMF
Just about any US artist, and their "people"
Lots of others

Scary, but not unpleasant in any way:

Happy Mondays

John Peel
Richie Manic
James Manic
Bob Mortimer
Eddie Izzard
Jarvis Cocker

Less pleasant:
Jack Dee
Roy Hattersley

Once interviewed Anthony Daniels. Awful until the cameras rolled, awful when they stopped. In between, you would have thought he was in love.

Graham Taylor, ex-England manager, is an absolutely top bloke. As is Kevin Keegan, though after the interview he went off on a bizarre flight of fancy about how much postage to put on a Jiffy bag when sending a hardback book: not quite "I'd love it, LOVE IT, if he came here and he hadn't put enough stamps on it" etc etc, but as funny.

Peel was great, Andy Kershaw had a nose bleed (he'd just been smacked), David Gedge likes to hold court a bit in a "look at me, I'm not holding court" way, Lloyd Cole's very nice, if a bit weary. Billy Bragg is a top bloke but autistically serious.

Tom Baker was sweet and totally barking.

I'll get my thinking head on for some more.

was a bit of a lech when I met him.

I was with my girlfriend at the time who, it has to be said, was a bit of a stunner. This was a while back, when he was the clean cut football hero, not the shacked up presenter with an model like he is
now.

A friend of mine was working for a publishing house that were involved in something he was doing and there was some meet and greet cheese and wine type thing. Free drinks anyway and we got invited. So we are stood chatting with some people we knew and he walked past. Did a double take and came back to talk to 'us'. He introduced himself to us, and then preceded to ignore myself and the other two and focused directly on my good lady.

He shook her hand and held on a little too long for my liking and started asking her about herself. She did a little flirting herself but finally got around to saying she and her boyfriend knew the person who was working with him. He did a little sideways glance in my direction and then said to her that there was a proper party going on later and that we should come down. Then he was pulled away by somebody else. We had a little laugh about it although I was a little peeved and grabbed another drink.

About ten minutes later my lady turned to me and said: "Just think, if you weren't here I'd probably be shagging him now!"

I was lucky enough to interview Mick Jones of The Clash.
I spent the entire day with him at the studio where he was producing The Libertines. It was psychedelic, intimidating and very moving as, when I was 15, I was obsessed with The Clash and living in gloomy poverty 'oop north. I only saw them once -at the Top Rank in Sheffield in 1979 - and it still remains as incendiary and powerfully transformative in my memory to this day.
When the interview was being arranged it was all very intense and wreathed in paranoia as Doherty and the Libertines were on the cusp of being 'the new Oasis', Rough Trade had piled a lot of money and time into them and the tabloids were sniffing around the Doherty/Kate Moss car crash.
Rough Trade wanted to know if I was Kosher, so I had to email their publicist and 'sell' myself. I wrote honestly about what The Clash had meant to me and included some stuff that would identify me as a fan who was interested in their legacy etc and not gossip. It was quite personal (I expressed my anxiety about meeting a hero!) and detailed my Sheffield gig 'epiphany', but hopefully wasnt too sycophantic.
Eventually, the magazine I was writing for got the ok and I found myself being introduced firstly to Geoff Travis (who was cool and suspicous), various Libertines (Carl Barat was absolutely lovely) and then taken into the control room to see Mick at work.
To be honest, I was shitting myself and sat quietly in the corner. Mick had obviously been given a nudge, came over, put headphones on my head and shouted 'what you think?' over the music. I smiled and nodded. He put his arm around me 'lets get some fackin' dinner, Im starvin!'
I spent the day with him talking about everything and nothing, films, books, comics, reggae, family. He dropped fantastic anecdotes about everyone from Pete Townsend to 'Marty' Scorsese. We both got emotional when he talked about Joe Strummer, he genuinely made me crease with laughter, signed everything I put in front of him and was one of the most entertaining and warm individuals Ive ever met. I managed to hold back the 15 year old fan until the very end when the booze kicked in 'Look Mick, thanks so much for today and also for...well...y'know'
'Pleasure' he said 'I saw your email. Sheffield Top Rank eh? Yeah...that was a good gig'.

Tossers
Damon Albarn
The ginger one from Girls Aloud
Keith Barron
Fearne Cotton
Van Morrison (obvious I know, but he did tell me to fuck off in response to me wishing him a good gig)
Tatu

Lovely
Cheryl Cole
Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Mick Jones
Chris Cornell
Death Cab for Cutie
Patrick Duff
Ash
Trent Reznor
Sharleen from Texas

All the famous folk I've met have been nice (at least on the surface), with the exception of Ron Atkinson, who was a bit of a wazzock.

I feel sorry for celebs in a way. We all have bad days. Occasionally, on a bad day, I might be a bit terse with someone. As a nobody, it doesn't really matter much, but if I was famous it'd become an anecdote that the person involved (and everyone they re-told the story to) would base my entire character on.

But yeah, Big Ron was a gifford.

Edit: Ooh, almost forgot! Derek Hatton was a knob an' all.

The nicest musicians I have encountered have all been Swedish, for some reason they just seem totally down to earth and friendly.
Nina Persson, Nicolai Dunger, Mattias Hellberg, Soundtrack of Our Lives, Dungen, Hellacopters amongst others - all utterly charming.

Other really friendly and fluffy musos I've met over the years included Joe Strummer, Marco Pirroni, Mick Jones, Don Letts, Blue Aeroplanes, Pete Shelley, Ed Hammel (Hammel On Trial), Chris Spedding, The Damned, Mick Head from Shack. Most surprising of all was Anton Newcombe from Brian Jonestown Massacre, I was expecting to get a pasting but is lovely as is his hairy sidekcik Joel Gion.

The "Sour" being Siouxsie and Steve Severin, the only time I've been told to oh just f~ck off by a "celeb" was when I took an opportunity and approached them for an interview for my fanzine once. I was with a mate who had a Siouxsie tattoo aswell and he was not best pleased to say the least! We did even follow Severin into the gents with the express purpose of giving him a slap but ended up standing either side of him at the urinals glowering and trying not to look at his willy.

Used to work for Virgin Megastores (back in the day..cd`s, remember them?) and did lots of instore signings etc

PSB`s Neil Tennant was chummy and slightly camp, Chris Lowe was down to earth and had invited his Mum and Dad along for a cup of tea

Manics...quiet but friendly

Beckham...nice but er..dim

Westlife...were ok but their security were tossers

Blue were tossers

Muse...lead singer was a moody teenager

Elbow...were lovely

Slipknot...couldn`t really tell....obscured by masks

It's funny... you grow up idolising certain people and then, after your brain gets delivered - sometime in your thirties - and you've read a few books, you realise 'If I met him, I really don't think I'd like John Lennon.'

but I do feel like an old lady in the post office on pensions day...

I didn't say stop!

Met him in the Welly Park bar in Belfast, after his team had whipped Ulster. I was rather drunk, but he was a perfect gent, talked me through that evenings match, and thanked me for coming over to talk.

How pleasant. And him a rugby player. Who'd have thought?

Lovely:

Jimmy Page
John Peel
Nick Lowe
The Zutons
Richard Briers
Matt Dawson
Dara O'Briain
Bruce Oldfield
Boris Johnson
Michael Grade
Gabby Yorath
Graeme Le Saux
James Cracknell
Damien Hirst
Fenella Fielding
Austin Healey

Not so much:

Trudie Styler

I was going to add Gavin Campbell (That's Life), but he was more surreal than wanky - I remonstrated with him for bashing into my car and his response was 'But I'm Gavin Campbell!' Indeed.

was the nicest, most down to earth person to deal with backstage at an entire V festival once.
except for the foo fighters. who'd have thought eh?

can also vouch for noel gallagher who at the time of Wonderwall was stopped in the street by me and my sister and who acted like he had all day to stop and chat.

also brett anderson. couldn't, literally *could not* have been nicer.
even luke haines mentions suede's legendary 1993 'big pop star era' friendlines in a book where he hates every other perosn on the entire planet, even himself.

Was an absolute gent. Even signed his autograph twice and apologised that the first one was unreadable.
Tommy Vance was also lovely despite being a bit scary as his voice sounded just like it did on the radio (I'd always presumed substantial use of echo.) George Michael-shy but charming. Mark Owen is just as nice as he appears whereas Robbie wasn't, as he was great in a Tigger sort of way. Echo the comments on Fish, an absolute diamond, and Phil Lynott quite simply the largest presence I have ever met but in a good way. Tom Baker as a previous post indicated superb and barking.Elvis Costello-muso of almost irritating proportions but excellent company. Told to F off by Mike Oldfield but I was pleased that he'd even noticed my 16 yr old self demanding Froggy Went A-Courtin when he asked for requests at a particularly good Sheffield City Hall gig in 1982-Well he did smile at the same time so I took it for camaraderie.
Bruce Foxton-Greatest ever bass player and genuinely interested in talking as a person not star meets star struck.

On a less positive note,(although mixed I suppose)
David Coverdale-Don't you know who I am?
Me-Yes, and your album is still sh*t
DC-Oh fair enough

Bananarama
Nick Heyward
Rowan Atkinson
Kenneth Williams

Complete coc*s to a man (or woman)

Less

and I need to keep my counsel (unless I make it down to London for drinkies of course). Not that I have any especially good tales.

I did once have to explain to Melvyn Bragg why I couldn't tell him what to say in a House of Lords debate (whilst all the time thinking "you're Melvyn Bragg, and you want ME to tell you what to say????") - he was a bit testy but civil.

My favourite was when the colleague across the desk from me had to make small talk with the effusively lovely Dickie Attenborough, who insisted on waiting on the phone rather than have us call him back. My colleague was looking increasingly panicky thinking of things to say (he'd just come to us after working in a job centre, so wasn't used to people being nice to him). When he finally resorted to a conversational "So, made any good films recently?" I literally fell off my chair laughing.

Lovely bloke, signed my Will & Grace DVD.

I'm gonna make wee-wee in my boxers here if youse are gonna keep this up... God, this hasn't half cheered me up today...

John Landis - even though I was distratcing him from looking at toy Daleks at the time
Sean Connery - even though I couldn't answer his question about duty free scotch
Ewan McGregor - even though I stood on his foot
Clarissa Dickson-Wright - she was full of praise for my bacon bap
Alex Higgins - though he was clearly knackered from attending a wedding he still signed autographs and posed for photographs
Julian Cope - utterly charming

Michael Caine - grumpier than a lump of coal

Carol Smilie - sinfully rude

David Copperfield - planet sized prat

During my short stint as social sec. at art school I met quite a few beings of a musical bent,most were as one would expect,a little up themselves,a little overly refreshed and in the case of Arthur Brown mostly tonto.Spent a very illuminating and enjoyable afternoon talking painting with George Melly and a sweary entertaining post gig night with Phil Lynott.The nicest two as I recollect were Alan Carr and Ralph McTell,gents the pair of them.

Hall of Fame:

Ronnie Wood - just a great bloke

Simon Kirke - diamond geezer etc

Paul McGrath - complete gentleman

Jerry Hall - utterly charming

Jack Nicholson - genuinely funny

Simon le Bon - bit serious but straight up

Kirsty McCall - shy, lovely

Mitch Easter - friendly, interested

Phil Lynott - great presence, gentle guy

Niall Quinn - total gent

Hall of Shame:

Gilmour - it was a long time ago and maybe it was a bad day

Norman Watt-Roy - what a player!, and, er,....

Van the Pram - I hardly need to add anything here

Georgie Fame - see 'Gilmour' above. Narky in the extreme

Somewhere in Between:

Jagger - Maybe he was just shy

Geoff Travis - D Green's description above of him as 'cool and suspicious' is bang on!

The Unforgiveable Four - 3 of them are fine...

approach or work with Ben Fogle. That's all I'm saying.

My brother used to work in a trendy boutique adjacent to the Westbury Hotel in Dublin and Jason Donovan, who was stayiong there, came in and spent most of the day talking to him; they went clubbing that night (Ithink this might've during Jase's 'grey period') but my bros says he was a top geezer, couldn't have been nicer.

But what about Kylie? Anybody bumped into the Ausie squeak?

Big hero of mine and the nicest person you could ever meet. Made a great joke about Ravenelli signing for Boro', something about pasta if I remember, and after only being introduced to me once remembered my name an hour later when me met again. Him on the way to the bogs, me to the bar. As lemmy said of meeting Michael Palin "Its nice to meet one of your heroes who doesn't turn out to be a C**t."

I also sat next to Rik Wakeman on a plane and he didn't say I word, which I was pleased about because I hate talking on planes.

My Dad has met Damon Hill and said he was an arse but Jenson Button, standing next to him at the urinal, was very pleasant.

Some years ago, Mrs F and I went to see George Jones and Tammy Wynette at Hammersmith. We were in our seats with the place filling up when who should go into the seat a couple of rows ahead of us: none other than Elvis. And what a thoroughly nice bloke he was too: the poor fella couldn't even slip off to the loo in peace but fair do's - he signed autographs, posed with fans for photo's, shook hands and was as pleasant as anyone could be.

It must be frustrating for a 'sleb when a quick pee break turns into a 20 minute meet n' greet and you're constantly being tapped on the shoulder but credit to Elvis, he did it all with immense good grace.

Not met him, and don't want to, but just wanted to relate the story told on an old Word podcast some years ago. He used to insist that his backing band were ready and waiting for him in the recording studio but then didn't arrive for hours. Fed up with this, the musicians had the idea of taking his selection of harmonicas and wiping their arses on them. They could hardly contain themselves when Van reached for them during recording. Mark Ellen tells it a lot better.

A few times. Was a bit precious and 'don't you know who I am' sadly. While Jason Donovan is a true gent.

Sat next to David Mellor at lunch at House of commons. Absolute tosser had to have something different for every course and never stopped talking about football.

Saw Gene Vincent in Green Man pub in Burton on Trent in 1963. He seemed a bit phased at being approached by a 16 year old a little the worse for drink, but was happy to pass the time of day.

Was offered a chip by Ray Davies who was sitting in a snooker hall with the Kinks waiting to go on stage at Jubilee Hall Burton around 1963/4.

total shit - Damon Albarn
A total delight - Graham Coxon

Who'da thunk it eh?

...had a drink with the former Head of BBC Light Entertainment. This was a man who'd dealt with every major entertainer of the previous twenty-five years, was challenged to name just one star who wasn't capable of behaving like an absolute arse when the mood took him.

This man thought and thought and thought and thought. Then, just as he was about to give up, his face brightened as an idea came to him. "There is one. Rolf Harris!"

Edwina Currie - Met her at a do for woman truck drivers. Well informed and surprisingly unpatronising for a politician.

Anneka Rice - deeply horrible woman, the nastiest 'personality' I've ever had the misfortune etc... Insecure and selfish to the nth degree. Remember 'Challenge Anneka?' Went on an aid convoy to Croatia with her, everyone else, mainly volunteers, roughed it for a couple of weeks. She just swanned in from a hotel for soundbites. I could go on but leave it , she really isn't worth it...

Anita Roddick - nice enough, but there comes a point when hippy enthusiasm starts to resemble fascism. The enforced wacky 'alternative' jollity of the Body Shop factory reminded me of Simon Pegg's manager in Black Books

Sandy Denny - ethereal and stoned - well it was 40 odd years ago...

Alberto E Los Trios etc - top geezers

George Melly - as above

The late Johnny Dankworth (and Cleo) absolutely lovely, charming, friendly, happy to chat to any and everybody

Vinnie Jones - macho twat

Ricky Tomlinson - will talk to anyone -a proper old leftie

Sally Traffic - a trouper

Johnnie Walker - ditto

I expected to hate Clarkson, but stuck in the passport line at Malpensa airport he kept everyone entertained with anecdotes about ZZ Top. I'm guessing the solipsistic extrovert is:
a) Happy when the centre of attention
b) Nice when everything is going his way
Effectively a 15 year old boy then...

I was working in a branch of Waterstone's many years ago and sold Van Morrison a couple of books, (Teach Yourself Gaelic and Rosemary Eyton's F Plan Diet, if you're asking). The transaction began well enough but he started to appear agitated when it became clear that I had no idea who he was - after a couple of heavy hints about his band playing locally that night he snatched the bag from me and stalked out of the shop. The bloke behind him in the queue asked me breathlessly DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THAT WAS? He never played Preston Guild Hall again.