n-n-n-n-n-nineteen!

apparently

I know the first word of Thomas Hardy's "Return of the Native".

in Blackburn, Lancashire.*

*though the holes were rather small, upon counting them they found there were enough to fill London's Albert Hall

there ain't no cure for love...

they kiss on Main Street...

from New York to Paris...

(well, by '76 we'll be A-ok...)

means I love you, according to The Delfonics.

I´d wager that many people are somewhat sketchy on this subject, but know without any doubt that;

rah-rah Rasputin was lover of the Russian Queen, thanks to Boney-M

and that

Leon Trotsky was killed by an ice-pick (that made his ears burn) because of the Stranglers

everything's free!

According to West Side Story.

to know which way the wind blows

For years TMBG have performed a cover of a 1950's educational song called "why does the sun shine?" which starts with the line "The sun is a mass of incandescant gas..." Having been told by some fans that the facts within the song were not wholly correct, they wrote their own response song which starts: "The sun is a miasma of incandescant plasma..."

The Nightingales told me that they have free phones in Cuba, and on "Meaningless Love Songs" The HeeBeeGeeBees told me that "The World Was Very Big, And Bacon Comes From A Pig"

So two hitherto unknown pig-related song-factoids in one go there.

It winds from Chicago to LA. More than two thousand miles long, it goes through St Louis, Missouri, Oklahoma City, Amarillo, Gallup, Flagstaff, Winona, Kingman, Barstow and San Bernadino. Apparently.

Now we're in twin cities
Where the Mississippi rises and then falls
One is Minneapolis
The other, though less famous, is St Paul's

I've yet to find a use for this nugget courtesy of Everything But The Girl, but will credit them profusely if I ever do.

"Out on the wiley, windy moors
We'd roll and fall in green
You had a temper, like my jealousy
Too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me?
When I needed to possess you?
I hated you, I loved you too

Bad dreams in the night
They told me I was going to lose the fight
Leave behind my wuthering, wuthering
Wuthering Heights

(Chorus) Heathcliff, its me, Cathy come home
I'm so cold, let me in-a-your window"

Who needs Brodies Notes?

Momma used to take me to Audubon Park
Show me the ways of the world
She said "here comes a white boy there goes a black one,
that one's an octoroon
This little cookie here's a macaroon, that big round thing's
a red balloon
And the paper down here's called the Picayune

Thanks to Stuart Goddard I always remember that "Kennedy died in '63 (poor John F)".

Thanks to Stuart Goddard I always remember that "Kennedy died in '63 (poor John F)".

...Stereo by Pavement, I know that Rush's Geddy Lee speaks like an ordinary guy.

Thanks Richey

... that there are nine million bicycles in Beijing. Didn't used to know that.

Also rain on your wedding day is ironic.

is a moron..........

is not the paternal parent of a female child named Annie.

I've always been grateful to Ian Dury for this invaluable little nugget:

"Also, it takes much longer to get up north, the slow way"

Indeed it does.

Ah yes, that mountain is in the Serengeti

Thanks, TOTO

So, there you go

according to Bobby Z.

Died in November, 1963. Cheers Sheryl Crow.

because of John R Cash

But I now at least know that there is a town in North Ontario.

Also, I know that going down to the woods today would probably mean that I was in for a big surprise.

the new boss is just the same as the old boss.....
Oh how true, how true.

learned when to hold ´em and when to fold em and when to bugger off as well

and Nixon was coming (oh the images!)

kind of appropriate at this moment, but I learned all I know about this and its after effects from The Pogues.

... There lurks a mysterious, invisible force. The Black Hole of Cygnus X-1.

And, Patrick Moore, if you're reading, it's 'Invisible to telescopic eye' according to Rush, so don't waste your time looking.

Stonehenge was built hundreds of years ago.

Before the dawn of history in fact.

they've got a wall in China and it's a thousand miles long

(its actually nearer 5 and half- so no pass in my Geography test, Mr Simon)

It's 'Trivial Pursuit' - singular rather than plural.

Although thanks to Filthy, Rich and Catflap I know that "all the cool people call it Triv."

Bono told me that MLK was shot early in the morning on the 4th of April. Hold on, that's not right...

we should be somewhat cautious learning facts about Hurricane Carter and Joey Gallo from Bob Dylan albums.

...it's only 39 miles and 45 minutes from Liverpool to Manchester, and that's the birthplace of the singer in It's Immaterial, you know.

it is possible to catch thrush by licking railings.

(And I've just noticed someone else has put his up - doh!)

a number of us here know the Latin for Giant Hogweed but are embarrassed to admit how...

founder member of XTC and later a member of Shriekback informed us the the 159 bus runs along Rossmore Road and there's a doll's house shop on the corner of Lisson Grove and Rossmore Road.
However a lot changes in 25 years and these facts may no longer be true.

... that Steven Biko was killed in Sept 77 in Port Elizabeth, in cell 619 on a day when it was "business as usual" (and the weather was fine)......

Thanks to the Run DMC track King of Rock, I learnt that although they had three members, they were not the Beatles.

I can't begin to estimate how much social embarrassment that simple fact has saved me over the years at pub quizzes.

That dropping an inappropriate swear word into a pop song makes you look like a bit of a FLYING idiot.

I hadn't heard of this until I heard "The Ghosts of Cable Street" by The Men They Couldn't Hang.

The British Army weighs a combined total of 1500 tons (not sure if it was metric)

That "we" would send a limousine to collect Herr Hitler from Heathrow

and that Ken Boothe really made some UK pop reggae (Joe damns him with faint praise - Everything I Own is a terrific record)

Only a minute, if you're a girl

Some girls will, some girls wont, some girls need a lotta loving and-a, some girls dont.

That's that cleared up then.

I learnt about the case of Bentley & Craig from Elvis Costello's Let 'Em Dangle.

We know that :

"Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak......Somewhere in this town."

Can anyone guess where ??

I now know that in 1842 a 17 year old girl was employed to push coal carts in a mine. Because of her physical stance whilst so doing she developed great big muscles on her legs and a baldy patch upon her head

This knowledge gained from "The testimony of Patience Kershaw", a standout track from "Here's the Tender Coming"

and although that may be meteorologically suspect, it is undoubtedly a fact that players only love you when they're playing.

(or possibly not)

Sunrise doesn't last all morning.
A cloudburst doesn't last all day.
The darkness only stays a nighttime.
Daylight is good at arriving at the right time.
All things must pass.

for the information that the Mona Lisa was done by an Italian geezer.

Oh yes, and the walrus was Paul.

Drove a tank and held a generous rank whilst a Blitzkreig rained...

of Zizi Jeanmaire

without Peter Sarstedt, I'd venture ...

a long way to Tipperary....whether it's more or less than the whole day it takes to get to Tulsa is open to debate.

Napoleon did surrender.

And...

The winner takes it all.

contribution to mathematics was explained to me by Tom Lehrer (although it is apparently untrue that he plagiarised someone else's work)

They drink it in the Congo.

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis.

It's down at the end of lonely street
At heartbreak hotel.

in New Orleans. Poor boys should give it a miss.

The Chelsea Hotel in New York, though, is worth leaving your limousine waiting in the street for. Room service includes a Goblin Teasmade, apparently.

We sent a reviewer to the Hotel California, but despite its extremely liberal policy on checkout times, he's never come back.

lives in a log cabin, carries his guitar in a gunny sack and isn't very good at schoolwork.

k.d. Lang informed me that, 'God said gravy'.

The neck bone connected to the back bone,
The back bone connected to the thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the leg bone,
The leg bone connected to the foot bone,
The foot bone connected to the heel bone,
The heel bone connected to the toe bone.

"Kill me a son"

said killing to take place somewhere on Highway 61, aka the Jerusalem ring road

waits for noone and furthermore it won't wait for me.
Not only that but she flexes like a whore and falls to the floor indulging in a little self love.

Schindeleria Primaturus.

Thanks to Chris Squire for teaching me that.

... how to open doors with just a smile

The mystics and statistics say so.

And, incidentally, I really dig the clothes they wear.

A bored young William Ward M.P. bought Lords from Thomas Lord in 1825
- thanks to Duckworth and Lewis I now know about Cricket.

I learned that Vincent made a motorcycle called a Black Lightning. In 1952. And that Harleys and Greeveses and Indians won't do, 'cos they don't have a soul like a Vincent '52.

And also how to get my MGB GT running. But it soon stopped running, and I had to sell it.

for enlightening us about Hiawatha's indifference to the tactile advances of Minnie Ha-Ha (prior to the dirty talk...).

The female of the species is more deadlier than the male.

They probably formed that theory after their English teacher punched them in the face

only women bleed

Forty foot long (with a two ton anchor?)
No wonder the North Sea is plagued with scores of the fuckers adrift.

apparently mines is no disgrace. Feel better about that!

Answer: He got an ice pick that made his ears burn

triangular honey from triangular bees, and triangular almonds from triangular trees. Fact!

As any fule kno, the one thing that songs taught us above all else is that we don't need no edukashun

for cats apparently. Maybe an opportunity to develop a trendy range of little kitty sized jumpers?

...There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium, and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium, ...

… at the end of the rainbow. What's more, there's nothing to grow up for any more.

Sniff. * flicks through Yellow Pages for the Dignitas number*

I learnt that

The Cambridgeshire town of Chatteris has some highly regarded schools and an efficient one way system

There really is a hill called Lord Hereford's Knob, and its Welsh name is Twmpa

Simon Climie went into the mixed aggregate business after his pop career, much to the chagrin of his former music partner

Mariella Frostrup manages to make a living from doing voiceovers on commercials

A scalextrix transformer cost £3.10 in the early 70s (or perhaps £3 10s) but they were not always reliable

But only Seven Nights to Rock

How's that work?

You can eat them for elongated periods, 6 or 7 weeks even, without getting sick once

'Sometimes the snow comes down in June'

Perhaps.

'Sometimes the sun goes round the moon'

Almost never, I'd wager.

...The Great Emancipator took a bullet in the head
In the head... took a bullet in the back of the head

It was not December and it was not in May
It was the 14th day of April, that is Ruination Day
That's the day, the day that is Ruination Day

thanks, Gillian Welch!

was in On The Waterfront

and Simone de Beauvoir wrote stuff. Cheers, Lloyd!

drives a man insane

You won't need a husband, or a wife and that you'll pick your children from the bottom of a long black tube.

Thanks Zager And Evans

was a very strange time
a good year for labour and a bad year for wine
according to Al Stewart and he would know...

The 99%OGLLBT hitmakers counselled me that there is nothing better in life than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro on a Saturday night instead of going to the pub.

I've never looked back.

Did some eyeball pleasers
Einstein can't be classed as witless
and Noel Coward was a charmer

There's some smart people about, most likely with parental assistance

All the blowing-themselves-up-motherf*ckers will realise the minute they die that they were suckers

Thanks to the Manics I know that:

ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayitsworldwouldfallapart...

Apparently.

... Is Real.

Sir Alex Of Harvey, Head Of History, the English King putting a tax on tea is the reason that y'all Americans drink coffee.... AND that Vambo is a cross between Spiderman and Santa Claus!

rotate.

And she got a court to put a restraining order on me to prove it. Pop stars eh - you can't believe a word they say!

On the other hand, I do know what happened at St George's Hill in 1649, so swings and roundabouts, I guess.

I learnt more from a 3 minute record than I ever did in school.

but also that We all fall in love sometimes.

"I'm really shy - I like to stay home-e-o
Shakespeare's my guy..."

Can you guess what the next rhyme is?

To be honest, I'd really rather not have known.

If you get a flue attack, 30 days your on your back.

Every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its daaaaaawn.

It made his ears burn apparently ......

Its time to run like f**k!

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun

And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to nought
Or half a page of scribbled lines

50 in fact - and some of them will be of particular interest to blokes called Stan and Gus.