Entertainment For Lively Minds
Eau de Colgne, dwarves
I'm enjoying the programme on C4 about the 7 dwarves living in a house in Woking during their Christmas panto run ... the name of the production escapes me now, anyway last nights episode focused on gay, drag act 'Jamie' aka 'Britains only drag dwarf' who oddly dreams of being up there with "Elaine Page and Johnny Depp"
What really struck me last night about this fun show, was this; when Jamie was getting ready to go out we saw him via a mirror camera Im guessing, using his various sprays and scents. And this is it, he picked up his eau de cologne, Im guessing by his age and personality something strong and perfumy, and sprayed it no less that 20 (Twenty) times directly on to his neck. Twenty squirts of aftershave on your neck. If this wasn't enough he then used body spray over his (clothed) body for about 15 seconds, followed by hairspray. Now ozone considerations apart, I'm like god you must be able to smell this guy down the street - for two days. He'd be like Pepe le peu. Woking can probably still catch his scent on a warm day.
Maybe Im just conservative and understated, but I do 2 squirts as a rule, one below each ear. And it's usually not strong stuff either
On which note, his Christmas present from his friends was what was clearly Jean Claude Gaultier's 'Body' colgne. That stuff absolutely stinks and is REALLY strong, one squirt of that and you change the smell of everything for 6 feet around you all evening. It'll probably last him a week though.
Maybe it's just me. Are you a 'one' squirt or '20' squirts frangrance user?
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Sensitive skin
So none, as it drys me out. Just moisturiser for me. And that's why I look so young...
You say that
but no one can get close enough to find out ;)
I haven't worn aftershave
since I was about 16.
Any point? Do you statistically get more sex if you wear aftershave? It might conflict with my manly pheromones.
I don't know about
I don't know about statisitically but Lovely Kerry in the office I used to work in was never away from my desk on a Clinique Happy day.
Zero
I equate men use something smelly with men who are smelly and have something to cover up. There are plenty of fragrance free products around to do practical jobs like moisturising or stopping sweat.
One good thing about being an early riser if I'm in a hotel is that I can usually have my breakfast accompanied by the smell of breakfast rather than a group of competing salesmen who all want to smell stronger than the next one.
I squirt on a lot of scent, and for one good reason:
I have an awful lot of scent to squirt on.
Unfortunately, I take the same attitude to expensive fragrances as I do to jazz albums: I always feel there's room for one more well-reviewed gem in my collection.
At the moment I have 21 (twenty-one) bottles of fine scent on the go, and our bathroom cabinet is bursting at the seams.
"What's your latest scent purchase, duco01?" I hear you cry.
Well, it's this, Bigarade Concentrée by Frédéric Malle:
Wonderfully citrussy. Mmmmmmmmm.
I made the rule
a few yaers back, one comes in then one goes out. Ebay helps with this.
I currently use Kiehls 'Original Musk' for day to day, and Floris 'Elite' for suit days.
"Wonderfully citrussy"
So it should be at £130 a fucking bottle.
Think of it as an investment, Mr Law, sir
and anyway, Bigarade Concentrée is an absolute bargain compared with, say, Rose Ikebana by Hermes, which comes in just under the £200 mark.
Tremendous sillage on that scent. "Sillage". I like that word.
So a couple of squirts of that..
And all you'll hear is the delicate patter of pairs of Janet Reger's finest impacting upon the parquet?
Damn aftershave
Men should just smell of themselves. And if that's not nice, then you don't want 'em.
Aftershave.
I have a coarse beard and a splash or few squirts of poofjuice (as my grandfather used to refer to it) stops my face feeling like half a pound of minced beef post-shave. Moisturiser alone doesn't do it. You need something astringent. Surgical spirit works well if you're proper hard. I'm not.
And my wife likes the smell of my various colognes. Currently using Pagan Hombre, Man-O-Rub, You'll Need A Shitty Stick With This Stuff and a couple of others.
No I don't know their proper names. One of them comes in a blue bottle. Davidoff somethingortheother.
Blue bottle?
Bit of class.
That'll be
Davidoff Cool Water, I'm guessing. Nice...
Someone has to....
Although I'm fond of London Gentleman and Blackbeard's Delight, I prefer Sex Panther.
'60% of the time it works, everytime'
I done a lol.
Veronica Corningstone and I had sex and we are now in love! Did I say that out loud?
Yeah, you pretty much yelled it.
Even if you don't care about posh ponk
The book Perfumes by Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez is worth having a look at. Amazing critical writing. It has had an effect on me similar to when I read J Cope's Krautrocksampler - a sense of wanting to experience these things, then a realisation that the description was so good the reality only rarely could live up.
Yes, the Turin and Sanchez book is a classic
It's cost me a fortune over the years.
I can heartily endorse their recommendation of "New York" by Nicolaï, by the way:
It's a little gem.
I couldn't resist..
'If Thelonious Monk had been asked to play a lavender chord, it would have come out like this.'
Hai Karate anyone?
My dad
used to swear by that stuff. The marketing power of Valerie Leon.
Norwegian Wood
Was the first mass-market men's cologne launched in the UK. Not a lot of people know that.
Anyway, I'm sure if I was a dwarf drag act, I could think of a better stage name than 'Jamie' . Midget Neilsson?
norwegian wood
i'm sure there's a joke in that name somewhere ...
As I've already mentioned
I'm completely ignorant on this subject. How many – based on dimly remembered TV adverts – of the following are still on sale?
* Brut 33
* Old Spice
* Denim
* Mandate
* Eau Savage
* Blue Stratos
Erm,
Eau Sauvage is a genuine classic and, if I may be so bold to suggest, does not belong in the company you've given it.
I told you
I was ignorant of these things
Old Spice
Is certainly still going - apologies for posting something that's been around a bit:
As for the others, Mandate is a tremendous name for a scent. "Mandate, for Project Managers everywhere..."
Oh yeah, I occasionally squirt on a bit of Paul Smith's Extreme. Only occasionally though.
Mandate - Sacha Distel
Sacha Distel was Britain's go-to French crooner in the 60s and 70s. He had sleepy good looks and a certain Ginolaesque je ne sais quoi.
He advertised Mandate on a TV ad. We see him crooning in a night club - and then we see him relaxing at home on the couch with a lady, in front of a roaring fire. We see him preparing to mount the lady (trousers down, lad in hand) but then he stops, looks to the camera, and says "is OK...is my wife!". That's how I remember it, anyway.
Ha ha
Here it is
Splendid
Thank you, it's just how I remember it. Nearly.
If I'm honest ...
mandate as I recall smelt really good. I think the girls liked it too.
A few years later I got some Kouros which is strong and very distinctive, and again girls loved it. No accounting for taste. There's a lesson in there.
Likewise, there's a perfume that came out in the late 80s which I dont know the name of and I swear to this day whenever I get a whiff of it in the air I'm light the Bisto kid up on tiptoes following it to it's source. Makes any woman sexy in my opinion. Really. It is sex in a bottle.
Acqua di Parma's Colonia
has been available since 1916. Which is, well, quite a long time, I suppose.
Still...
...very classy though! Amongst my favourites that.
I was amazed to discover that this still exists. It used to be cool...way back when!
ATM
Does this stuff last? I've had a bottle of ck one for the best part of 20 years, and I've only used a tiny amount.
I think it depends upon where it's been kept,
and how tightly the bottle is sealed.
My dad had some stuff that was left on a sunny windowsill for at least a decade, and despite having lost all of its colour, the essential oils were all still present and correct, and it smelled weirdly like new.
On the other hand, if the lid's been left off, the whiffy parts escape until you're left with a watery liquid of the original hue but with little purpose in life.
I don't mind a bit of scent at all.
Ever since a girl told me that a nicely and subtly scented chap was A Good Thing when I was in my teens, I've worn some about 3 days in every seven (I have a very slow-growing beard so only shave every two/three days, by the end of which I'm mildly stubbly).
Right now I have Clinique Happy, Acqua di Parma and Molton Brown black pepper cologne in the bathroom cupboard. I give it four small sprays: enough to be present, nowhere near enough to be overpowering.
Same reason
A girl I was very fond of once remarked how nice I always seemed to smell. I'm reasonably sure all she could whiff was my usual oxter spray of Right Guard but since then I've made sure I have something 'special' on the chest of drawers ready for action.
CK One is currently in favour. Sister in law bought me a (tiny) bottle of Hugo Boss last christmas and that proved very popular around the hairy bits.
Black Pepper cologne? Oh yum!
My other half had the shower gel last year & it really suited him; pleased to discover that there's an aftershave equivalent, it's gorge.
I love that stuff.
There's a whole range, including moisturiser and a deodorant stick. I bloody love their stuff.
I don't understand
why all these people with thick heavy beards are talking about aftershave.
You are Word readers, right?
Indeed
But they haven't said what they're shaving.
I'm told it's called the first degree
or BSc (back,sack & crack)
Real men doing manly stuff in tiny shorts.
I like
Cologne by Thierry mugler.
A lass writes...
...I do like a man wearing a bit of scent, myself. Too much is horrible, but a smelling nice is well, nice.
As for me, I feel naked without perfume and wear it every day. As Coco Chanel said, "a woman who doesn't wear perfume has no future"*
*I don't really understand what this means, but it sounds suitably deep and French and pro-perfume,
Coco Chanel also said..
"A woman should wear perfume wherever she wants to be kissed"
This also sounds particularly French.
And is also why I assumed for some time that French blokes use Chanel No5 as a mouthwash.
Coco Chanel
also collaborated with the Nazis, so I'm going to give her a wide berth.
Another lass speaks
I go a bit *wibbly* around a nice smelling gentleman. There are few things lovelier than a hug with a man who smells great. (Not just aftershave, natural manly smells also appreciated)
as for me, I wear perfume everyday. I don't feel right without it.
(PS JoLean! Did I tell you, I nicked my current smell from you? after I borrowed your perfume the other month, I loved it so much I went and got my own bottle)
Oooh....
...I can't recall you borrowing my perfume, was it the Issey Miyake? How nice!
It was!
I now smell so good even I want to snog me.
Get to
the back of the queue......
Moustache
Saw this out of the corner of my eye in a French parfumerie.
And then there's this
I love a bit of scent, me.
I like a dab of something nice, on occasion.
Caron Pour Homme for top nights out
Jo Malone 154 for smart work stuff
Miller Harris - something about a forest, all woody and bosky for unpredictable moments
On a recent trip...
...through Paris, we discovered one of those specialist shops that only seem to exist in Paris, which sold a wonderful array of shaving brushes, "proper" razors and a number of aftershaves which I'd assumed had vanished forever, including Tabac. This was hardly an upmarket aftershave when it was around here but now seems to have gravitated towards the reassuringly expensive
Oh Massivers, I've enjoyed this thread so much
that I've put together the duco01 Ten Favourite Scents (for Men) of All Time. Hope you'll indulge me...
1. Timbuktu by L'Artisan Parfumeur
2. Carnal Flower by Frédéric Malle (warning: pricey)
3. Incense Jaisalmer by Comme des Garcons (Series 3)
4. L'Homme Sage by Divine
5. Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens
6. New York by Nicolaï
7. Accord Oud by Byredo
8. L'Air du Désert Marocain by Tauer
9. Blenheim Bouquet by Penhaligons
10.Terre de Bois by Miller Harris
Favourite perfume shop in the whole world: Les Senteurs near Sloane Square/Victoria, London. Simply an incredible place.
Massive Men! Squirt any of these 10 scents about your personage, and I guarantee that ... erm ... you'll smell reasonably nice. And ladies will be purring in appreciation. Probably.
scentsimilar!
duco01 we have some common favourites there. Miller Harris's Terre de Bois was what I was trying to remember in my earlier post and Blenheim Bouquet is an old trusty, although for me, Quercus has the edge. Splendid stuff!
sounds a bit ...
...Blenheim Bouquet got a flyer and was first to show and as they settle in it’s Ambre Sultan followed by Carnal Flower with Terre de Bois coming up on the inside...
I went to Les Senteurs a couple of years ago and got some Duc de Vervins by Houbigant. Pricey and highly recommended to me but I just .... don't like it.
Interesting.
That could also be a top ten of avant-garde jazz albums.
Yes indeed
Some of the playing on "L'air du désert marocain" certainly is 'out there'.
L'air du désert marocain
I lie. That's by Tinariwen isn't it?
I actually believed you up to no7...
...which was a Doctor Who episode from 2008. Then I looked closer at the titles and I reckon Carnal Flower was a special edition of Oz magazine in autumn 1969 (edited by Jonathan Aitken and Germaine Greer); Ambre Sultan is actually a brand of suntan lotion sold by Superdrug; Blenheim Bouquet is a floral-patterned wallpaper from Osborne & Little.
I've not got the others yet, but soon ...
I love the smell of testosterone in the morning
or indeed any time of day, so long as it's off the right man. (Bit like the visuals - that's one of the biggest differences between the genders IMHO, men generally pretty happy to catch a glimpse of random bits of female erogenous zone whether or not they're interested in the individual, women very considerably less so.)
maybe I should
dust off that 'George Cooney' scratch n' sniff card idea I filed away ...
Itchy and Scratchy
Scratch and sniff are both words you really don't want to hear in any sort of even mildly erotic context. Actually really in most contexts.
Retro aftershaves: Jazz
That reminds me of such... fun!
I like to wear Bodyshop's Coconut oil as well as Clinique Happy, DKNY Be Delicious & Harajuku Love.
Nothing smells better...
...than a woman, fresh out of the shower, still slightly damp.
Mmmmmm.
"Lonestar Memories" - avoid at all costs
I thought I might throw in a brief comment about the most unpleasant scent I've ever whiffed. It's "Lonestar Memories" by Tauer. Here's part of the 'official' description of it on the Tauer website:
"The scent of a lonesome rider, wearing old jeans and leather jacket, after a long day on the horse in the dry woods, preparing his coffee on the open, smoky fire."
Not exactly a promising start, is it? A pungent old leather jacket? But it doesn't prepare you for the full horror of the 'scent' in real life. I can only say that it's like opening up a rather old package of smoked salmon and then smearing all over your body, rubbing it well in. I put about one microgram of "Lonestar Memories" on my wrist, and I STANK to high heaven for about five days. Nobody would come near me. Yeuch.
Is that really the marketing copy?
It conjures up the 'beans, farting' scene from Blazing Saddles.
I mentioned a ladies fragrance which drives me crazy with desire whenever I smell it, and as I recall, when I first smelt it at the time I remember thinking it was disgusting, like amonia or wet nappies. I thought how could anybody wear that stuff.
These companies know what they're doing.
What the bloody hell's going on here?!
I'm away for a few weeks and everything goes fruity! A man should wipe himself with the thick woollen underpants he wore the day (and night) before, and stand in a bucket to shower his gentleman's region, applying a thick lather of carbolic as and when required (plus Christmas). Now THAT gets heads turning!
*swoons*
I've come over a bit giddy now and need to lie down.