Entertainment For Lively Minds
Eamonn Holmes - a weighty issue?
Posted by peterthecook on 19 July 2010 - 12:16pm.
According to today's news stories, Eamonn Holmes has contacted the BBC to complain about John Culshaw's impressions of him.
The main issue seems to be the repeated jibes about Holmes' weight - to the extent that he has his lawyers involved.
I'd be interested to hear what people think of this: is he being humourless, or is he making a stand?
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I have never really noticed any jibes from Mr Culshaw...
... about Mr Holmes weight. I will definately keep my ears open now though!
I don't know
A joke's a joke, but I think Culshaw's stretching it a bit far now. I think it's time to put it out to pasture as it's lost its punch; it's tired now, and something of a cliche.
I'd be more than happy to put...
...Culshaw out to pasture, full stop. He's good at voices, but he's entirely unfunny. And a few people I know who have had experience of working with him have said that he's an utter, utter twunt, as well.
Speaking as a member of the "irresistibly cuddly" community, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the occasional tease about your weight, especially if you're in the public eye. People are like that. But if one person keeps needling you constantly about it, I can see it getting pretty wearing.
FWIW, I really like old Eamonn. He strikes me as a thoroughly nice chap, and not one whit less funny, warm, intelligent or good-humoured for being a trifle on the salad-dodging side. We Tommy Tuckers are generally fully aware that we could stand to lose a pound or forty, and having it pointed out to us beyond a certain number of times is just mean-spirited.
"He's good at voices, but he's entirely unfunny"
I think you're spot on there. Being good and voices and being funny are two separate disciplines and I think if you looked at the Venn diagram of those skills, you'd find a fair bit of tumbleweed blowing through the intersection.
Culshaw, McGowan, Ancona et al might all be very good at impersonating people, but that doesn't mean they automatically qualify for a prime-time half-hour sketch show
I liked Dead Ringers a lot
but he could really do with some stronger scripts to work with.
And of course, Blair quitting didn't help him either, because that really did nail Blair; there was a wonderful kind of meta-impression going on, with all the cued contrived gestures, which pretty much must have been what was going through Tony's head as he spoke.
Never watched a lot of Eamonn, but quite liked him doing stuff on 5live from time to time.
Ancona
Very good actress. Not a comedian though.
In total agreement/disagreement with you
I thoroughly second your point about Jon Culshaw, living proof that good impressionists without good jokes are simply annoying people speaking in annoying voices.
On the other hand, I couldn't disagree more about Eamonn Holmes. I don't know the man, I've never met the man, I've never met anyone who has ever met him. But for some reason, I have an irrational, baseless dislike of the auld fella. I am absolutely convinced, with absolutely no evidence to back me up, that he is a tyrannical egomaniac who is hated by all his colleagues for his narcissism and power-crazed paranoia. Far from finding him cuddly, witty and warm, I find him cold, insincere, and patronising. Like the Armstrong & Miller sketches, I always imagine him saying a friendly goodbye to his TV or radio guests, then picking up a phone, narrowing his eyes, and barking out: "Kiiiiillllll them!"
With regards to the weight issue, I think a bit of good-natured ribbing about carrying a few pounds is perfectly acceptable, but like any kind of humour there is always the danger of it spilling over into bullying and abuse. Being a big biffa myself I'd like to think that I can take my fair share of fat jokes. Anyway, I'm usually too busy eating cake to take offence.
The puzzling thing about Eamonn Holmes.
If that talentless turd can manage to carve out a career in TV for about a quarter of a century then there's something seriously wrong with the world.
He's actually a very nice man
And I think he really tries to keep his weight under control. But as we all know, it's difficult. Being fat and in the public eye is even more difficult.
But I think as upsetting as it might be, Eamonn should ignore Jon Culshaw. Everyone else does. All his impressions sound the same.
Culshaw
has two good impressions - Maximus and Tom Baker. With the others, he commits the cardinal error of announcing/explaining who it is he's 'doing', which shouldn't be necessary if you're any good.
That's eaxctly what I thought
About "Dead Ringers".
If you have to say "Hello I'm (celeb name)" at the start of your impression, then it's probably not a very good one.
and of sounding like
Culshaw of course. He's a man of a thousand voices and all of them exactly the same. The Mike Yarwood of his generation.
More than two good impressions.
His Frank Bruno's good as well. Most of the rest just sound like John Culshaw doing a funny voice.
Culshaw is shite
As said above, humour-free scripts.
And this could be his Clive-Anderson-slags-The-Bee-Gees moment. ie the public acceptance that the hunted is MILES better at what they do than the hunter is at what he does.
Making a bad impression
Impressionists always fail when they start going on panel games and chat shows and find it necessary to keep doing impressions, in order to remind you what they do. Culshaw is better as audio only. Visually his slightly odd face and strange hair are too distracting. This is made worse when he adds make-up, padding and wigs, all of which make his characters look like Culshaw viewed at various stages in some kind of desparate reconstructive surgery intended to make him look normal. And still failing.
Eamonn Holmes? Poor man's Terry Wogan.
I can't help but think
he'd be better advised to let it slide, however upsetting and/or boring he finds it. Making a fuss about it a) only emphasises the point; and b) makes him look like a humourless sleb whose trying to use his position to control his image. He's probably interviewed a few to many other slebs who stipulate what questions are in and out of bounds: it's rubbed off on him now.
A pair of humourless minor celebrities
arguing humourlessly about a humourless subject.
All Impressionists are rubbish
apart from the two voices that they can do really well. All their others tend to sound like your mate doing his party piece.So how do you stretch two really good impressions into a credible half hour entertainmant show? Well, you don't.
I love Eamonn
Purely because he put that horrid screeching permasmiling harridan Anthea Turner firmly in her place.
Top man.
For the same reason...
...I've always thought him a bully and a boor.
I hate impressionists...
...they are *never* funny, and remind me of the not-very funny boys (not always, but usually, let's face it) who insisted on doing Frank Spencer/Frank Bruno/Chris Eubank/Brian Clough in lessons. They were the same people who thought twanging my bra strap repeatedly would amuse rather than irritate me.
I can't understand why someone as savvy as Eamonn Holmes would bother doing this: I haven't watched Jon Culshaw (along with the vast majority of the public) and wouldn't never have heard of or seen this gag. Now I, along with hundreds of thousands of other people, have.
When will these people learn?
...
I'm actually really, really sorry about that.
Mmmmm Betty... D'you know whatimean 'Arry?
Twang.
(Christ, I'm funny...)
Now listen here, young man
I would jutht like to thay I have lotht a lot of rethpect for you.
Coat.
Eamonn Holmes...
.. is a bad, bad blert.
I didn't know
Eamonn Holmes was precious about his stature.
But I do now.
As do a lot of comedians.
Eamonn Holmes
has shot himself firmly in the foot with this the floodgates are now open. I don't like impressionists, I do voices badly and the wife and kids just get embarrassed for me that's how I feel about Culshaw and Co.
Having said all that there is something quite funny about Culshaws "Eamonn Holmes" eating the set of GMTV thinking the sofa, table etc are cakes. Silly, childish and only funny the first or second time but funny none the less.
As if to illustrate my first point take a look at the comments placed today on this Youtube clip. You really should have kept quiet Eamonn and no-one would have bothered or remembered these sketches
Eamonn Holmes
always looks and sounds inordinately - and not a little bewilderingly - pleased with himself. He also is one of those who like to dish it out but don't like to be dished - except when giving full justice to those dishes arrayed on the desert trolley.
Jon Culshaw's best impersonation seems to be Jon Culshaw as I find his celebrity renditions pretty indistinguishable and undistinguished.
Had EH had the good sense and good grace to not draw attention to this sketch then it would not become the "news" story it has.
The fact that it has become a "news" story tells its own sad story.
Just thinking..
Has anyone ever seen Eammon Holmes and Alan Green in the same room?
He doesn't strike me...
...as a man with any talent or personality whatsoever. Which probably makes him absolutely perfect for a comfortably rewarded career in 21st Century minor celebrity. (I'm talking about Holmes, by the way; I suppose it might as easily be said of Culshaw though...)