now

Once you've finished getting off on my land that is...

She's a minx isn't she?

'The filming, which saw the California King Bed hitmaker strip off her baggy jans and checked shirt to reveal a bikini made out of red handkerchiefs, took place close to a busy dual carriageway.'

She doesn't do it for be to he honest, plus she sings out of her nose and arse.

Her trying to sell a record without getting her kit off? Unthinkable.

"Right love, don't forget we've got that Rihanna doing her video in the field, don't be surprised if she's showing a bit of skin, she does that apparently. I'm off to Bangor..."

...he wouldn't let the combine harvester!

...Northern Irish farmer was fetching his tractor?
And so would I if I had seen it.
One for Roger's Profanisaurus methinks!
Farmer Palmer: "Gerrof ma land".

Ver Clash could have told her that it was doomed to disaster. I suppose at least she wasn't wearing 'pop star army fatigues' at the time, which is something.

"The 23-year-old, who added a pair of raunchy hold-ups to her dungarees ensemble, didn't appear too bothered by the crowd"

Those aren't hold-ups. She's wearing suspenders.

Sometimes I despair at modern journalistic standards.