And speaking of my colon! I want you to know
I don't automatically wash my hands every time
I go to the bathroom! OK?
Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do,
sometimes I don't!
You know when I wash my hands?
When I shit on them!
That's the only time!
And you know how often that happens?

Tops! Tops! Two, three times a week! Tops!
Maybe a little more frequently over
the holidays, you know what I mean?
And I'll tell you something else,
my well-scrubbed friends...
You don't always need a shower every day!
Did you know that? It's overkill!
Unless you work out! Or work outdoors...
...or for some reason come in intimate contact
with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day...

...you don't always need a shower! All you really
need to do is to wash the four key areas!
Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth! Got that?
Armpits, asshole, crotch and teeth!
In fact, you can save yourself a lot of time if you
simply use the same brush on all four areas!
Thank you!