at a GWAR gig. But this might not quite fit your idea of "saucy". I'm not sure it does mine either.

This has never ever happened to me. Ever.

My best mate Jo still talks fondly about a Prince gig that she swears got every female member of the audience pregnant.

The Smiths in 1983. That kind of boy on band idolatry that is beyond sexual. Again not sure saucy is the right word but something in me moved.

Saw them in Southsea ~95 and the women in the anarchy loving popsters shunned the oppressive clothing that downtrodden women wear under tight tops, and just wore the tight tops.

I'm not sure if it was that or the music, but I've since got all their albums and I'm off to see them again tomorrow in a small pub in Pompey. If you only know the hit, they are worth chcking out - quite folky these days...

I was 22. Turned up to the venue in a pink feather boa which I got to drape around his neck when he went walkabouts down the front with his Les Paul and flailing dreads. This was around the time of 'Are You Gonna Go My Way' and I thought he had the coolest band ever - the 'son of Noel Redding' guitarist with the 'fro, the bassist who could have toured with Alice Cooper in an alternative universe and that bad-ass female drummer.

I still LOVE this, and the album it came from. LK at the top of his game, in every respect ;-p.

Are You Gonna Go My Way - Lenny Kravitz

In her review of Daddy Wainwrights gig at Milton Keynes Drakeygirl commented on the idiosyncratic facial expressions and strange body movements that he uses. Daughter Martha does the same and I was honoured to have a front row view of her erotic gyrating in a rather short dress. I am happy to report her gusset was exactly where it should have been and not on some unsuspecting Ambulance mans head. I distinctly remember the stirring in the nether regions.

My first gig, where I was probably expecting saucy stirrings, actually had the opposite effect. It was like showering in bromide, if I'm honest.
It was Spandau Ballet (I know, I know). I was 13. My big brother had bought tickets for his girlfriend, but she was ill, so he said he'd take me, because he knew I fancied them.
After a couple of minutes of Tony Hadley prancing about and braying the chorus to Gold I had an epiphany. "They 're really rather idiotic, aren't they?" I thought to myself. And then Tone slipped and fell on his arse, confirming my suspicions.
Next gig? The Pogues on St Patrick's Night. No stirrings for Shane (I'm not that weird), but my next gig. Dr Feelgood, and specifically the spectacular sight of Lee Brilleaux belting out Canvey Island blues, was an absolute turn-on. (Yes, I am that weird).

I've never gazed up at the stage and thought anything saucy. I have often taken a sneaky glance at a girl'friend' watching the same act with me and quietly thought about what my chances were for that evening ..

and saddest of all one of the pricks from the band ... no names ... BEZ .. persuaded my date to follow him to an after gig party without me Grrrrr.

I blame the scnapps.

I worked at that gig. Backstage security.Front of house were offered way more money and there was a load of big blokes Saying "I ain't going out there,they'll eat us alive". They were alright blokes were Bros.

The Top Hat in Dun Laoghaire, Dublin, sometime in probably 1986. After an hour of 'aren't we fabulous, and funny too' cod-busking mediocrity from the uncharismatic lead men, Maria Doyle "Kennedy" (you may know her as Queen Isabella from the Tudors) wafts unsteadily through the dry ice and proceeds to blow the roof off, just like she does in the Commitments, come to think of it.

Never seen anything so fabulous, before or since.

And her leather trousers at the Glasgow Apollo touring the second Pretenders album. Whilst not a conventional beauty, she just oozed sex appeal. Bad Boys Get Spanked indeed!

Oh. Em. Gee. The first time I saw the video for, I think, "Jesus Says" by Ash I squeaked "Kinell, they've only gone and got a girl guitarist!" (I used a lot more alliteration in those days). "And she's FIT!" I was right, too.

A few years later, after her and the cheeky Norns had parted company, I went to a solo show of hers at ULU. And just stood there in a puddle of depleted pheromones for the entire night with a faraway expression on my face.

(I also met Simon Pegg that night. Fortunately, unlike La Hatherley he didn't give me what Derek and Clive would've called THE FACKIN ORN, but he was very nice. And tiny.)

Oh, since I'm here, anyone remember those pictures of Sophie B. Hawkins absolutely bollocky nekkid in an early 90s Q? I was about 14, and consequently blind for weeks.

I've gone on about it before. I'm not going to do so again. It makes me come over all funny.

And when I saw Lone Justice at The International in Manchester, must've been about 1988, Maria McKee was giving me the Glad Eye. She bloody was, too. My mate Roddy noticed it as well.

Even if it's not her natural colour *winks*

Tori Amos. In concert at Manchester's Free Trade Hall, with me in the middle about the second row. I swear she sang every song to me and flashed her saucy grin in my direction more than once. Naturally I went backstage for a hug and autograph and kept slipping to the back of the queue so she would have more time to pose for a photograph with me. Modesty forbids me to post it (christ why did I wear THAT shirt...).

I think she signed my ticket and I offered the portion with my address in case she wanted to write and keep in touch. She thought about it but sadly declined. Her loss. We never met again but I'm sure she thinks about me. Especially when she renews the restraining order.

...a good heart in those days was hard to find.

Went to see Guitar Hero Tom Verlaine and Television do a viscerating performance of new album Marquee moon at Newcastle City Hall, only for support band, Blondie, to totally ruin it. Debbie came on, with black cloak, shades, and beret on, only to whip the beret and cloak off to reveal a red leather mini dress and thigh high boots...phwoarrrr! 2,000 Geordie guitar fans lost it completely and stormed down to the front in seconds. A legend was born! Bugger Verlaine and his noodling, tweedling nonsense.

I have been to many gigs and have never had such feelings - but I have seen it happen.

In my 20s, I saw INXS with a friend of mine, who brought his young teenage sister and friend along. The girls were frosty and aloof in the car on the way, determined not display excitement. "Actually, I only like The Doors", one of them said in sing-song response to our lame, sounding-like-an-old-uncle-already questions what music they like.

Michael Hutchence was a superb frontman. After only a few minutes into the show, I looked at the girls and they were already drenched in sweat, makeup streaming, and shouting themselves hoarse with lusty statements of intent re Michael. This continued throughout the show -and they weren't the only ones by any means.

Car journey home. Did they enjoy it? (sniff, shrug) "It was all right"..."some of it was OK..."

I saw her in the 80s doing this song, I think it was just post-rehab for her, but she was still strutting and sassy and sexy and - well, I love a girl who plays guitar like she does. And sings songs where I think pathetically "well, come round to my place for a cup of tea".

The Riverside in Newcastle for the Peggy Suicide gig. I swear my female companions would have had his children if they could. I thought it was great, but not that good....

If Jenny Lewis ever finishes with Johnny, can I be put "interested" list?

......it's 1995 - the 12 year old me is sat watching the Glastonbury coverage & on she walks wearing THAT pink cat suit! I had to pole-vault to the bathroom for a cold shower! Blimey - she certainly made an impression!
I have just got tickets to see her at the Albert Hall - i'm not expecting her to wear it!

Leonard Cohen certainly has an aura about him on stage - each time I have seen him every man, woman & other in the audience has been under his spell. Its not hard to see how he was a player!

I fell in love with her the moment I saw her smiling out of the Melody Maker in about 1987, so when Throwing Muses played Liverpool Poly in '88 I was there like a shot.

A packed, hot and sweaty gig, the mosh-pit extended almost to the back of the room and the Muses were mighty. But at one particular moment, as a song paused momentarily, Tanya glanced up and looked me straight in the eye with an expression that said "I want you!"

At least that's how I interpreted it - she was probably thinking "sweaty bastard!"

A magic moment, nonetheless.

She was so beautiful that I just wanted to cry, or write poetry or something. I certainly needed a couple of Brandy Alexanders after the gig, anyway.

I saw Belly yonks ago in King Tuts Wah Wah Hut. I dimly recall spending the evening gazing at her like some smitten 13 year old (I must have been at least 19) wondering why Glasgow had no women whatsoever who were that beautiful and who played guitar. Man, I had it bad.

The only other act I saw who made an audience go all sexual? Jeff Buckley.

I saw him at the Garage in Glasgow. An alright venue which turns into a dodgy meat market disco after gigs. He was this impossibly handsome man who pretty much had the entire room spellbound. The moment I remember was when he was between songs and he said "What are we doing next?" to one of his band and a women yelled "SING ANYTHING!"

If he didn't get deviant, multiple partnered sexual intercourse after that show, the world truly is a cruel and unjust place.

Or Tracy Tracy, lead singer of The Primatives to be precise. I stood 3 yards away from her, slack jawed and eyes popping out of my head to the point where I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd called the police.

Unfortunately this wasn't 1988 but 2011 and I am 44 years old.

In my defence I do love her very very much, to the point where I'd even buy her a half of lager and lime first.

All it took was a few shakes of her tambourine, and I fell in love with Patti Scialfa.

sadly this is not a euphemism.

When me and jimmyshoes of this parish went to see Later... I very nearly got a full-on robot chubby for Anna Calvi. She's a bit scary, but in that good way.

I watched Shakira at Glastonbury last year. No one would watch her with me, so I thought I might as well go down the front. Lovely Shakira.
(I do really like SheWolf too!)

Going back earlier, I was always pro-Kylie and the video for Put Yourself In My Place was quite something.

in a South Kensington pub (the Knaresborough Arms) circa 1990. Was with a group of what I can only assume were record company acolytes - telling all and sundry about her antics with The Go-Go's knowing full well the effect this was having on the couple of young 20 year old lads. The minx

Hardly the first female musician than got my attention, but seeing Garbage in 1996(?) was a... er... defining moment. Staggeringly impressive stage presence - she reminded me of a boxer getting ready to let it rip. I'm sure we had a 'moment' towards the end of the gig, which left me thinking, "she'd eat me alive". A great way to go.

in 1977 at Friar's, Aylesbury and stood, mouth wide open, in front of Tina Weymouth. She may not have been Debbie Harry but certainly had an aura and one hell of a funky bass player:

Mind you, I quite liked David Byrne too.

I thought I didn't have any gig moments for this.

I saw KT at the old Kashmir Club, an acoustic night that used to be on in Central London. As it turns out it was her first London gig, and she only played a couple of songs. She was a little different to what she does now, vocals were more sultry, there was more than a touch of Patti Smith about her voice back then. She did this little jazzy Patti Smith thing that was quite possibly one of the sexiest live things I've ever heard, I was practically melting in my seat. And then she sequed into Prince, Sexy MF. I nearly exploded.

Still one of the most memorable live gigs I've been to, and she was an unknown that I wasn't expecting to see. Lots of things happen like that I guess.

First date with Mrs. NigelT was Emmylou Harris at the Bristol Hippodrome in 1976. Somehow, we had front row seats - to this day she reminds me of how I was, apparently, in a complete trance like state and clearly lusting after the perfect Ms. Harris. I have said repeatedly over the years that I was there for the music, but she was (and is), of course, absolutely gorgeous. I still get remarks if I dare play a couple of her albums in a row....

Singing and prancing sensuously behind Kid Creole in around 82.

In one song, August insisted on audience participation whereby when he sang "Aaaah" the female audience members had to respond "oooh" and when he sang "oooh" the male audience members had to sing "aaaah". As ever, the girls were more enthusiastic than the fellas.

As was Darnell's way, this song meandered off somewhere else, there was a sax break, four or five verses of something else were sung, Coati Mundi rapped a bit and out of nowhere the Kid turned to the sashaying backing lovelies and asked, "What do you think about THAT, you Coconuts?"

As they chorused "oooooooooooooooooohhhhhh", EVERY male, down to the coolest, most-detached, cynical shrugmonster chorused as if programmed by reflex, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH" in a manner and at a volume I have only previously been told occurs at certain key points in "gentlemen's films".

After watching Polly Harvey do her thang at the Shepherds Bush Empire I was filled with lust. On the tube home I drunkenly explained at great length to my female friend about the fantasy I was currently having, which involved my wandering lost through a gloomy forest at night and being welcomed into a cottage by a naked Ms Harvey holding a black cat and offering me a flagon of ale. What the other passengers made of this I can only guess.

Portsmouth Pyramids, must have been 2002?

Yes oh yes. And the next time I saw them they featured the equally as ravishing Sarah Fox. One of those bands that meant so much during my teenage years that I would possibly sell a newborn (I don't have any of my own to sell, but still...) for them to reform, and finally release their third album. Oh yes.

But if it ever came to most beautiful musician, it would have to be the ever youthful Ms Hayes. Mmmmmm.

When I want sax I call for Candy.

And why not.

My first proper gig was the 1978 Reading Rock Festival mainly to see Patti Smith. I had studied the cover of "Horses" for months and had read scurrilous reports that the record company had asked her to air-brush our her upper lip 'tache...but she fought against it! When the chance came to see this feisty dame in the flesh I'm afraid the combination of warm Party 7 ale, patchoulie oil, puffs on a jazz "Woodbine" and seeing a topless lady in the crowd was too much of a heady mixture for this 15 year old and I haven't been the same since.

Peters & Lee, Pontins, sometime around the early-mid 70's..

I went backstage for an autograph after the show and got a kiss from the stunning Diane Lee.. She was still wearing her golden stage gown.. I floated out of that dressing room..

Nothin' was ever quite the same again..

Well.. not till a coupla years later when I saw Blondie.

But it wasn't Ms Walsh who captured my attentiuon. It was her elfin, blonde, stunning cellist with the most incredible name; Jocasta Whippy. I wanted to be her bit of rough.

But it wasn't Ms Walsh who captured my attentiuon. It was her elfin, blonde, stunning cellist with the most incredible name; Jocasta Whippy. I wanted to be her bit of rough.

And not only is she a fine cellist and very easy on the eye, but her dad makes great ice-cream!