It’s a cold December evening and I was bored, OK. So, in preparation for the time when they run out of celebrities and they they have to dredge the barrel down to the people who’s main successes in life have been “ enjoying themselves a bit” and “getting 3 children to their teenage years without stabbing old ladies for crack money”, I decided to think about my music choices for Desert Island Discs (how quaint that sounds nowadays).

I have often wondered how on earth anyone distills a lifetime’s love of music down to 8 tracks, so I decided to start by listing ALL tracks that were important to me. Not just stuff I really like, you understand, but those tracks that I know I would scream out for, the ones that I just can’t imagine never hearing again, the ones I could slap other people for not caring about enough. These MATTER(iTunes makes this much easier, by the way, if you have digitised everything you own).

The Rules :

1. I had to own it. If someone else gave it to me or I downloaded it, borrowed it and never gave it back etc. then, clearly, I don’t love it enough to include it.

2. I had to REALLY love the music – sentimental attachments on their own are not enough.

3. The scourge of all those “vote for your favourite No,1 of all time” charts where some dingbat with the attention span of a haddock votes for last week’s – nothing under 6 months old. even if I like it, it’s too early to tell.

4. Be ruthless – if there’s the slightest hesitation, it’s out.

Eight tracks is clearly nonsense. My interest was in what size the first cut would be. Wait for it…

264

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I know I could knock a handful off for various reasons, but 8 – forget it. I think that just about scuppers me and Kirsty ever cosying up a la Morrissey (that and a lack of any discernable talent, of course), but I can dream.