Ah, Spotify, it opens up whole new worlds. I realised the other day that I'd never really listened to much death metal, and at the click of a mouse there was a whole lot of it.

Slightly disappointed really; I was expecting to be a lot more scared, but you can't hear the words.

So I'm imagining a new genre in my head, involving tinkling pianos and clipped, precise vocal stylings a la Noel Coward, where the lyrics are all about raping horses or whatever it is that Slayer are bellowing about.

Or has it already been done?