Entertainment For Lively Minds
Danny Baker's football Bohemian Rhapsody
Posted by Steve Hill on 17 December 2008 - 10:37am.
Further to David Hepworth's post on Danny Baker, here are the lyrics to a version of Bohemian Rhapsody he presented where the words are all the surnames of footballers past and present.
It really is genius, fair play.
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If the Twiss...
...is the Twiss I suspect he is, then I went to school with his elder brother who was a right *insert your own expletive* - as he always claimed to be a Liverpool supporter, I'd've loved to see the look on his face when his kid brother ended up trotting out for Manchester United...
It's the very same
The oracle that daren't be challenged (Wikipedia) has him as the only pro footballer named Twiss (I'm assuming you meant Michael). He can currently be seen turning out for Morecambe in League Two
A Weedgie Rhapsody
(To be sung in the voice of a Glasweigan ned)
Weegie rhapsody
Is this the real life? Is it the methodone?
Stuck in the Gorbals, two bob fur the telephone?
Open yer wine, an' talk wi' a whine like meeeee
Um just a weegie, gie us yer Buckie
Cos I'll chib yer pal, rip yer da, slash yer dug, ride yer ma!
Any way the Clyde flows, disnae really mater tae me.....tae me.
Haw maw, just chibbed some bam
Buckie bottle tae the heid
An noo the f**kin' b**stards deid!
Haw maw, um just oan parole
An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee...
Haw Maw, oohooh ooh
Never meant tae steal yer purse
But if I'm no fu' o' smack this time the morra'
Carry oot, Carry oot!
An we'll go oot on the batter!
Too late, the bailiff's here
Sends shivers doon ma spine
Gubbed 10 jellies just in time
Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go
Got to go and rip some w*nk fae up the scheme
Haw Maw, oohooh oooh
I'm a jakey bam I sometimes think I've never been washed at all
I see a little silhouetto of a bam
Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kergo?
Thunderbird, White Lightening, very very frightening to me!
Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair,
Twenty Mayfair and some skins
Magnifico oh oh oh oh!
I'm just a radge boy, nae body loves me
He's just a radge boy fae a radge family!
Spare us a pound for a wee cup o' tea?
Get tae f*ck, skanky slob, will ye get a job?
For f*cksake NO
I will not get a job
Get a job
For f*cksake I will not get a job
Get a job,
Will not get a job
Get a job
Will not get a job
no no no no no.....
Oh gonorrheoea! gonnorrhoea! gonnorhoea and the clap!
Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me?
For me, for meeee!
So you hink ye can slash me and pish in ma eye?
So ye hink ye can chib me an leave me tae die?
Haw bawbag, can't dae this tae me bawbag!
Just wait till I'm oot, just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!!
F*ck all really matters, anyone can see
F*ck all really matters.....
F*ck all really matter tae meeeeeee
Brilliant
...
Very, very...
good.
Footballer Bohemian Rhapsody/Fairytale Of New York