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Cultural Metrication

Rigid Digit's picture

Imperial measurements can no longer be used.

All imperial measurements must now be expressed as the metric equivalent.

The following must now be re-titled

Manic Street Preachers - 4st 7lbs => 28.6 kilograms
Tyrannosaurus Rex - One Inch Rock => 25.4mm Rock
Splodgenessabounds - 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please => 1.136 litres of Lager and a Packet of Crisps Please
Proclaimers - 500 Miles => 804.7 kilometres
Free - Tons Of Sobs => 1,016 kg of Sobs
De La Soul - 3 Feet High & Rising => 0.914 metres High & Rising

Thousand Yard Stare => 914.4 Metre Stare
Gallon Drunk => 4.54 litre Drunk

One Foot in The Grave => Approximately 30cm in the Grave
The Green Mile => The Green 1.6km
44 Inch Chest => 111.7cm Chest
The Whole Nine Yards => The Whole 8.33 metres

Gregory Peck => Gregory 9.09 litres
Garry Bushell => Garry 36.4 litres

6

Guys and Dolls

'I love you
45.13 litres'

Thanks for the guide to bushels and pecks digit

0
LastRoseofSummer | 5 June 2011 - 6:26pm

Old chestnut

but Simon Singh rewrites Mike Batt\ Katie Melua

"We are 12 billion light-years from the edge,
That's a guess,
No one can ever say it's true,
But I know that I will always be with you."

becomes

"We are 13.7 billion light-years from
the edge of the observable universe,
That's a good estimate with
well-defined error bars,
Scientists say it's true, but
acknowledge that it may be refined,
And with the available information, I predict that I will always be
with you"+

0
DogFacedBoy | 5 June 2011 - 6:45pm

The Who

I Can See For 1.6km

4
stimpy | 5 June 2011 - 7:10pm

The 17.5 cm single? Non merci!

Back Off Brussels!!!

2
STD | 5 June 2011 - 7:17pm

Paul Simon

Me And Julio Down By The School 0.914m

3
stimpy | 5 June 2011 - 8:01pm

Get On The Good 30.48 cm.

(Parts 1 & 2)

2
Bob | 5 June 2011 - 8:03pm

Gallows 5.03 Metres.

1
Bob | 5 June 2011 - 8:05pm

Oh very good :-)

0
stimpy | 5 June 2011 - 8:16pm

Anything by 5.03 Metres Stewart, come to that.

Sadly, I can't think of any songs or artists containing the word "perch".

0
Bob | 5 June 2011 - 8:19pm

The

Human 5.55600 kilometres

0
DogFacedBoy | 5 June 2011 - 8:30pm

Thats the sound of the men

working on the 20.1168 metre gang

I've been loving you 201(too).16800 metres now

1
DogFacedBoy | 5 June 2011 - 8:40pm

El1016.047 kilogram

John

1
policybloke1 | 5 June 2011 - 8:46pm

Um

Stone Roses - Full 1.83 metres Five
Fiddler's 3.552 ml - Day Trip to Bangor
Fatboy Slim - 40.91 litres in Heaven

0
milkybarnick | 5 June 2011 - 8:45pm

Shouldn't that be...

...6.35029kg Roses

4
Seamus | 5 June 2011 - 10:35pm

50.03 metre

Tudor

1
policybloke1 | 5 June 2011 - 8:45pm
stimpy | 5 June 2011 - 8:49pm

0.281168m Wray

0
stimpy | 5 June 2011 - 8:52pm

The revolution will not be decimalised

142.0653125 ml Scott Heron

Elsie 2.5p
MC 822.6m Jesus
5p Hope

0
Austin | 5 June 2011 - 9:26pm

The Pointer Sisters were looking for

a man with a Slow 10.16cm.

Some folks are easily pleased

4
Helena Handcart | 5 June 2011 - 10:12pm

Bonio and his mates

One of their finest..

With or Wi(0.0254mm)ut You

1
Lenny Law | 5 June 2011 - 11:00pm

Winnie L'Ourson

- well-known resident of the 40.4685642 hectare bois.

0
Helena Handcart | 5 June 2011 - 11:23pm

15.24m Queenie by PJ Harvey

321.868 More Kilometres by the Cowboy Junkies
My Vagina is 12.8747 Kilometres Wide by Storm Large

0
Glenbervie | 6 June 2011 - 3:28pm

Papua New £1.05 - The Future Sound Of London

12.874752 Kilometres High - The Byrds
20.1168 Metres Of Fools - Aretha Franklin
Vanishing 0.03514cm - Primal Scream

Anything by Kilometres Davis, 5p Dylan, Royal 25p Review, Steeleye 22.86cm, The (0.9144km)birds, or Russell Crowe's band, 9 Metres Or So Of Grunts.

0
Cadabra | 6 June 2011 - 12:23am

Folks

lives need to be obtained,I fear.(smiley thing)

0
thommo | 6 June 2011 - 1:24am

I think

you'll find that's a s1.609344ky thing

2
Helena Handcart | 6 June 2011 - 1:47am

Little Feat

Little 304.8 millimetars

(did you see what I did there)

0
Twangothan | 6 June 2011 - 9:00am

1p Lane

(D'oh)

0
stimpy | 6 June 2011 - 9:04am

I would walk...

...804,672,000 mm
And-ah I would walk 804,672,000 mm more...

1
Bob | 6 June 2011 - 9:13am

Suzanne Vega

37.722222222222222C

0
jimmyshoes01 | 6 June 2011 - 10:07am

Nick Drake

4.83 kilometres.

Jefferson Airplane - 966 metres in 10 Seconds

0
Carl Parker | 6 June 2011 - 12:54pm
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