I find that whole regional circuit thing really depressing, but people have to make a living and it's probably the only opportunity that many of those in 'the provinces' get to see people like this. They're usually pretty sold out aren't they?

Regional theatre's worse. Dried up old soap stars and Les Dennis appearing in No No Nanette at the Watermill, Newbury.

Yes I do live in London. Aren't I the lucky one.

He certainly didn't sell out the Monmouth date...

Some time ago, and it must have been 1997 now I come to think about it, I was in Lyme Regis where the tiny waterfront theatre was advertising 'The Summer of the Legends!' I think they were overselling it, as by far the most famous performer they had was Isla Sinclair.

Isla's poster showed her strolling through a field of sunflowers strumming an acoustic guitar and bore the shout-line, 'A pleasant voice and an engaging personality.' Sadly I was on a day trip and unable to experience this phenomenon in person.

It does have its moments though. I'm off to panto in Reading on New Years eve to see the mighty Justin Fletcher.

http://www.readingarts.com/thehexagon/pantomime/

mentioned one regional theatre he played had 'CJ from Eggheads' as the star of their panto.

When I lived in Brighton in the 90s, one year the local panto poster claimed that it starred "George 'Mr Sulu' Takei from 'Star Trek'!" It also had a picture of him from the 60s in the uniform.

I'm not sure how they managed to tie it in with Puss in Boots.

Rich Hall does a fantastic song/rant about the provincial towns he's done gigs in. I was laughing too much to remember anything except the rhyming of Bridgwater with 'your own daughter'.

('fraid I can't find it on YouTube)

Our local holiday camp used to attract just this sort of act, usually to a packed house/captive audience.

For anybody who had been to see any kind of spectacular big-city theatrical show, anywhere, ever, it was a thoroughly dispiriting experience. Tired acts well past their prime, and if the punters had felt like leaving the camp rather than suffering the free entertainment, I'm sure the performers would have been playing to an empty house.

A particular nadir included The Brotherhood of Man (with maybe one original member - who can tell?). Great reception for Save All Your Kisses. Absolute silence everywhere, arms-folded-total-disinterest-when-will-they-do-another-one-we-know for the rest of the show.

But the lowest point was "TV funnymen" Cannon and Ball. The simplest of jokes that a toddler would have considered a bit childish, and routines that you presumed were dead and buried 20 years ago. I'm sure we could hear the sound of the waves a mile away during some of the supposed punchlines. Just dire. We left before madness set in.

On the other hand, I can say that I saw Edwin Starr at the seaside. And, by God, he ROCKED. Thrilling, powerful, stuff. Talented band on the top of their game. The sort of show that you don't want to end. And the encore: War! Heeugh! Etc.

...were the Michael Caine Hitmakers really reduced to that end-of-career circuit before Madstock?!?

I generally agree with the broad point in the OP, but even only living half an hour from London something has got to be pretty special for me to go to London unless I'm already there. There's 20 quids' worth of train fare, tubes, times 2 if Mrs T comes, car parking or cab to station, massive ticket price, then a train load of drunken idiots eating those disgusting smelling pasties on the late train back. Frankly a stroll into town, a pint and a trip to my funky little local theatre is much more fun, or, pushing the boat out, 30 mins drive to The Stables at Wavendon. Bollocks to London.

were promoting a night at a local theatre in June entitled:

Legends of Weightwatchers

3 months on and I'm still giggling at the idea.

The Hawth, Crawley, 1991.

I went with my old man, It was actually a splendid evening. We even took Jaffa cakes to scoff during the show.

...aptly named, since it's the only full-sized theatre in Cornwall, is promising Shaking Stevens, on what is chillingly described as 'The 30th Anniversary Tour Phase II', then, next March, The Hollies, '50 Years On'.

I believe I've mentioned this before, but Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes Hitmakers Edison Lighthouse are still pounding round the working men's clubs and pubs of Cornwall. I'm tempted...

The OP saw a notice in the window of Greggs in CHESHAM? Nobody's from Chesham - including me - and I ACTUALLY AM from Chesham. Immortality at last for the incongrouous Bucks hotbed of non-conformist churches, ill-defined links with the origins of the civil war, Val Doonican's parish church, recidivist Aylesbury Brewery Company product consumers and now (sadly) a nouveau army of BMW commuters off to the M25.

Its very pretty in South Bucks but claustrophobic.

Edit - there is an ostrich farm on the Tring road. I hope this helps

and compared to its surrounding Thames Valley towns its nice, sleepy and friendly. But yes the walls are closing in

The Barron Knights. 'You should see my girl's reaction, when I give her some satisfaction.' Plus the Arthur Mullard lookalike.

Noddy Holder was in Slades Road, near Huddersfield, today, as part of his tour to promote British Sausage Week.

...anagramatizes as 'A Lo Address' and, indeed, as 'Ads Are Sold'.

Nothing too tawdry for Noddy, it seems.

that the posters have now been taken down and replaced with ones for a play called "Opening Night" and for funny lady Shappi Khorsandi. V boring

and from what I've seen - in her act.

...very good! :-D

Didn't Nigel Kennedy go through a phase when he announced he was changing his name to just KENNEDY?

Does anyone remember? Does anyone care?

..."yes" and "no" in that order. The man's a buffoon.