Caution - Contains Language
Posted by Gatz on 9 April 2008 - 7:58pm.
Occasionally on this board people will self-censor their posts, inserting asterisks or dashes into expletives. I'm sure I once saw a message with the disguised word ‘cr*p'. If you are one of these people look away now. Really, there's nothing for you here.
OK, they're gone. Those of us who think swearing is big and clever can read on. The question is this: what's the most swearingest song ever?
I'll start with a shortlist of -
3) Plaistow Patricia - Ian Dury
2) If You Don't Want to Fuck Me, Baby Fuck Off - Wayne County and the Electric Chairs
1) Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright
Go on - send your own nominations. Then go and wash your hands.
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'Why'd Ya Do It?'.
By Marianne Faithfull. No question.
Of course they fucking do
Most tunes by Crass contain impressive swearing. Bodies holds its own as well
So what you boring little ...
Anti Nowhere League were good at this game, check out So what. The Buzzcocks mini masterpiece Oh Shit, at 1.32, manages a naughty word, usually (but not) exclusively S**t on average every 3 seconds.
Any nominations for the most subtle use of swearing especially those that slipped thru' Radio One's radar? They managed to play the non radio version of Peaches on the lunchtime show in the early eighties - I nearly complained for the sheer hell of it!
Disgusted.
Turriff
Jackie Wilson....
... the great soul singer has an expletive ridden classic called "THINK TWICE [version X]". It's a duet with LaVerne Baker, with more rude words than an episode of The Sopranos. You gotta hear it to believe it.
It's on the cd collection SWEETEST FEELIN': The Very Best Of Jackie Wilson.
And you can hear it here
http://feaverish.com/music/Think%20Twice.mp3
Pretenders
"Precious" - "not me baby I'm too precious - fuck off" - it's not the number of swear words but rather the placement and timing that make it effective!
Neil Young
"Why do I keep fucking up?". Loses points for self-censoring on the sleeve, mind.
Ween
Ween's song Baby Bitch - "Fuck you, you stinking asshole".
Particularly effective as a catharsis song...
Ian Dury again
Fucking Ada
But I have a feeling the sweariest stuff is on the hardcore metal and rap which isn't likely to be in the radar of most Word readers (assuming we meet the profile below - I do, to an uncanny degree). So if you want the answer to this question find a young person and ask them.
Good game...
The Libertines have some top class swearing in What a Waster (great use of the C word), and I Get Along (espcially fabulous is the bit "I get along singing my song, People tell me I'm wrong.." the music stops and everyone shouts "Fuck 'em!"...I guess you had to be there)
Without doubt the current champion for imagination and originality in my mind is Amy Winehouse she has some great opening lines;
* Me and Mrs Jones "What kind of fuckery is this? You made me miss the Slick Rick gig"
* Addicted "Tell your boyfriend next time he's around,To buy his own weed and don't wear my shit down"
* Fuck Me Pumps "When you walk in the bar, you dressed like a star, Rockin' your Fuck me pumps"
Can't get away without a mention of the Jarvis Cocker's magnificent use of the C word in "Running the World".
"Don't wear my shit down"
I hate to come over all middle aged dad - but can someone please tell me what that means?
I got told off on here for quoting Plaistow Patricia.
Think on.
I wear my shit down...
...with a light emery cloth, medium grade is sufficient.
You get a lovely finish and it's proof that you can polish a turd*.
*See also the work of Nigel Godrich in relation to Paul McCartney.
Having got one's shit together
you really don't want anyone wearing it down do you...
Rage Against the Machine
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Fuck you I Won't Do What You Tell Me
Motherfuckerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Once played on pre watershed Radio One apparently.
Yep
it was played during the top forty rundown, on a sunday evening. By Mark Goodier, I think.
Pipe smoking dj to the stars
Bruno Brookes I recall.
Freakscene by Dinasour Jr contains the use of the word "fucked" in such a fucked way it's almost missed. The use of "fuck up" is notably clearer. And full marks to SnubTV's editing for pre-watershed broadcast, exchanging fuck for freak.
Snub
Blast First released a radio edit of that song - swapping 'freak' for 'fuck' where appropriate.
bad swapping of sweary words...
...the BBC's *edits* of both Repo Man and Midnight Run in the late 80's/early 90's. But I digress.
Ben Folds of use of the word "bastards" in Mr Jones Pt2 is really quite lovely and vicious. And then there's Bottle Of Smoke by teh Pogues:
Thanks and praises
Thanks to jesus
I bet on the bottle of smoke
I went to hell
And to the races
To bet on the bottle of smoke
The day being clear
The sky being bright
He came up on the left
Like a streak of light
Like a drunken fuck
On a saturday night
Up came the bottle of smoke
Twenty fucking five to one
Me gambling days are done
I bet on a horse called the bottle of smoke
And my horse won
Stewards inquiries
Swift and fiery
I had the bottle of smoke
Inquisitions and suppositions
I had the bottle of smoke
Fuck the stewards
A trip to lourdes
Might give the old fuckers
The power of sight
Screaming springers and stoppers
And call out coppers
But the money still gleams in my hand like a light
Bookies cursing
Cars reversing
I had the bottle of smoke
Glasses steaming
Vessels bursting
I had the bottle of smoke
Slip a fifty to the wife
And for each brat a crisp new five
To give me a break on a saturday night
When I had the bottle of smoke
Priests and maidens
Drunk as pagans
They had the bottle of smoke
Sins forgiven and celebrations
They had the bottle of smoke
Fuck the yanks
And drink their wives
The moon is clear
The sky is bright
Im happy as the horses shite
Up came the bottle of smoke
Bodies
Sex Pistols. Very fucking sweary.
Still hard to rival this
For variety, lack of repetition, and sincerity of delivery ....
.com/youtube_play.php?id=nH6bAMKA5fU&v=why%20d%20ya%20do%20it
Bloomin' heck!
How so very different from "As Tears Go By".
F**king brilliant...
'Broken English' is a great record. Love it.
Some more
Some pitiful examples of swearing:
Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)- WASP
Not Now John - Pink Floyd ('this album needs a single Roger')
Working Class Hero - John Lennon
Some good swearing:
Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane
Jump In The River - Sinead O'Connor/Karen Finley
Fuck The Police - NWA
Why hasn't anyone mentioned 'Bloody Well Right' yet?
Amateurs, all of them!!!
Now I know Millie Jackson is as mad as a box of frogs, but this and If You Could See Me Now allows her immortality!
Radiohead
aren't bad at deploying the occasional well-placed swear word. Of course, everyone knows "You're so fucking special", in "Creep", but I prefer "Dance you fucker, dance you fucker", in "A Wolf At The Door".
Then there's "lemme lemme fuck ya fuck ya" in The Stranglers' atrociously non-PC "Bring On The Nubiles". Nice.
Andy Partridge spells 'em out, but doesn't say them in XTC's ode to marriage on the rocks, "Your Dictionary": "F-U-C-K, is that how you spell friend in your dictionary? ... S-H-I-T, is that how you spelt me in your dictionary?". A personal favourite, that one, from the always-reliable Mr.P. (And if only you could get him on the podcast!).
Swearings all very well,
and I employ the words frequently, especially whilst driving, but the surprising use, especially out of the expected context, especially when sung by an ethereal wispy female singer is more effective than the grating repetition of effing and blinding. (Frustratingly, none come to mind right now, but I guess the Pretenders track mentioned above sort of fits that.) For more gratuitous and joyful use, may I commend Chumbawambas "Mouth full of shit", one of their simpler statements, initially applied to the tory PM of the day, then equally applicable to Blair.
Again for the contrast of cut glass and profanity, you can go little far wrong with Nina Gordons cover of "Straight out of Compton". Ben Folds does a nice singer-songwriterly version of "Bitches Ain't Shit" also
Ben Folds
As you say Retro, swearing packs more of a punch when it‘s out of context. So when that nice Ben Folds starts f-ing and blinding . . .
Folds Five ...
"Song for the Dumped"
So you wanted to take a break.
Slow it down some and have some space.
Well fuck you too.
Give me my money back.
Give me my money back, you bitch.
I want my money back.
And don't forget to give me back my black T-Shirt.
Sweary album title
Flux of Pink Indians released an album called (wait for it...)"The F***ing C***s treat us like pricks".
On the subject of swearing I remember wayching Rude Boy (I think that was the title....Clash movie?) and as my mother walked through the living room the main character said "F*** off, you piss taking c***". My mother went absolutely balistic. Mind you I was only 12 or 13 if i remember correctly.
EVIDENTLY CHICKEN TOWN
John Cooper Clarke's "Evidently Chicken Town".
Saw him do this years ago and it was both brilliant and hilarious
the fucking cops are fucking keen
to fucking keep it fucking clean
the fucking chief's a fucking swine
who fucking draws a fucking line
at fucking fun and fucking games
the fucking kids he fucking blames
are nowehere to be fucking found
anywhere in chicken town
the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don't make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town
the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town
the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town
the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town
the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town
the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town
The man's a near genius
If he wasn't such a lazy bastard he could be a proper one. "I've made a religion of indolence. I eat a third of a Mars bar a day to help me rest."
(Ah, and while we're at it, we should chalk JCC up under "sardonic" in the adjectival thread.)
Splat/twat
I still have the single of "Splat/twat" where there are two grooves in parallel, one with all the swaer words blanked out with sound effects. You never know which version you're going to get when you put down the stylus.
Like a nightclub in the morning
You're the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shithouse
You're clean round the bend.
etc. Brilliant.
Winner
It's perfect. Not a spare or superfluous one in there.
Wot, no "Bloody"
Is that a different version to the one on "Snap, Crackle and Bop"? In that version - the first he recorded - for every "fucking" in the above, read "bloody". With one exception, I think, where he says "bloody fucking Chickentown". I think you've got a fucking surplus there, mate.
Go to his website
Its on there as Fucking and when he performs it live its fucking. So thats fucking it as far as I can fucking see.
Well fuck me
So it is. Age has obviously not mellowed him, thank fuck.
Out
fucking Standing.
Hope he shows up at Glastonbury again.
Definately fucking
Just checked out the live version of Evidently Chickentown on the Control OST which starts from "the fucking pubs are fucking dull" line. No bloodys just fornication.
Evidently Got A PG Certificate Too
Christopher Eccleston recited it for the Danny Boyle television movie "Strumpet".
Band names
Some bands don't even wait until they get round to writing any songs before they start swearing.
There's Selfish Cunt, and the anatomically perplexing Anal Cunt. There's current indie kids Fuck Buttons and I once saw a support band called Swedish Fuck Monkeys. But my favourite has to be a band who played a little venue round my way a couple of years ago - Fuckingham Palace.
and of course
one of my current favourite bands, Holy Fuck (referred to consistently on 6Music as "Holy Eff").
And who can forget .....
.... some thrash outfit extant some 13 years ago who traded under the delightful moniker of Circle Of Shit. They changed their cognomen - or at least according to some character presenting 120 Minutes on MTV thence - to the more sales-friendly and radio-play-friendly Circle Of Sick, the sellout Quizzlings!
Mick n Keef's contribution
From that underrated classic - Goats Head Soup: Star Star
Baby, baby, I've been so sad since you've been gone
Way back to New York City
Where you do belong
Honey, I missed your two tongue kisses
Legs wrapped around me tight
If I ever get back to Fun City, girl
I'm gonna make you scream all night
Honey, honey, call me on the telephone
I know you're movin' out to Hollywood
With your can of tasty foam
All those beat up friends of mine
Got to get you in their books
And lead guitars and movie stars
Get their toes beneath your hook
Yeah! You're a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
Yeah, a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
A star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker star
Yeah, I heard about you Polaroid's
Now that's what I call obscene
Your tricks with fruit was kind a cute
I bet you keep your pussy clean
Honey, I miss your two tone kisses
Legs wrapped around me tight
If I ever get back to New York, girl
Gonna make you scream all night
Yeah! You're a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
Yeah, a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
A star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker star
Yeah, Ali McGraw got mad with you
For givin' head to Steve McQueen
Yeah, and me we made a pretty pair
Fallin' through the Silver Screen
Honey, I'm open to anything
I don't know where to draw the line
Yeah, I'm makin' bets that you gonna get
(You man) before he dies
(John Wayne)
Yeah! You're a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
Yeah, a star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star
A star fucker, star fucker, star fucker, star fucker star
Isn't this one about
Carley Simon ??
Yes...
It was rumoured to be about Carly Simon which would mean that 'You're so vain' sounds like an answer song but that was actually released a bit before GHS so maybe it was more likely about groupies in general.
Steve McQueen was apparently so amused by his line that he promised not to sue.
University Challenge
Popular Music Round, in Bamber days. They played a snatch(!) of one of the verses, and the question was, "What's the song called?".
Bamber winced, visibly, and on the faces of the members of the team that buzzed, various expressions were fleetingly apparent; gleeful amusement, disbelief, shock and fear. "Magdalen, Jones" (or whoever) was heard, then, "Star, Star?". Huge relief all round. Points awarded. World Saved, as they say.
The Police - Humanise Yourself
This was an album track and was the first time I heard C*%T on record. Something like:
"He's got his hands in the air with the other c**ts"
Was about the National Front I think.
Pottymouth Strikes Again
Swearing isn't inherently cool of course, but it certainly can be:
"Fuck Christmas" - Eric Idle ("Go tell the elves to fuck themselves...").
"Take Your Love And Shove It" - Joe Pecsi (and the rest of his album "Vincent Laguardia Gambini Sings For You").
"Stagger Lee" - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (contains a particular line adapted from an old blues song of which Cave was very proud: "I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get one fat boy's asshole").
"Cocksucker Blues" - Rolling Stones (but of course).
"Mind Of A Lunatic" - The Geto Boys (Not particularly sweary by gangsta standards, but possibly the most disgusting song of all time).
"Too Drunk To Fuck" - The Dead Kennedys.
"Cock In My Pocket" - Iggy Pop.
Cole Porter never came up with a chorus as beautiful as this:
"I got my cock in my pocket
And it's shovin' up through my pants
I got my cock in my pocket
And it's shovin' up through my pants
I just wanna fuck, baby,
This ain't no romance."
Forgive me, father...
Wasn't there a Dead Kennedys
Wasn't there a Dead Kennedys track simply entitled "Nazi Punks Fuck Off"? Incidentally, there's a great cover of "Too Drunk To Fuck" by Nouvelle Vague, rendered all the more shocking as its voiced by some breathy chantteuse to whom the English language might not exactly be at her exact command, all to a light jazzy tune!
Then there's a personal favourite of mine, Edinburgh's own premier voodoobeat seditionists The Nectarine No.9. They've an album called C*** (Sea With Three Stars), and have such tracks in their repertoire as "Just Another Fucked-Up Little Druggy On The Scene" and "This Arsehole's Been Burned Too Many Times Before".
Understatement always gets the best results
Country Joe and Warren Zevon
My mate Noddy had Country Joe's Fish Cheer playing. His mum heard the chant of gimme an F U CK what's that spell and the response and said' that doesn't spell fish!'.
Warren Zevon's song on Life'll Kill Ya isn't listed on the cover which jumps from track 8 to track 10. It's the best visit to the doctor song I know.
Well, I went to the doctor
I said, "I'm feeling kind of rough"
He said, "I'll break it to you, son (Warren sings, "Let me break it to you, son")
Your shit's fucked up."
I said, "my shit's fucked up?"
Well, I don't see how--"
He said, "The shit that used to work--
It won't work now."
I had a dream
Ah, shucks, oh, well
Now it's all fucked up
It's shot to hell
Yeah, yeah, my shit's fucked up
It has to happen to the best of us
The rich folks suffer like the rest of us
It'll happen to you
That amazing grace
Sort of passed you by
You wake up every day
And you start to cry
Yeah, you want to die
But you just can't quit
Let me break it on down:
It's the fucked up shit
Lucky bleeders, lucky bleeders!
Yes, swearing is big and it is clever, and 30 years ago it was even more so, as I used to sneak into the living room when my parents were out doing the shopping, putting the B side to Ian Dury's "Reasons to be cheerful" on the old man's crappy hifi, and snickering along with "There Ain't Half Been Some Clever Bastards" yuk-yuk-yuk!
The ****** Red Baron
On the other hand, the mildest thing I have heard being censored was the kids song "Snoopy Vs The Red Baron".
Whatever radio station I listened to at the time would bleep out the word "bloody" in the line "The bloody Red Baron of Germany."
Poor old Stewpot
Hastened his departure from Radio 2 by being unaware that there were two versions of The Beautiful South's Don't Marry Her and playing the profoundly Anglo Saxon one at teatime, albeit not in its entirety.
My fave bit of swearing, apart from the aforementioned Zevon track, is on The Streets' Dry Your Eyes, where his girlfriend has just ended things and he jabbers, 'I'm not gonna fucking just fucking end it all now' - just the sort of incoherent babble people come out with when in extremis.
Can't forget...
It's a motherfucker, Eels
and of course the mighty, 'the man don't give a fuck', super furry animals.
And Yeah Yeah Yeahs slipped through the Radio One censors' net with the track 'bang', containing the immortal line "as a fuck son, you suck".
fucking ace.
Evan Dando
Interviewed on Jonathan Ross Saturday morning show followed by the customary "radio friendly" song from the new album.
Obviously Wossy & the BBC censors only listened to the first verse of "My Idea" as "The experts wonder what the fuck to do" is at the end of the second verse. I listened waiting for the song to fade out before reaching it but it rang out as clear as a bell around 11am on Radio 2! Straight to news, no comment afterwards.
Honourable mention to "Cheer Up, You Miserable Fuck" by David Ford.
Jarvis Cocker's Finest Half Hour
Tucked away as a secret cut on the solo record (about 29 minutes after the last track), Jarvis' Running The World deserves an award for best use of the C-word:
Anthrax
Starting Up a Posse, begins as a nice little country and western ballad only to go bonkers and sink into a hail of profanity on the chorus. Nice.
sorry
I was having a moment
The Wildhearts
My favourite band of my youth pulled some brilliantly sweary titles out of the bag, including "Loveshit", "My Baby Is A Headfuck", "Thunderfuck", "Shut Your Fucking Mouth And Use Your Fucking Brain", "Greetings From Shitsville" and "...And The Bullshit Goes On". The last two were once featured on a limited edition coloured vinyl (brown, of course), which had a covershot of producer Simon Efemy crapping in a pitta bread. Lovely.
Super Furry Animals have already been given props for the obscene wonder that is "The Man Don't Give A Fuck", but I am rather enamoured with Gruff's delivery of the work 'clusterfuck' on "Slow Life". Some wonderful vowel extension.
John Lennon, he swears!
Someone mentioned Working Class Hero above. I had reason to think of that song after Barack Obama's recent comments about people in the USA clinging to religion and guns through bitterness.
"Keep you doped with religion sex and TV and you think you're so clever and classless and free, but you're all fucking peasants as far as I can see."
Has anyone mentioned "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails? It has the repeated lyric, "I want to to fuck you like an animal"
While I'm in a sweary mood, there was a band in Melbourne in the late 70's that cheered us all with the name "Thrush and the Cunts"
I don't know what you'd find if you googled that!
Oh, oh, theres a much more recent band called "The Fuck Fucks"
Pretty?
A bit surprised no one mentioned the `veiled` ones, such as Pretty Vay-caaant, the drawn out `lucky cuss` in the bad Captain`s `Happy Talk` which us 11 year olds always knew really ended with a sharp consonant rather than with a sibilant one, the "fookin` `ell" in Hey Jude (barrel is clean and scraped to a shine)
Favourite, however, is the unfussy "that cunt`s really got it sussed" in The Auteurs` `Upper Classes`, unless you count the shocking (for my seven year old ears) `fuck` and `shit` in The Goodies` "I Wish I Could Get High" off the bizarre, but consistent `Nothing To do with Us` album.
Nina Gordon
Nina Gordon does a lovely acoustic version of NWA's Straight outta Compton, which you can probably find floating around the web. Speaking of Rap covers, Ben Folds' cover of Dr Dre's 'Bitches aint shit' is excellent.
As I stated a few days ago..
......albeit without the video. Keep up.
(10/4/08)
Thanks for the proof of the motherfucking pudding tho' motherfucker.