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Car Crash Telly

Springer Bell's picture


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Dear.

God.

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David Hepworth | 22 October 2008 - 1:24pm

Speechless

but it's not telly is it? It is of no value to anyone.

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Leedsboy | 22 October 2008 - 1:29pm

Unbearable

I got two minutes in and had to stop watching.

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Fraser Lewry | 22 October 2008 - 1:32pm

Former

Atomic Kitten. Does anyone here actually remember her contribution to that group. When I saw them miming at a corporate gig she was certainly not involved then.

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Beany | 22 October 2008 - 1:44pm

She was in them

Literally up to the week Whole Again came out, and that was the tune that established the Kitten proper after a few less successful numbers. I know the video needed re-doing to include the next incumbent.

The basics:
She met that Brain from Westlife
got married to him
all went a bit shit
public slanging matches
tawdry cocaine allegations
won I'm A Celeb
Iceland
mystifyingly won 'Mum Of the Year'
started writing for OK!
"wrote a few books"
house burgled by masked gunmen
bankruptcy
boob jobs
You name it, Max Clifford has made an excuse up for it.

Not bad for a third of a band that hadn't even had a hit when she was in them. I vote we dig a large hole in the middle of nowhere and throw her in it

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lovelyian | 22 October 2008 - 1:55pm

Think you missed

The naughty home-made videos leaked onto the internet

(oh what a giveaway...)

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Beany | 22 October 2008 - 2:00pm

You should do more of these

Summarising a sleb in a dozen bullet points. It works well.

Go on. Have a go at Lindsay Lohan.

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David Hepworth | 22 October 2008 - 3:25pm

sleb

Now that's a good word I haven't heard before. And much more demeaning than celeb. Excellent.

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Springer Bell | 22 October 2008 - 3:28pm

Sleb

Not read this, then?

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

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Lucas Hare | 22 October 2008 - 9:40pm

Who hell she?

I've heard the name in dispatches - but is she an actress, singer, reality star? Sure ain't googling it - don't want that coming up in any file that Google keep on me...

On second thoughts - scrap that. Ignorance is bliss...

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Reno Dakota | 23 October 2008 - 9:34pm

Deputy likes dots

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Archie Valparaiso | 22 October 2008 - 3:43pm

Lindsay

Started acting at 3
Disney queen at 11
Freaky Friday
Mean Girls
Various film bits that amount to nothing
Li-Lo
Rehab
Jailed Dad ‘a bit nuts’
Rehab
Linked to several films
Rehab
Cancels these several films due to conflicting schedules
Possibly a lesbian as part of the 08 trend of ‘dating a Ronson’

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lovelyian | 22 October 2008 - 4:02pm

Terrific

And your next challenge is Richard and Judy

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David Hepworth | 22 October 2008 - 7:27pm

Richard & Judy

An Asda Tony Wilson for the news in your area
She introduced him to herself as his mummy
This Morning
Once asked Neil Tennant 'how the wife was'
Unique approach to champagne purchasing
Ali G
Judy supposedly likes a drink
Dress falls off on award show
Move to Channel 4
Book club
Now with Living

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lovelyian | 23 October 2008 - 11:45am

Didn't they

wipe her vocal from Whole Again before it was released?
There is absolutely no excuse for her to take up any more of our time, with the possible exception of the two minutes it will take to read her Obit.

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Mr Drayton | 22 October 2008 - 1:56pm

Am I the only one

that thinks she is refreshed in any way ?

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the mvps | 22 October 2008 - 2:01pm

She seemed very refreshed

and good on Philip Schofield for actually pointing it out.

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Simon Ford | 22 October 2008 - 2:03pm

this post is part of the paradox

no one here gives a monkey's for the pneumatic "refreshed" prawn ring peddler and yet she still gets discussed. Her whole "career" is maintained by people who should know better.

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Chris G | 22 October 2008 - 2:08pm

She needs help

She needs to get a proper job and she needs to get herself off the telly under her own steam double-quick.

This probably won't be the catalyst but in the next couple of years she's not gonna be 'Hello!' worthy anyway.

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Beezer | 22 October 2008 - 2:11pm

Thank goodness she has retained her......

.....salt of the earth, scouser common touch.....
I thought Iceland had gone bust, not Icelands bust to pot.

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Retropath2 | 22 October 2008 - 2:12pm

Car crash is right

I feel sorry for the kids. If this is Mum of the Year then I shall have to go and visit my nephew the monkey.
What on earth do they serve in the green room on morning telly?

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Chris Young | 22 October 2008 - 2:13pm

Harsh on Max Clifford...

... at least he's have had the sense to stop it before it started. The interview was done without his knowledge - and the 'quality' control on the product that is Kerry Katona was all down to her and her husband.

There seems to be no incentive for her to stop, since MTV seems to have complete control over her life, and the crazier she becomes - the more saleable an asset they have.

It's all a bit like a perverted Truman Show.

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Reno Dakota | 22 October 2008 - 3:59pm

Cilit Bang

wouldn't be harsh on Max Clifford.

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Fraser M | 22 October 2008 - 10:21pm

Ooh Mother!

That looks ever so rude if you don't have your contacts in.

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Beezer | 23 October 2008 - 3:36pm

Kerry Katona

Making Shaun Ryder sound like Stephen Fry by comparison. It's a tawdry achievement, but an achievement nevertheless.

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Pete Kavanagh | 22 October 2008 - 2:28pm

Shaun William Ryder

Even in his "fat years" after he spent all the reunion money, smacked Rowetta on a ferry, fell out with Bez and ran away from the taxman (again) Ryder was never this bad. If someone ever said "you don't seem right to me sitting here now" to him there would have been all-out war which, I'm sure, would have involved vomit, dirty words and accusations along the lines of "are you Man U you?".

She had the same excuse as Ryder though - "it's me medication" - so fair play to her.

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Hot Lunch | 23 October 2008 - 1:29pm

In one way you feel sorry for her

and in another you despise all that she and that world has to offer. The girl is obviously very sick and I must say I find watching anyone self destructing before my eyes quite upsetting, whether I know them or not.

I know she courts all of this exposure, I'm just sorry that no one is there to put it right and unfortunately I don't think anybody ever will. There is too much blood yet to be drawn and Reno Dakota is right, is is a bit like a perverted Truman Show.

The sad thing is that I know a girl who was her hairdresser and who said she was a very nice and generous girl (with very little education) who was just not prepared for life or anything her industry put in front of her. And who now thinks she is in charge of her life but is in fact now more exploited than ever.

Like lots of them confusing celebrity with success etc.

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Springer Bell | 22 October 2008 - 2:47pm

Wonder if

Her hubby ever said..

"Guess who had in the back of my cab..."

Sorry.

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Beany | 22 October 2008 - 3:01pm

Is there a TV producer left on earth...

...who would say 'sorry, we're not broadcasting this'?

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David Hepworth | 22 October 2008 - 3:26pm

Doesn't look like it

does it?

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Pat Carty | 22 October 2008 - 3:36pm

Maybe

In North Korea

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Fraser Lewry | 22 October 2008 - 3:39pm

The only way...

...I can still bear to watch clips of Kerry Katona is if I regard her as an experiment, by a cartel of gossip magazines and publicists, into extending the life of a C-list celebrity past its natural 15 minutes (the Warholian equivalent of three score years and ten).

Measured in celeb years her fame long ago entered the realm of false teeth and adult diapers. In a world where common sense and decency prevailed her ailing career would have been euthanised and she would have been allowed to fade public view with no further loss of dignity. Years later my young niece and nephew would ask me “What happened to Kerry Katona?” I would lie to them and say that Max Clifford had taken her to live on a nice farm somewhere.

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backwards7 | 22 October 2008 - 3:52pm

The death of Levi Stubbs

The death of Levi Stubbs gets just 6 comments
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/levi-stubbs-1936-2008

A wreck of a kid on some crap tv programme merits 25 comments.
Go figure.

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Southern River | 22 October 2008 - 3:44pm

Hold fire, lady

There were 3 separate strands on Levi between 17 and 20/10, admittedly garnering just over 30 between 'em.
And of course these 2 posts now "add" to Kerrys tally......

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Retropath2 | 22 October 2008 - 3:59pm

I'm still firing

I think it's a bit pathetic.

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Southern River | 22 October 2008 - 4:07pm

The point about all this is just that

It is pathetic. If you take Levi Stubbs for one, I doubt there is one person that reads The Word sho wouldn't acknowledge his greatness or his worth or his achievements. They may have played a tune instead of adding to the post. I did.

The point of all this apart from, all right the obvious voyeurism is how celebrity is so meaningless nowadays that a very minor mouthy sleb can guarantee themselves headlines, column inches and "telly" space and that a whole industry is built on feeding this to the frenzied hungry masses.

That and the fact that it is all very sad from a humanity point of view.

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Springer Bell | 22 October 2008 - 4:24pm

we can just boycott this stuff

I don't pick up free papers on the train, I don't subscribe to pop bitch or similar avoid ITV and the tabloids so other than the increasing coverage in the broadsheets and on the BBC I am low on celeb gossip. We could make a stand here and without reducing free speech have an agreement not to start posts about c-list types we know the people we talking about. That is until Peaches Geldof does a passable version of halieujah or Vernon kayes peoms about the loss of his nan brings anyone to tears .
We'll not be short of gossip with Van etc antics.
So who's in?

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Chris G | 22 October 2008 - 4:32pm

Unfortunately Chris

That's like meeting one of your mates on the street who mentions Victoria B and you say "I will discuss that subject no further". It's not real life and I assure you Mrs S will still read OK and Now and Heat and I dare say if its lying on the floor so might I.

I suppose that is hypocritical but its reality.

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Springer Bell | 22 October 2008 - 4:37pm

I'm glad this was posted

Otherwise I would probably have missed it. Didn't watch all of it, mind. And the rest was through splayed fingers. But it's Need To Know stuff, mainly for what it tells us about telly.

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David Hepworth | 22 October 2008 - 5:00pm

hell yeah

It's really easy. I've been doing this for years. I don't read those tube freesheets (London Sh*te etc); I don't listen to commercial radio and I rarely get around to watching much TV. Thus I am happily low on sleb gossip. I've little or no idea who any of them are and that suits me fine. Including Kerry Katona. Who she? I'd never heard of her till now!

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PhilC | 23 October 2008 - 1:06pm

Appalling...

...some of these celebrity mishaps raise an occasional cheap laugh but this doesn't, I couldn't take more than a few minutes of that to be honest. Shocking that it was ever broadcast in the first place, she's bad enough in the excerpts from that new MTV 'documentary' so surely that was some indication to ITV??

And yes, I never posted on the blog (I'd posted on other forums though) but I dug out a Four Tops best-of when I heard of Levi Stubbs' passing too.

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JJ (not verified) | 22 October 2008 - 5:01pm

Philip Schofield

Handled it well. Likeable chap him.

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kb | 22 October 2008 - 5:31pm

What It Tells Us About Telly

hardly new though, is it?

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Southern River | 22 October 2008 - 5:50pm

True up to a point

Oliver Reed had a pretty distinguished acting career meriting inclusion on a chat show. He had a significant talent. And this was a fairly random, unusual event for TV. Now these people without skills get a whole docusoap style series, the makers of whom hope will include a good dose of misery and despair.

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Sven Garlic | 22 October 2008 - 7:08pm

Danny Baker...

... has an interesting take on the Ollie 'incident', which is that it was all a put-on. I believe either he, or someone else, was in Mr Reed's dressing room shortly beforehand and he was as sober as a judge (well, possibly not quite, but certainly behaving normally).

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David Rothon | 22 October 2008 - 8:08pm

A Doctor Writes (well, not really)

She says she's on Chlorpromazine - 150mg I think.

Thats a pretty hefty doze of a major tranquilizer used to treat psychosis. In her case Bi-Polar Disorder. Side effects of which include muscular stiffness, in particular the jaw muscles, slurring, confusion and difficulty concentrating. Its entirely consistent with that drug for her to be experiencing side effects the following day.

I'm with Kerry here. Sticking mentally ill people on telly who are experiencing side effects of the horribly damaging medication often used to treat it then accusing them of alcoholism is pretty barbaric, bear baiting TV.

If anyone should be mocked and attacked here its not Kerry Katona.

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goatboyuk69 | 22 October 2008 - 9:42pm

A doctor writes

Chlorpromazine is indeed a major tranquiliser used, albeit less frequently these days, in the treatment of psychosis. I would suggest thet either she has an old fashioned psychiatrist, has proved resistant to newer, "cleaner" drugs and/or probably is far more than "merely" bi-polar. Bi-polar affective disorder is, it's true, a dreadful condition that can wreck the lives of those therewith, and their carers/families/loved ones. However, it has also become an "acceptable" condition to name drop, perhaps sometimes by those without any such diagnosis, in the same way as taking Prozac was deemed street credible a decade ago, simultaneously trivialising and downgrading the reality of mental illnesses, even if making it slightly more acceptable to admit to the reality thereof.
I suspect Kerry is far iller than we know, for reasons either inherent or resulting from her circumstances.
(Sorry, for the polemic)

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Retropath2 | 23 October 2008 - 7:04am

A witch doctor writes

Get well soon Kerry. Go away for a long rest and come back refreshed. Two years should suffice. If not longer.

Take care now. Ciao.

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Beany | 23 October 2008 - 8:16am

An innocent writes

This is the first time I have seen or indeed heard of this woman. I could only watch 83 seconds of the video. Would "Amy Winescouse" pretty much sum her up?

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Archie Valparaiso | 23 October 2008 - 9:02am

Only if you removed

any semblance of actual talent.

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Fraser M | 23 October 2008 - 11:49am

Fearne's looking well

isn't she? A 'mumsy vixen', indeed ((c) Andrew Harrison). And I've liked Schofield since he was appointed the face of kids' BBC and promptly stopped using the Grecian 2000. Kerry? Blame MTV. They've turned her life into a soap knowing she's so flaky, her life so dysfunctional and her craving for attention (and money) so absolute that they'll never be short of material & always have her on a string. I bet it's trebles all round for the producers tonight - they've got a starting point for the next series..

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Graham Johns | 22 October 2008 - 10:11pm

I don't know about all this drugs and tit stuff...

..but I thought she were allright in "Showbands," me.

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shane pacey | 22 October 2008 - 11:11pm

Balldoom of romance

Was she playing Twink in that?

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Hot Lunch | 23 October 2008 - 1:39pm

I was more shocked

that Schofield actually challenged her than I was by her behaviour. You could sense her mind ticking over..."er, this is not in the script, can't we just talk about my boobs/book/tv show...?".

I can also imagine her agent/pr/lifestyle guru having kittens in the background and crossing Schofield's name out of his book of media party invites!

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Retro Man | 23 October 2008 - 8:53am

Who ?

Having been out of the country for the last 15 years and not reading any tabloids / etc, I for one had no idea who she was - looks like I didn't miss anything.

Philip Scholfield's looking good though - last time I saw him on the telly,he was presenting Going Live!!

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chrisf | 23 October 2008 - 9:07am

Surgeon General's warning

SMOKING CAN MAKE YOUR NIPPLES TURN BLACK AND DROP OFF.

Okay, so in the interest of not wanting to feel left out I've watched a bit more of it now. Ha ha. Very good. They had me completely fooled until that line. So this is the new UK version of The Onion, right?

Please tell me it's so.

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Archie Valparaiso | 23 October 2008 - 9:26am

Post mastopexy,

....frankly, yes, it will contribute to that risk.

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Retropath2 | 23 October 2008 - 9:29am

Interesting. So do children . . .

pick them up off the floor to collect and trade them, like Ninja Turtle tiddliwinks?

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Archie Valparaiso | 23 October 2008 - 9:34am

Small dogs generally eat them.

Unless the kids are still crawling, in which they get first, um, bite.........

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Retropath2 | 23 October 2008 - 9:46am

I'll be honest

and say that I didn't expect this tangential strand to occur from the original post.

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Leedsboy | 23 October 2008 - 9:48am

Nor me

To get us back on topic, I suppose they'd look rather like miniature vinyl singles.

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Archie Valparaiso | 23 October 2008 - 9:59am

Ah

I reckon they used to be used as the things you put in the middle of your turntable when the middle of your single was missing.

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Leedsboy | 23 October 2008 - 10:04am
Retropath2 | 23 October 2008 - 10:14am

Let's leave her plumbing

out of this.

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Leedsboy | 23 October 2008 - 10:17am

Yeuch!

You've put me right off my Cadburys' chocolate buttons now.

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Retro Man | 23 October 2008 - 9:58am

No

Kerry Katona is David Cameron's running mate in the next general election.

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Beany | 23 October 2008 - 9:29am

No such thing as bad publicity?

It now seems that Philip Schofield is being blamed for 'ambushing' Katona during the interview.

That's not what I saw (while watching from behind a metaphorical sofa). I saw one human being genuinely concerned at the parlous state of another and doing his best to help while doing his job. I thought Schofield came out of the whole event with his reputation enhanced.

As for Katona, I hope she gets better soon and that her "people" keep her away from the media while she's dealing with whatever it is she has to deal with.

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Red Umpire | 23 October 2008 - 10:01am

I do hope

poor Kerry's managing to cope with the enormous publicity burden of being thrust into the full glare of the press spotlight while she also has to cope with having her every move filmed for her latest MTV documentary series.

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Fraser M | 23 October 2008 - 11:59am

Unfortunately

one "of her people" is her so called husband who stood there and allowed the horror story to go on. You couldn't make it up. No sorry you could.

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Springer Bell | 23 October 2008 - 5:58pm

Is it me or would any other "civilian" mother

have had their kids taken into the care of Social Services long ago?

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Six Dog | 23 October 2008 - 1:12pm

Kerry Katona

She went to school with a former classmate of mine. The stories aren't pleasant, to be honest.

It's unfortunate that she feels the need to be in the public eye, maintaining some kind of 'media career' for want of a better phrase, when there are obviously more pressing concerns. I think that for Phil and Fern to *not* mention the state she was in would have been to ignore the elephant in the room, and I think they handled it reasonably well. It's not easy trying to conduct a live TV broadcast in those circumstances.

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Andrew F | 23 October 2008 - 6:13pm

A non-doctor writes

God but I'm like a dog with a bone sometimes.

I work in psychiatry and can confirm that Chlorpromazine, or Largactil, is still in frequent use in cases of Bi-Polar Disorder particularly in the manic stage.

If she does indeed have that awful illness, and given the drugs shes on she almost certainly does, she has my sympathy. Its just as serious as, say, schizophrenia, and just as profoundly damaging. I think, in this case, its a little more serious than David Beckham's "OCD" for example. The woman is seriously ill.

I remember Dennis Potter slurring a great deal in his justly famed interview with Melvin Bragg and, the absurdity of comparing Potter and Katona apart, I don't recall him being asked if he was an alcoholic. But, then, he had cancer. A "proper" illness.

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goatboyuk69 | 23 October 2008 - 9:36pm

Good points

but one still has to question the wisdom of not just appearing on live tv, but turning up late for the appearance and having a documentary crew in tow when you have such a serious condition. And whoever makes the decisions for KK (and I assume it could still be her) is, at the very least, showing deplorable judgement.

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Leedsboy | 23 October 2008 - 9:51pm

More bone, more dog...

Dennis Potter was openly slugging from a hipflask of morphine during said interview, a strangely exhibitionist and, frankly, poor method of pain relief compared to others available. Irrespective of his condition, I felt it all for show.
I take your earlier point about chlorpromazine, but I can't but help she could/should/(is?) be on something less acute phase, if you will. But I bow to your sharper end, should this need to go on.

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Retropath2 | 24 October 2008 - 7:44am

What BPD does to people

Without wishing to jump on a soapbox here most of the things the woman is being criticised for here are exactly what you would expect from someone with Bi-Polar. Exhibitionism, lack of control, lack of judgement, inability to judge relationships, likelihood of being exploited etc etc.

If she is "in control" she clearly isn't. If someone else is they should be in custody.

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goatboyuk69 | 23 October 2008 - 10:02pm

Hell in a handcart

People have no shame anymore. Every tawdry facet of the talentless, the desperate and the obnoxious is poured over, discussed and commented on.

Celeb watching is the drug du jour of the 21st century.

Come the revolution the wall won't be big enough to line them all up against.

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alf2019 | 24 October 2008 - 8:14pm

Leonard Cohen , I think it was..

who said..."The rich have got their TVs in the bedrooms of the poor."
While she´s not exactly finacially strapped , you know what I mean.

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On The Fence | 27 October 2008 - 2:10pm
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