..."my blakey use to be in transport based sitcom as well".
I'm translating here the original went
" My Blwakey mns mns mhgg Teapot hggft trip hop as well..."
or
Plans for a remake of one flew over the cuckoos nest in full swing...

..."TAXI!!!"

DeVito announces a new line up for Twins 2 .

A Hollywood spokesperson says " Mr DeVito felt it was important to connect with the kids these days and the sexual tension that could be developed by having differently gendered characters would show up in the audience demographic " Finally the spokesperson added " there is no truth to the rumour that Danny plans a Mighty Boosh homage scene , by clambering out of Miss Winehouse's bouffant"

Just how many bras is Amy wearing?

Not that I'm bothered you understand.

"Ah, bless 'im. Have you heard this one darling?

(Sings) Dwarves, midgets, imps and elves, imps and elves,

Dwarves midgets, imps and elves, imps and e-elves".

...and not Baker?

...is that is or is that ain't a hickey on her neck?
Merely so that I may inform "Heat" immediately.

Danny's gripping her rather-too-firmly by the hand and saying "If you use your elbow on me one more time, my girl, I'll rip your f***ing head off your f***ing neck and send it to poor little Blakey..."

"Bizarrely, my mom has that exact same tattoo"

Three have made it to the short list so far. (The prize is real, by the way. All too real.)

AH " blimey me my blakey are twitchers too"

Celeb bird watcher Devito, the US Bill Oddie, gets a closer look at the rough bird he had recently been viewing through his binoculars.
"The Winehouse is an endangered species which, despite having a beautiful singing voice, has a plummage that is designed to frighten. To actually touch one, with only the protection of sunglasses and a slight lean away, fills me with pride".

DeVito " You're telling me you smuggled David Hepsworth past security , in that hairdo ?"

When they told me to go and see the bird with the long legs and the big arse I thought it was an ostrich! (copyright T. Trinder?)

(Female) Left hand over right breast.
(Male) Left hand over genitals.
(Both) Handshake: The man grips the woman's palm and squeezes.

I'd spot that one anywhere.

Confused Chelsea fan struggles with age-old "Snap bizarre celebrity meeting/drink bottled water?" dilemma.

She says 'I think we're both in bother. I feel a right tit and it looks like you've dropped a bollock.'

The deadline is 5:00 p.m. BST, with the announcement of the winner and prize-mailing ceremony to be held shortly afterwards.

'It's a deal; I won't act if you won't sing.'

'It's a deal; two songs on the soundtrack to 'Throw Duffy From The Train'.'

'If I lean this way, grab my nuts and squint, I can see what's left of your brain through what's left of your nose.'

er, everybody.

So here's your prize: the graphologist's analysis of Alan Millican's* handwriting and autograph.

Rather scrawly handwriting with a pronounced downward slant.

It looks as though the wet weather has given Alan a rather jaded mood this morning.

The shape of the symbolic S shows his natural musical interests.

I wouldn't think he could be described as a brilliant business man, in fact he may get a bit disorganised at times.

The high upper zone indicates he may be a bit of a dreamer and may be inclined to build castles in the air.

The flow of the writing shows quite a degree of creative talent.

(* He was the strangulated tenor in the bad wig, I'm fairly sure, while Nesbitt was the crinkly-haired baritone.)