Van Morrison Removed From Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Following Allegations He Bet On Album SalesJanuary 25, 2011 | ISSUE 47•04

CLEVELAND—Officials from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced Tuesday they were removing 1993 inductee Van Morrison from the institution following the discovery that he had bet on record sales throughout his career. "From 1971 to 1998, Mr. Morrison placed dozens of illegal bets on the success of his albums, sometimes wagering tens of thousands of dollars," said Hall of Fame president Terry Stewart, adding that the Irish singer had clearly rigged The Best Of Van Morrison to garner higher sales. "We also believe that he threw a number of albums in the 1980s." Supporters have argued that regardless, Morrison deserves a spot in the Rock Hall based on his record-breaking streak of 4,256 consecutive shows performed without cracking a smile.

Phew. It's from The Onion so all is OK, Van fans.