Intelligent Life On Planet Rock
Bottles of piss: urban myth or festival stalwart?
My apologies if this puts anyone off their tea, but I was talking yesterday with a slightly older friend of mine, mid 40s, and he was getting all misty eyed about the rock and heavy metal festivals he used to attend as a young man. You know, Donnington, Reading etc. I made a glib comment asking him how many bottles of piss he had lobbed stageward during his greasy biker days and I was rather disappointed to hear him say that he had no recollection of being at any rock show where the audience hurled bottles of piss at bands they were not impressed with.
This has shattered a long held belief I had that Reading festival, pre late 8os would have been full of people hurling bottles of piss at Bonnie Tyler and Meatloaf. Wasn't this the way that the punters displayed their disapproval of certain acts back then?
My question to my fellow Word bloggers is this: have you ever been present at a festival where you have witnessed any crowd member launching cider bottles half full of piss towards the stage? maybe you, yourself once chucked a Diamond White bottle full of urine at Saxon or Dumpy's Rusty Nuts?
If so I'd like to know. I'm also curious as to how you get the piss in the bottle. Obviously, I know anatomically how it works. But do you use a funnel, or just aim and hope for the best? Presumably you throw it with the lid off, so how do you avoid soaking the people in front of you as it travels and spins through the air? Or is that part of the fun?
Again, I'm sorry if this has put anyone off their beans on toast, but I am genuinely curious.
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Bottles of pee, not quite the stage
I witnessed a throwing of a bottle of piss at Donnington one year. However the bottle was not at the stage. Initially the bottle had landed about 2 meters away from us and we were amazed at the bottle remaining closed and intact, but there was no mistaking the amber coloured liquid inside.
We had decided to be good and prevent others from taking the bottle and launching it at the crowd as we were quite away from the stage; especially as we had escaped from a boot soaking from this bottle. A mate of ours came along and kept pestering us to chuck it. Eventually his pestering paid off and we let him throw the bottle.
It was an amazing throw (considering our chum is in the armed forces) and launched the bottle quite a distance away, hitting an ice cream van and the line of around twenty metallers (as it was a nice hot day for Donnington)
All had their heat reduced till they realized they were covered in piss. Amaazingly they just stood there trying to work out where the piss had come from. All I can say is thank god our mates on our side in wars!
Definitely happened...
...at late 1970's Reading Festivals. I can vouch for this
The big boom in piss-throwing seemed to be when the blown plastic Coke/cider bottle replaced glass and Party Sevens. Suddenly there was a light, easy to fill, aerodynamically stable projectile which lent itself to an easy throwing action and offered the benefit of 'tunable' piss-spray by virtue of how tight you did the top (if the the top was even replaced)
It still happens.
I saw The Verve play G-Mex last Xmas. Cups of warm wee were flying everywhere. Horrible - I even saw one cup going flying straight up in the air and then land back on the person who'd launched it. Actually, that was funny.
Boring gig though.
golden showers in africa
going to concerts or football games at rufaro stadium in harare zimbabwe in the 80's I was first taught to look up and check for "downpours"
this was the guys who found it too difficult or couldn't be bothered to find the loos -assuming they worked ( back then there was some chance they worked)
you had to time you run under the stand between showers
ditto driving past long distance busses . the lesson was always wind your window up when passing lest a chibuku (african millet based beer)carton full of piss landed in your lap.
tony
When I were a lad...
...I used to go to Anfield with my father in the days when there were still terraces. If the terrace was too crowded to get out to go for a leak, the accepted technique was to roll up your copy of the Liverpool Echo and use it as a hose to ensure your effluvia didn't go down the legs of the bloke in front of you
Likewise at Twickenham.
Rivers of the stuff trickling down from the rear of the terraces. I was told that the volume was at its highest when the Welsh were playing there; the fans had had the entire length of the M4 to fill their bladders to bursting point, even before the kick off.
Whaddya mean, how'd you do it?
Have you never been caught short where a bottle is the only thing at hand? The problem is making sure it is big enough. Never lobbed one, tho'. It is much more refined to put it back in the fridge.
To accept my reward
The very first gig I went to, as a thirteen year old, was to see Queen at Elland Road in 1982 (the 'Hot Space' tour, pop-pickers). Third on the bill were the Teardrop Explodes who, given that Queen's audience was in the final throes of being primarily a hairy and hard-rocking throng, were not at all well received. Anything to hand was thrown at them, including the inevitable plastic bottles full of yellow liquid. I do recall though that Julian Cope picked up one of these bottles and proceeded to beat himself about the head and body with it for a couple of minutes. It did nothing to discourage the onslaught, surprisingly.
Many an unwanted festival shower.
Having attended Leeds/Reading festival for the last ten years or so, it still happens. A few years ago it was that wimpy scandinavian faux-goth group who's name currently eludes me (they had a hit!). Last summer I'd moved towards the back during Arcade Fire (the missus had TLS) and we were greeted by the sight of a man with his sling-slong out doing a big wee into the sky. Very odd.
It's not just the proverbial that gets chucked though. When 50 Cent played, an ingenious punter had sprayed various root vegetables gold and was encouraging fellow festie-goers to sling 'bling' veg at young Curtis!