Entertainment For Lively Minds
Bono and his stupid sunglasses
Posted by stimpy on 27 May 2009 - 8:20pm.
Have we, perhaps, been too cruel to the beshaded world-saving Dutchman?
In the new Private Eye, a correspondent claims that Bonio has to wear sunglasses at all times because he has a rare condition that makes his eyes unusually sensitive to light.
Does this mean we have to stop taking the piss out of his perma-specs or is it just a ruse on his part to blag a disabled blue-badge for his car?
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Could it be the case
that his condition was brought about by excessive use of the sunglasses, in which case it's a self-inflicted malady and therefore OK(-ish) to mock?
It was
caused by the retina-scorching glare from his ego
Unusually sensitive to light
even when it is a very, very dark night? Ho yuss! The words 'story' and 'likely' spring to mind.
Dutchman?
Dutchman?
Because
he's the most famous of Ireland's four biggest tax dodgers.
Can you guess where they pay their taxes?
Caused by
being an Albono.
Not even in the top ten
I think his sunglasses are well down the list of reasons to take the take the piss.
Why'd he take 'em off at the Brits, then?
Other than to distance himself from the godawful din his once good group were playing?
Medically speaking as to the claim? Bollox.
I think
the condition is known as "thinking it makes him look like a big rock star".
I used to work for a narcoleptic
When he sensed an episode coming on, he would wear ridiculous, oversized heavy-duty shades. He hated that Timbuk3 song, especially when I sung it to him, to cheer him up.
Did he catch the condition
Off Dave Stewart?
Or was it Lennie Peters
from Peters and Lee
(Don't worry, he won't be reading this.........)
The Drummer From The Ting Tings...
... apparently has the same condition. Remarkable! Never heard of it before, and suddenly two sufferers come along at the same time. And both in bands! What are the chances of that!?!?
Blame Bob
I don´t want it to look like I´m defending Bono, but wasn´t this condition kind of invented by Word-fav Bob Dylan and why isn´t he attacked for the very same reason?
I guess I know the answer, but still. I believe I have a point, if small.
Aha, so Bono is the new Heino
Which gives me an excuse to post some of my favourite German Schlager nonsense:
When the comedian Mark Steel
When the comedian Mark Steel nominated Bongo on Room 101 a researcher rang an optician to query this claim and apparently the optician laughed.
cool/not cool, you choose
Okay! Mr. E's was a few decades ago but he rose wearing shades and still *wears* them, even in the bald, beard, black string vest days
Bono's eyes
The real reason for the shades can be found in an old interview in the Observer.
"Look, there are practical reasons, it's body armour, it's a note of necessary insincerity...I quite like not having people who I don't know looking right into my eyes, as if they might find something out about me. They do, they walk right up to you, and stick their head right into your face. So it's good that there's a barrier. And of course, the light, and the drink, makes my eyes go red, there's bit of vanity there, I don't want people to see me all puffy. Yeah, they're really handy, for a myriad of reasons. You go and tell people that!"
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2005/dec/18/popandrock.u2