and with your friend and his family.

...that's hard to bear. It can't have been easy to keep him as a friend in the face of all the pressures, so kudos to you. After all that, to lose him this way...shit, just shit. You obviously valued him and what he did for you - remember him that way.

Your unconditional support for your friend is to be commended.

That's a sad and sobering tale.

(

So chin up mate.

I'm really moved by that post and admire you hugely for your loyalty. Best friends are an incredibly special thing; I know that my love for my own best friend is pretty much unconditional, and I know that if I lost him I'd be the same way. Your post does you enormous credit and I'm really sorry for your loss.

All the very best.

he was lucky you stuck by him.

still don't know what to say ... sometimes it is actually a sair fecht

That was a touching post. My only comment is that Ted was lucky in one element of his life by having a great friend like you.My total respect and sympathy to you and yours.

It's made all the more tragic that you really cannot mourn his death as openly as you would like. Sounds like your friend did receive a life sentence of sorts.

I mourn his death openly, but Ted did wrong and he was severly punished, and he continued and lived with that shame and that punishment till yesterday.
He had only one child, a girl of 11 now. He was not allowed to see his child without supervision from the social services, and not allowed to have his child overnight.
This more than anything drove him down the road to ruin.
Now one may say that he deserved all he got, and I can see where that viewpoint may come from, and I can see where people may think that.
I mourn him, he was a good man and a good friend.
Big Ted RIP

and for many of us here with small children he broke the law in the worst possible way. The law dealt with him and his was a life sentence in it's truest form, that was between your friend and the law. Your friendship was between your friend and you and your compassion in the face of overwhelming facts does you great credit, I'm not sure I could be so forgiving. Take solace in the fact that you gave him time and friendship when others deserted him, your conscience should be clear, mourn his passing and sleep well.

You did not make any though.

you have done?..you stood by and stood up for a friend in the most difficult of circumstances..in time, and I know it is hard to believe now, you will remember the good times spent with a good mate.
Our thoughts are with you ..

Geacher and were a good friend. That was a heartbreaking story, and I wish you all the best, hoping your grief passes quickly.

If we really love someone, then that is the most important thing, not the mistakes they make. Remember your friend and the good things he did. I'm sure you posted this for the support and friendship you are now getting from the Word massive - hope it helps a little. Take care and condolences.

of you so much right now. I have a mate who's stuck by me through thick and thin over the last 25 years, and that's why I feel sure that Ted knew he was loved, even though he didn't want you to see his unhappiness.

I'm a Ted of sorts, albeit with different failings, and your loyalty means pretty much everything to us.

I'm fiercely loyal to my friends and I hope I'd do what you did. A friend in need is a friend indeed as the old homily goes. Your ability to put the terrible part of your friend's life in a different box is a credit to you. A dear pal of mine and I fell out over something completely stupid and whilst he wouldn't communicate for years I wore the bastard down and we are well on the way to rebulding our friendship, which is what friends do, isn't it. All the best fella.

My deepest condolences to you and your friends family. I lost my best friend at the beginning of the 1980s to a drug overdose. There is not a day goes by that I do not remember him. There is not a day goes by that I do not miss him. You sir were a true friend, a rare thing and worthy of the highest esteem. I'm sure your friend found some solace in that in the face of a life gone hideously wrong. Kudos to you.

That was a helluva post to wake up to - really heartbreaking, thought-provoking, all sorts of things...

I wish you well, and hope you are able to see your way through this. It is really sad.

It must have taken a lot for Greacher to write and post his feelings and my heart goes out to him for the sorrow he is going through. Deepest condolences to you.

RIP Ted

You think you know someone, etc.

I don't know what I'd do, but I do know things would never be the same between us again.

Did he admit to you that he was guilty, geacher53? I noticed a lot of Operation Ore suspects were wrongly accused?

(No need to answer if you feel this is prying too much - I completely understand)

You have done nothing wrong. Don't feel guilty at all.

So sad - and moved - to read your story. I was on jury service a year ago and ended up on a 5 week paedophilia trial. Of course, the men tried for child abuse were appalling in their behaviour but the overwhelming feeling was that they were sad, inadequate and pathetic individuals rather than truly evil. And, of course, their families were left devastated ( there was no evidence that their abuse had involved their own children ).

took a lot of courage and empathy - you did a great thing, and I'm not 100% sure I could have emulated it.

Bob's comment:
"His friend did an unimaginably grotesque thing. Geacher, while condemning the crime utterly, didn't withdraw his love.

I think that's fucking amazing."
sums up my feelings exactly.

I am certain that the various words of wisdom and of support above will comfort you in this moment. Bearing in mind the many posts I have read since you introduced me to this blog, I am not really surprised at the level of care and concern shown by many others for your current plight. As I told you before - remember the good stuff.

I was moved by your sorrow, by your friend's awful dilemma, and by the terrible consequences of his actions, and I hope that I'd have the courage to do as you did if it were to happen to someone close to me.

I am absolutely stunned and somewhat overwhelmed by the tone of the messages and the empathy you have all shown to my original posting. I thank you all, I am really deeply touched. I must also thank The Californian and Helena Handcart who took time to contact me personally, you are both good people, but I knew that anyway.
As to my motives in writing the original script, well it began in my mind as a "Look what my stupid friend did" post, but the subject matter was to serious for such a frivolous piece, so there was a lot of catharsis there.
But please, I need no sympathy... the reality is that Big Ted was lost to me and everyone else some years ago.
Now I am not being magnaminous or faux noble here, BUT...
Instead give your sympathy to his daughter who for reasons she may never understand, never really got to know her Father. Also to Dan, his stepson, to whom he was really close, and to whom he was also denied access to. More on Dan (not real name)... when Dan turned 16 or 18, I cannot remember which, and was of a legal age to do what he liked, he moved out of his Mothers house, eschewed overtures from his blood Father, and moved in with Ted. That in itself speaks volumes.
And in response to Guy Incognito, no, he was guilty, and pleaded such in court. He downloaded "only" 200 images, looked at a few then deleted the rest. This is not condoning what he did, but trying to get a wee perspective. This was shown by his punishment, a fine of £500, which was fairly low compared to punishments that were being handied out at that time. Again, not condoning.
The real punishment that Ted received was much, much greater.
When the brown smelly stuff hit the fan, there was a queue that stretched from here to Lands End of people ready to give him a sound verbal kicking and to make sure that he was aware that he was now persona non grata. Ted was hugely successful in his role a an IFA, and a lot of these people were were given free financial advice on many occasions over the years, much to their gain it must be said.
Indeed one evening many many years ago he walked into our local, sat by a table in the corner, placed a sign with his name on it on the table, tinged a tinger and announced "The evening financial surgery is now open. First up get me a pint of export".
I mourn my late friend, but I will not remember the shambling wreck of a man that I last saw.
I will remember his killer green thai curry, his expensive suits that looken like a Burtons cheap job when he wore them, our golfing days out- he could hit a ball a feckin' mile he could. Shit around the greens tho'- our holiday in Portugal, the evenings putting the wrongs of the world right, his joy of becoming a father for the first time when he was in his mid forties,our quiz nights, his late evening phone call when he unexpectedly, and to his unbridled childlike joy, met one of his heroes- Tony "TS" McPhee in a pub, and spent two hours in the Groundhogs guitarists company. One wee story sums Ted up.
He had been fined £50 for some road traffic offence, which he was not happy about. So, when the day to pay it arrived he went to a bank, and withdrew the money in 1ps and emptied the lot into an old holdhall. He took it to the clerk, handed over the docket and dumped the holdall on to to the clerks desk. The clerk looked at the slip, looked at the holdall then looked at Ted.
"Thank you sir. Please count it".
And Ted did.I met Ted later that evening, and I can still see him in my minds eye, recounting the story with a sparkle in his eye, and a broad grin on his face, and showing no sign of rancour: "Wot a bastard, eh? Just goes to show you Geach, whenever you think that you're the smartist kid in town, there is someone always smarter".
Thank you all again for your kindness.
I will miss my friend.

when you are in trouble.

Those that walk away..

those that stand beside you..

and those that take one step closer.

Geacher my friend, you are in the third category and as abhorrent as the crime is you deserve everyone's full respect.