Entertainment For Lively Minds
Beer goggles recommended
I've just returned from a holiday in Bangkok. For six years, I lived in a nearby 'dry' country, so Thailand was doable in a weekend and a very popular holiday retreat. There were many diversions, lots of them sweet (as opposed to unsavoury) and I was never disappointed, usually planning my next visit on the flight home.
Jump forward two and a half years, during which time I'd forsaken the demon brew. I booked a ticket, eager to meet expat friends, revisit old haunts and...
and it was rubbish.
Now I'm certainly not criticising Bangkok. After thirty-odd trips, one bad experience is hardly grounds for griping.
But I was never a particularly wild drunk, and I'm hardly a grumpy teetotaller.
My question to the Massive is this: which experiences can only be truly appreciated through a boozy haze?
Off the top of my head (rather than 'off my head'), I'll start the batting with Eurotrash, take-away kebabs, karaoke, The Word (Terry Christan version), clubs...
Apologies if this has been tackled previously. Possibly in one or more extensive blogs. To which I contributed. Whilst pissed.
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I wouldn't know
I've been teetotal for 13 years, so I've experienced most things stone cold sober. Have recently started drinking (very lightly) again, though, so maybe ask me again in a couple of months when I've had time to scientifically research things a bit more.
Be honest though, Hannah...
In those thirteen years - how many take-away kebabs?
LOADS
There's a gorgeous turkish place up the road that does a beautiful shish with salad. (does that count?)
If you're actually talking about the 2am, orange-grease-dripping kebab, lovingly stuffed with pieces of armpit meat... yep, haven't had one of them in about 13 years.
Sure sign of a heavy night
The stink of chilli sauce in the bedroom, the pitta full of shredded soggy lettuce on the carpet, the orange fingers of shame.
Orange Fingers Of Shame
TMFTL
An up arrer
for "orange-grease", Hannah. How horribly accurate that is. I regularly go down on Doner, but do try and avoid the late night equivalents of DixieWixieFried Chicken. There's a decent one halfway down Old Compton Street - but can anyone recommend any other faves? (I may go on some kind of ker-azee UK pilgrimage one day).
Do you indeed?
Lucky Doner, who I'm sure hopes you'll continue to enjoy a drink...
;-)
I've done karaoke sober
Not inferior, just different.
But to answer the original question: American comedy movies.
Agreed
Will Ferrell never fails to please.
IF you're drinking Bacardi.
Well
You probably need to be in a boozy haze to appreciate bad sex with a complete stranger whose name you can't quite remember.
But on the other hand, you probably wouldn't be having bad sex with a nameless stranger if it wasn't for that boozy state that you're in.
Not that I would know anything about it of course...all hearsay...I'm a good girl I am, honest!
*block out flashbacks from boozy youth, takes a sip of water*
In Bernard Manning voice
'ave ya met the wife?"
I have just watched Twilight.
Were I drunk it would have been a far more enjoyable experience I can assure you...
I gave it a miss
in favour of JK Rowling on "Who Do You Think You Are?" Like your good self, I'd only have chanced teen vampires when my mindset was more along the lines of "Who Do you Think You're Looking At??"
Used to watch
my football team (Birmingham City FC) after about 5 pints before the match. I have to say they played better when I was pissed. These days I go straight to the game and it is far more painful.
I always think Christmas day is better when inebriated too.
The Eurovision Song Contest
is fairly enjoyable with friends through the filter of something moderately mind-altering.
Stag nights
Any stag nights. Usually they involve compulsory "fun" with people you barely know or like.
Only bearable when drinking heavily, which just ratchets up the "fun" even more, requiring more drink to ease the dreadful emptiness.
Same thing applies for Scottish new year.
Hogmanay
A gold-plated up for that one, Bern. I managed to avoid festivities two years back with a quiet night in with my dear old Glasgow ma. For her part, she started toasting the big event around lunchtime, was blotto by five, then sprung up to give me the sloppy kiss/Old Land Syne routine when they showed the Singapore celebrations on telly, thinking them to be our own. And the same routine an hour later when the Taiwan (or somewhere) fireworks were reported. She'd already passed out by the time Jools Holland was making the introductions, having seen in the new year half a dozen times.
having your photograph taken
At the start of a wedding, it's a completely mundane ritual that we all go through. By 11.30 pm, after the 10th pint, it's compulsory to do stupid poses and demand that someone photographs them, including the 'catalogue model point', which I've very much made my own. This also happens on Stag/Hen parties, when a stripper may well be involved.
Weddings generally.
Only tolerable because of the drink.
Mine was a complete piss-up and everyone enjoyed themselves hugely.
Apparently.
And marriages.
Apparently. Erm...
Surprisingly
the great Johann Cruyff actually hated football, and could only play after a couple of beers and 5 schnapps which made it tolerable.