Beatles in space: a threat to us all?
NASA are to beam Across The Universe by The Beatles directly into space later today in a transmission aimed at the North Star, 431 light years away. But is this wise?
Assuming that whomever (or whatever) receives the song can decode the lyrics, I wonder how they'll take them. To an alien intelligence, "Nothing's gonna change my world" might sound less of an expression of Zen contentment and more like "Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough." I can't see the Cylons, the Daleks, the Treens or the Borg taking that lying down, can you?
And anyway, how is this sending the right message about music piracy to the impressionable extraterrestrial demographic?
Perhaps WORD readers can suggest a more suitable song to beam to our alien brothers, sisters and asexual clone hive minds. The very future of civilisation could be at stake.
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Perhaps...
'Let There Be Rock' by AC/DC?
Highway To Hell
That ought to frighten the little green bastards into staying at home.
Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft......
The Carpenters, is surely the one. That or the "Smash" adverts...
Yes!
It's got to be the Smash adverts!
Our gift to extra-terrestrials... mashed potato.
It's already out there
The song was put on one of the Voyager craft and is as we speak hurtling out of our solar system. Hope they know how to work a cassette player
"The earthlings' ferrochrome-based technology is primitive!"
Quite frankly we are ASKING to be invaded if we send a Maxell C-60 into the depths of space.
Strewth, I hope they broke off the little tab from the cassette
Cassette player hurtles through space for millenia, finally arriving at StarStation Zog on the outskirts of the Zogulan empire.
Zogulan captain: What's on the tape?
Research bod: Er, we don't know....
Zogulan captain: How come?
Research bod: We pressed this red key as well as the one with the universal Play symbol. It seems it may have erased what was on the ta....
-kzzrrrtttt-
(smell of burnt lab coat)
Zogulan Captain: That'll teach you. Bloody scientists. Put the fleet on battle stations, we'd better go see what these organisms are up to. And kill them all.
The Beatles' greatest legacy
According to Wikipedia, The Beatles' greatest legacy was the invention of the CT scanner. 'Huh?' you may ask. Well, apparently EMI ploughed some of the huge profits generated by the fabs into scientific research, including computerised tornography. This led to the CT scanner, the first of which was known as the 'EMI scanner'.
So if 'Across The Universe' leads to our annihilation, let us not forget that The Beatles helped save many of our asses as well.
I didn't know that.
Marvellous piece of trivia. Here is the article cited in Wikipedia which also notes that if the 200 million Beatles' 7" singles sold by EMI were laid side by side they would almost run the length of the equator.
take me to your squire...
If popular culture is to be believed aliens when they arrive will head for the remotest region of the country bypassing London, Brimingham etc. In which case can I suggest anything by the Wurzels, so they can at least start to learn the local argot that or whom ever been famous from Doncaster.
Naturally they will be here for our women.
I will be beaming Pulp's Sheffield Sex City into space. The residents of Jarvis Cocker's youthful haunts will not thank me, however it is imperative that we direct our alien invaders and their rectal probing devices, away from our nation's capital.
Radiohead perhaps? Cocteau
Radiohead perhaps?
Cocteau Twins?
Any ethereal recordings that will echo through the sonic dimensions of space and time. Actually, scrap that...this is a no brainer...
STAR TREKKIN' BY THE FIRM.
But what have they sent us in return?
Apart from Sun Ra, I suppose.
(Does anyone know the whereabouts of Zager and Evans; I am sure they will know.)
They sent us...
James Blunt. He has a spy camera inserted in his left eyeball, and he spies on us twenty four hours a day. Or so I've heard.