Lumpy school dinners mash. With a pube in it.

Tripe

= Gruel.

Marmite

A packet of Spangles.

Eels and mash.

Gateaux

wilted spinach

Horseradish

liquorice

Chops.

spotted dick

Rhubarb

Knickerbocker Glory.

Quorn

Foie gras (well, someone had to say it).

Strawberries and cream

Noodles

Ikea meatballs.

Ryvita.

Battenberg

= Consomme. Watery, and feck all in it.

Cola bottle sweets.

Bread (wholemeal, homemade).

spam

Hash brownies.

Unlimited free access to a Delicatessen.

Tart

err. Blancmange

Doner kebabs.

Angel delight

Faggots and peas

Oysters & Guiness

Guinness.

Microwaved bratwurst

Sour cream

Cornflakes

a 99 cornet with raspberry

Single cream.

Uugh?

Ham on rye.

Meat and two veg

Gumbo stew (secret recipe).

Sherbet.

Kool Aid. Spiked of course.

Jam doughnuts

Cottage Pie.Ahem.

Meringue.

Soufflé.

Jerky

Roast beef on Sunday.

Wine Gums

Fish and chips.

Monkey nuts

small pudding

Christmas Pudding

Steak and Ale Pie (Hold the steak. And the pie).

Porridge

Cod.

Mars Bar.....

Meat and two veg (allegedly)

Fried Liver

Soup

Kebab flavour Pot Noodle.

Reconstituted ham.
(Past its best).

Sweet and Sour sauce

Bombé

Baloney.

Lemon meringue pie.

Fish

whale

Wild boar

Prawn cocktail

Jellied eels.

Fish

Meat and 1 veg (served separately)

Whiskas

Twiglets.

Pork and beans

Red Snapper

crisps

semolina

a pint of Guinness

Tripe

erm ... blancmange?

(Honestly you step out to a meeting for a couple of hours and miss all the fun!)

cheese soufflé

Fruit Loop

Candyfloss

Midget Gem.

Findus crispy pancakes

A pair of plums

Cottage pie.

Andouillette sausage.

For those who do not know, it's a French sausage made from chitterlings; coarsely-minced bowel, basically. I've tried them a couple of times. They are regarded as vile by most people but they have a following of dedicated andouillette lovers who think they're great.

Meat 'n' two veg

Lamb Chop

(And vice-versa)

Mutton. Dressed as lamb, obviously..

Or aged poulet de bresse. Stringy old bird, but tasty with it.

Tootie Fruities

Tin of baked beans....

Haggis

Hundreds and Thousands

Lemons

Mushrooms

Mashed potatoes!

Chicken Supreme

Chiiiiiii iiiiiiii ii ii ii ii iives

Irish Stew (in the name of the law)

Quavers?

Leisure: Fish fingers, oven chips, peas and ketchup. Homemade Arctic Roll.

Modern Life is Rubbish: Sunday Roast.

Parklife: A large mound of mashed potato with sausages sticking out of it.

The Great Escape: Garlic and Rosemary mash served with organic free range venison sausages, braised in red wine.

Blur: American burger and fries from hotel restaurant.

13: Tesco Finest meal for one.

Think Tank: Lamb Tagine.

KFC

Candy. Talking variety.

Nothing healthy. Just 'E' Numbers...

Buffalo wings - nice & tasty, but not so good for the flying.

Prawn cocktail

a cup of tea that has been made with lukewarm water and a little skimmed milk but omitting the tea bag

Lamb

Rice Krispies (Snap, Crackle & Pop)

Glasgow salad

Rod Stewart - Mullet (possibly grey mullet upon close inspection)
Madonna - Mussels
Carole King - Brill
Barry White - Bass
James Brown - Sole
Asleep at the Wheel - Kippers

and, of course,

Michael Jackson - Whiting

whatever it is that dung beetles eat

Yakult

Peanut Butter, Jello, Jam, Whipped Cream, Burger, Onion Rings, Cheeze Wizz, Meatloaf, Wet Fries - and all in the same sandwich

Cheeses

Offal. Just offal.

sushi

Sit down buffet, all you can eat for £5.

Walls ice cream

Celery

black pudding

Nah, it's gone.

Edit: sorry Lunaman - I see you had the same thought!

nothing springs to mind...

loaves and fishes

carp

a curate's egg

Edit: I mean this in the modern, not original sense:

The original sense of the expression referred to an objective understanding of the depicted scenario: since an egg that is even partly "bad" is effectively inedible, the supposedly "excellent" parts do not redeem it. The more modern sense of the expression reflects the point of view the curate is trying to argue: that the "excellent" parts compensate enough for the "bad" parts to render complaints – or at least declaring something a total loss – inappropriate.

glad I cleared that up...

Easy Cheese

spare ribs

Chicken

Gypsy cream

Lumpy Custard

Pumpernickel

Lumpy gravy

Onion Rings

Salty Dog

Chipolata sausage (big car, little...)

Big Fish, and then maybe a Little Fish

Spam

Grouse

rabbit

Baked beans and sprouts.

.

Revels

(Very tasty, but I wouldn't eat the orange one)

Fush and Chups

Golden Syrup

Wasabi

Coke Zero (let's hope so anyway...)

scones

crumpet

oven chips

and roast potatoes

Fruit 'n' Nut Shortcake

Smoothie

Yogurt

Ice cream (from the van, of course)

Marmalade

Ice Cream

1 pound lean ground beef 1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix 1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce 1/2 onion, chopped 1 cup dried bread crumbs, seasoned 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese 1 1/3 cups instant rice 1 cup water 1 1/2 cups tomato sauce 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/4 teaspoon dried basil 1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

A little bit of toast.

A smoothie.

Couscous eh?

chick peas (unconfirmed)

lumpy lumpy cheese mash, chip shop chips and a bit of batter

Green eggs and ham.

Big Mac

Quattro Stagioni pizza

White Castle Cheesburger, Coke & Fries.

Gary Glitter - Farleys Rusks

Hendrix - Space Dust/Pop Rocks

Bowling For Soup - Sweetcorn

Karine Polwort - Hot Chocolate (on a wet evening)

(ⅰ) Overture of Orange Juice

(ⅱ) The Temples of Toast

(ⅲ) Oracle: Sea Bass (pedal) Sandwich

(iv) Soliloquy: La Villa Macchiato

Smoked salmon

Dripping

Christmas turkey.

(It's already been given a good stuffing).

Peas (given a chance)

Spaghetti

A tub of lard, obv.

Cup-a-Soup.

Fish Pie

Mascarpone

errr bread

Marshmallow

Chunky Dory

(and indeed Paul Simenon)

Bass

The Rolling Stones: Wood-fired with Buffalo Mozzarella, Italian Tomato and Fresh Basil

Primal Scream: Tesco Value Ham & Cheese

for mick and keef

and zappa would have a plate of hot rats

Mixed salad, with leaves that are green

Moody blue cheese

Stevie Wonder: Parmigiano Reggiano
Jamiroquai: a Dairylea triangle

A ham

Quattroformaggia

Candy and a currant bun.

gorgonzola

Celebrations

Oops

Mince and Potato

Nan bread.

Mince pies

Acid drops.

It doesn't matter what it is or who cooked it.

The big question... Who's the waiter?

I Can't Believe It's Not Hütter

Mute swans and sturgeon

Mute swans and sturgeon

The Smiths - Crisps
The Walker Brothers - Crisps
The Quavers - well ok I made them up ...

Werther's Originals.

err... Ben And Jerry's Phish Food

Taramosalata X.

The Word: Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons
Other music magazines: Bolton West Services, M61