Entertainment For Lively Minds
As a new subscriber...
Posted by shane pacey on 20 May 2009 - 4:15am.
..taking advantage of the weak pound against the Aussie dollar, I'd just like to thank the Word for adorning my first issue with the talentless homunculus some dickheads call "The Igster"
Cheers.
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You pays
your money and you takes your choice- I personally felt billious on seeing Roger Waters on a cover once, the Thom York one was useful on the mantlepiece to keep the kids away from the fire and we saved the Keith Richards one for halloween.
If it's attractive covers you want, surely Health and Efficency would be more suitable?
Yeah? Yeah?
Well let's see how good what some dickheads call 'the Rolfster' looks with his shirt off!
Hmm
Beard? Established musician? Of a certain age?
I can't see why he hasn't been on the cover to date.
The Rolfster... if he's good enough to appear on...
Kate Bush's masterpiece Aerial, then he's OK with me.
...and, of course, he was a mate of
The You Know My Name Look Up The Number Hitmakers.
Surely you mean
The Two Little Boys Hitmaker not The Rolfster?
Per the style sheet
I think you'll find it's "the Jake The Peg hitmaker". (Although preferred, capping up the definite article is optional.)
How could I have got it so wrong?
Comforted by the fact I nearly went for the Sunarise hitmaker (style sheet noted this time).
Although, strictly speaking,
The Stairway To Heaven hitmaker would be accurate
Greatest Hits; 40 Wonderful Years (record label sought)
1960 "Tie My Kangaroo Down Sport" / "Nick Teen And Al K. Hall"
1961 "Tame Eagle" / "Uncomfortable Yogi"
1961 "Six White Boomers" / "I've Lost My Mummy"
1962"Sun Arise" / "Someone's Pinched My Winkle
1963 "Johnny Day" / "In The Wet"
1963 "I Know A Man" / "Living It Up"
1964 "Ringo For President" / "Head Hunter"
1964 "The Court Of King Caractacus" / "The Five Young Apprentices"
1965 "Iko Iko" / "Sydney Town"
1965 "War Canoe" / "Linda"
1965 "Jake The Peg" / "Big Dog"
1966 "Hev Yew Gotta Loight, Boy?" / "Animals Pop Party"
1967 "Fijian Girl" / "You Got What It Takes"
1967 "If I Was A Richman" / "Booralola"
1967 "I've Never Seen Anything Like It" / "Willy, Willy"
1967 "Pukka Chicken" / "Here Come The Bees (Love Has Gone)"
1968 "Hurry Home" / "Paris With You"
1968 "The Bloke That Invented Beer" / "Have A Beer"
1969 "Bluer Than Blue" / "The Monster"
1969 "Two Little Boys" / "I Love My Love" : Number 1!!!
1970 "Tennessee Birdwalk" / "Ned Kelly"
1970 "Mary's Boy Child" / "Christmas Is Here"
1971 "Take Back The Things (That We Said)" / "Salvation Army Citadel"
1971 "Vancouver Town '71" / 68
1971 "A Ram Sam Sam" / "Go Back Home"
1972 "So Earlye In The Evenin'" / "Watch Your Step"
1972 "She'll Be Right" / "Jindabyne"
1972 "Tutankamun" / "A Friend Like Me"
1974 "Papillon" / "Relax With Rolf"
1974 "Little Pal" / "Lazy Day"
1974 "Presbyterian Church" / "Black Midnight Swamp"
1975 "Happy Birthday, Father Christmas" / "MacAdam"
1976 "Yarrabangee"
1978 "Back To W.A." / "Old Man Emu"
1979 "Stuck On The Ice" / "The Gendarmes' Duet" (With Crom Harris)
1981 "Hey Jimmy Johnson" / "Ginger Tom" Enterprides RHE 1
1981 "War Canoe" / "Linda" (Re-Issue)
1982 "The Dreaming" / "Dreamtime" (Kate Bush, both tracks feature Rolf on didgeridoo)
1985 "Tommy (From 88 Pine)" / "Pavlova"
1991 "Stylophonia" / "Stylophonia" (Land Of Aus Instru-Mental) (Two Little Boys, featuring sampled Rolf Harris vocal. Rolf performed and promoted the song on T.V.) Recordings MFD 005
1991 "Sun Arise" / "Two Little Boys" (Re-Issue)
1992 "Stylophonia" ('92 Vocal Re-edit)/ "Stylophonia" (Two Little Boys, featuring sampled Rolf Harris vocal. Rolf performed and promoted the song on T.V.)
1993 "Stairway To Heaven" / "Stairway To Heaven" (By The Australian Doors) : Number 7
1995 "Ego Sum Pauper" / "Ego Sum Pauper" (Rolfamix) / "Old Shep"
1996"Bohemian Rhapsody" / "This Is A Didgeridoo"
1997 "Sun Arise" / "Sun Arise" (808 State Remix)
2000 "Fine Day" / "Fine Day" (Remix)
Amazingly, no unipod peddlars......
No unipod pedlars, no...
but there was a tripod pedlar in 1965
I think you'll find Nigelthebald
has exclusive rights on correcting me. And increasingly often. D'oh.
(Alternative answer: I knew that. Yes, I did. Yes. really. For real. Do I look etc etc etc)
Nonono...
You were RIGHT... there are no unipod pedlars in that list.
But I did spell pedlar wrong.....
Must have been thinking of this lot
Sorry, Retro,
I was out shopping. In such cases stimpy is my designated proxy.
If it makes you feel any better it's all lower case: nigelthebald.
Thus is the balance of the universe restored :-)
I love how...
a thread has been completely hijacked by a lengthy Rolf Harris discussion, merely because the original poster is based in Australia!
Shocking, isn't it.
I hate the nationalism rampant in these pages, why, I am soooo sick of brits writing about their bloody pommy groups whenever one of 'em starts a thread.
Here's the relevant section (p. 256)
The "hitmaker" structure
1. With a view to achieving a cheap alliteration effect, song titles containing a word that begins with "H" should generally be preferred (e.g. "the Hound Dog hitmaker", "the Stairway to Heaven hitmakers" and, of course, "the Hey Jude hitmakers").
2. If no "H" is available, use the crassest title in the artist’s catalogue, e.g. "the De Doo Doo Doo hitmakers". (Crass and an "H" is even better - and why, in the context of his post-Beatles output, Paul McCartney should be styled "the Hi Hi Hi hitmaker".)
3. If none of the above apply, on no account choose an artist’s best-known hit (for doing so could suggest that we consider our readers to be idiots). The best solution is to use the least representative/most frequently derided single they ever released, ideally from the wrong end of their career completely, e.g. "the My Ding-A-Ling hitmaker", "the Pictures of Matchstick Men hitmakers" or "the Miss You hitmakers" (although in the latter case "the Mother’s Little Helper hitmakers" looks likely to become the standard form, featuring, as it does, a most felicitous "H".
4. Long titles are acceptable (indeed, in some cases, such as "the I Just Called To Say I Love You hitmaker", they are to be preferred), provided they contain no brackets, question marks or other potentially misleading punctuation. This is why, tempted though they may be, careful hacks would eschew "the Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine hitmaker", for example, or "the Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? hitmaker", opting instead for tidier-looking alternatives, such as "the It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World hitmaker" and "the This Old Heart Of Mine hitmaker".
A pedant quibbles
Surely in the case of the Rolling Stones, as cited in Rule 3, neither Miss You nor Mother’s Little Helper should even be under consideration. It’s an open and shut case: they are the Honky Tonk Women Hitmakers.
I'm very glad you raised that (yes it's Brownism Day)
"Miss You" is OK as unrepresentative/wrong end of the business. "Mother's Little Helper" gets through on the same grounds, plus a nice "H".
"The Honky Tonky Women hitmakers" works for me fine. I was merely reporting a trend (albeit completely imaginary).
the Country Honk hitmakers?
ps - surely the b-side to Rolf's "If I Were a Richman" as detailed above should have been "Egyptian Reggae"? I can hear it now - "Mhmm chacka hmmhpph chakk" - wobble wobble - "Ken yeh tell whaddidisyit?"t
so is the second choice for the
Hey Jude Hitmakers the "Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me and My Monkey" Hitmakers.
I think it has a certain je ne said quoi about it, m'self.
Guidance sought
Are brackets sacred, i.e. deemed integral to the title? Can they be ditched to shoehorn in an alliteration that satisfies Rule 1? So can James Brown, for example be The Hot Pants Hitmaker, even though the record‘s actually called “Hot Pants (She Got To Use What She Got To Get What She Wants)” - a bugger of a title if you’re operating across a short measure ? Guidance sought.
I think that very issue was addressed in the 2004 Appendix
It's in a box somewhere. I'll get back to you.
About time...
there was no beard or prog rocker/folkie/Beatle on the cover.
I love it, a brave choice when you think that has to go on display in shops - now let's just see if they can get a female cover star under the age of 40 on the cover - that would be a real challange!
Polly Jean
please
Or Beth Orton
Goldfrapp?
Karen O from Yeah Yeah Yeahs? Actually, I'm a bit pushed to think of any more...
An Alison Goldfrapp cover would be a pleasant change...
especially on the Subscriber Edition with no writing to obscure the image.
Speaking of which, do we really need the 'Special Edition' legend on the cover anymore? We *know* it's a special edition, the lack of any other writing gives that away now :-)
Alison Goldfrapp
may just be the Word side of 40....
PJH is 40 on 9 October
Just time to get the cover in under the wire. Or under The Wire as we have to say round these parts.
I like the cover but...
I did notice in T*sco yesterday that there were more than the usual number of copies on the shelf for week two. I don't think it's a case that the copies aren't selling, but that people who have bought it elsewhere, or maybe subscribe, are shop-dropping (as opposed to shop-lifting) their copies to prevent spouses, offspring, pets being alarmed by the scary naked man on the front.
The Rolf gags..
..pass over me. I'm from Yorkshire.
It's just bloody horrible.
Yorkshire
Yorkshire has always been horrible. Try moving south.
He can't get
much further south than Australia to be fair.
Antarctica?
Penguin pedantry - fine work!
I liked Rolf's gag
at the weekend that an Aussie MP called Jake had been caught claiming expenses for an extra leg, diddle- iddle liddle-lom.
I think the choice of Iggy is a crafty ploy
to up-end the debate about the subscribers' issue by producing a cover to which the addition of more and more text could only be an improvement.
He looks like an old whore...
..which of course, he is.
And who isn't
in the field of popular culture? ;-)
The Igster
You have a perfect right to take a pop at Iggy, but (as a new subscriber) you may not be aware that calling other users names (i.e. 'd*ckheads') is very much against the friendly ethos of The Word website.
Also, Iggy, 'talentless'? '1969,' 'Lust for life,' 'China Girl,' 'The Passenger,' even 'Real Wild Child' was kind of OK (it sounded excellent on the radio in 1987, I seem to remember). These just off the top of my (d*ck-shaped) head. Mr.Pop is a highly influential artist & widely considered (at least in my house) to be the godfather of 80s leather-trousered indie-rock (e.g. the output of Creation records).
I'm not really even a big fan of the Igster. In fact I was just calling him that in a tongue-in-cheek, ironic, humorous fashion. Sorry if it didn't translate.
Much love
Adman
x
err...
Shane has been posting here for ever - and, whilst Iggy is certainly a bit of a character, I suspect that accounts for most of his (Iggy's not Shane's) legendary status.
It certainly can't be his singing or songwriting ability which, at best, appears negligible. Not sure how much input he actually has into the music - does he play an instrument? It seems to be he always needs a musical foil to help him with the music.
surely we all know ...
*adopts Anthony Newley voice*
"AND IGGY PLAAAAAYED GUITA-HAAAAAR!".
Yes he does play guitar. Lots of singers have musical foils.
I think he's great, too.
Fans only(!)
Iggy in his pomp... (some Bowie action too...)
I may be a new subscriber...
..but I've been contributing to this site for yonks (and am conversant with it's etiquette, thanks).
I obviously wasn't singling anyone out personally, and never would. Sorry if you took offence.
As for Iggy's "talent"..well whatever floats yer boat. In my house, nothing he's ever made would get past my door. The Stooges stuff is inept, and the "classic" Raw Power sounds like a wet sponge.
I tried to like him in my younger days, but now accept him for what he is..a chancer with more front than a battleship.
And that cover is still foul.
Sorry for misunderestimating...
...the length of your tenure on the board & didn't intend to state the obvious. Thanks for the post.
I'm confused, where do I stand on this?
I am a d*ckhead but I don't call Iggy Pop the Igster. Help please!
Not all people..
..who use "The Igster" are dickheads, and not all dickheads use "The Igster".
Signed
Dickhead Shane
How about those who prefer 'The Igmeister'? :-)
The Iggatollah
Comrade Iggski, Sir Igford of Popchester, Senor Iggalia Santa Maria and so on.....
The cover is occasionally interesting
but I honestly don't give a pile of putrid wallpaper paste who is on it - I buy the magazine for the writing inside.
Do you think that people who buy The New Yorker think "Oh, that's a pretty cover picture - I'll buy the magazine."
I know that's a bit fatuous (and I'm aware of the issues and economics that go into the choice), but apart from the obvious issue of beard action, the person on the cover is of secondary interest when I buy a magazine.
Harrumph.
Bleeding obvious...
..first in a series.
I'd buy it if The Pussycat Dolls were on the cover.