Entertainment For Lively Minds
Artists who can never tour
A track by the excellent Patti Scialfa came up on the iPod this morning, and I was thinking what a shame it is that she’s never toured the UK. In fact, I believe that she’s only ever played a handful of ‘showcase’ gigs as a solo performer, despite having released three albums that have been warmly received by critics and discerning listeners alike.
The reason is obvious, of course: any attempt at a Patti Scialfa tour would be scuppered by legions of fans of her more famous husband, coming along on the off-chance that he’ll be joining her on stage. Even if they printed tickets with BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WILL BE 5,000 MILES AWAY AT THE TIME OF THIS CONCERT AND DEFINITELY WILL NOT BE PERFORMING written on them in big letters, you can bet there’d be an outbreak of Brooooocing the moment Patti walked on stage. From her point of view, you can see why it simply wouldn’t be worth the aggro.
It got me wondering whether there any other artists who simply can’t tour, for one reason or another. Any thoughts?
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Has to be
The legendary Lovetrousers, for how would word hit the street.
And then, how would Word hit the street. Mass hysteria ensues...
XTC
I'd kill to see them.
I never thought I'd ever see Linda Thompson, but she got over her phobias and thankfully returned to the stage.
Elvis
He can't tour on account of being dead which seems a fair enough reason.
The King
is still often in the building, in the virtual sense.
MIKA
He can tour but I'd be interested in anyone's ideas for reasons why he can't tour. Ever. Or indeed release music. Ever.
Please give generously.
Aretha Franklin
Doesn't fly, I believe, which kind of rules out UK shows.
Kim Jung-il
Doesn't fly. Takes the train. Last major foreign tour was a three-week jaunt to Russia in 2001.
Has he got a new album out?
That'll get him back on the road
Not sure the world is
ready for a North Korean world tour aren't we all toast the moment Kim and his street crew step into the DMZ
Maybe
But they've got an amazing light show
Aretha ain't gittin' on no plane, fool!
Can't they put something sleepy in her milk, a la A Team?
Oops. Last in the queue for this gag. Sorry.
Elvis?
Ahh_Bisto - I was sort of assuming that being dead automatically rendered touring problematic...
Lucas - I wonder if anyone’s ever tried tricking Aretha onto a plane, like The A-Team regularly did with the similarly phobic BA Baracus? I now have a delicious mental image of Aretha doing the whole “I ain’t goin’ on no damn plane, crazy fool!” routine.
Yes, I'm imagining that too
Shame George Peppard isn't around to convince her.
Not so.....
Elvis the Concert returns
"Elvis Presley In Concert - The New Tour" is now officially confirmed for Spring 2010. Also known as the 'big screen show', Elvis the Concert features Elvis singing on a big screen, accompanied by the TCB Band, the Sweet Inspirations, The Imperials and Joe Guercio. It's nothing less than a small miracle that the show will tour again. After all, it was Priscilla herself who announced the 'very last screen show' at the Fed Ex Forum in Memphis, on August 16th 2007.
OK, so not strictly true that he is there in person........
I saw the Elvis on screen show last time round
It was great. More 'live' than Madonna etc
Yeah...
Aretha's manager fires a stun pellet into her backside and hoists her onto a plane so she can play a 200 night residency at the Water Rats.
The main thing stopping Patti Scialfa
touring the huge mound of cash in the family's bank account?
Well...
You’re right, of course - she doesn’t need the money. But since she’s an artist who writes and records her own songs, it seems reasonable to assume that she’d quite like to perform them in public.
I know there have been plenty of other celebrity singing couples, but I can’t think of another apart from Bruce and Patti where one is such a powerful live attraction as to squash the other’s chances of getting a fair hearing. For instance, I doubt whether Diana Krall’s gigs are swamped with Elvis Costello fans who’ve come along on the off-chance of hearing them sing a duet...
Also
Patti quietly withdrew from the Magic tour; I'm guessing to go home and be a parent.
Scott Walker?
When was the last time he played live, let alone toured? I think he did a track for Jools Holland in 1995 but hasn't played live since.
I think intense eccentricity, paranoia and egomania may or may not be involved...
eccentricity, paranoia and egomania may or may not be involved..
...but enough about Jools...
Orbital
Orbital apparently split up because they had got to the point where they didn't have time at their shows to play all the crowd favourites as well as some off the new album.
But they're back together now, so they've obviously thought of a way around this problem.
Yep
Don't play any new ones.
Plenty of Elvis in my area
And Frank Sinatra. Usually in the local working men's club. Don't seem to bother with the "Wigan's answer to Elvis" or "Sounds like Frank Sinatra". Nope - the posters (stuck on lamp posts) usually say "This Saturday - Elvis Presley"
King Crimson
70s five piece behemoth version
one can dream...
XTC
Just once please!
Abba
Sure I read a reunion tour wouldn't happen because one of them was also a non-flyer.