Our racing manager has been consulted and he suggests that any of the following three would be worth an investment each-way:

Darkness
Black Apalachi
Rambling Minster

Anything else we can help you with?

Kilbeggan Blade
Butlers Cabin

Both e/w.

has dealt me "My Will" at 7/1 and "Fleet Street" at 100/1, so that's two to avoid for starters

I've drawn three in our sweep:

10 Priest's Leap
19 Parsons Legacy
22 Golden Flight.

They'll be the ones running the wrong way. Giggling behind their hooves, no doubt.

Trust me!

but i'm beginning to think that taking your entire life savings and slapping it at even the most clapped-out, long-shot nag running tomorrow, and it's still got a better shot of making you a decent return than where it is at the moment.

Unless, of course, you've got your entire life savings tied up in stocks of companies specialising in

a) pornography
b) drink
c) fags
d) arms
e) betting (oh the irony)

I'd go for Kilbeggan Blade, which is 20-1, apparently.

Well, I don't anything about horseracing, but that's the horse I picked out in the office sweepstake and I'm told it's a fairly useful gee-gee.

...but it breaks down like this:

Step One
14 of the last 17 winners started in the top eight of the betting. Therefore it must be one of these guys (three are joint-eighth):
My Will, Butler’s Cabin, Rambling Minister, State of Play, Hear The Echo, Parsons Legacy, Darkness, Comply or Die, Black Apalachi or Irish Invader

Step Two
10 of the last 13 winners have been aged either 9 or 10. That means we say goodbye to Rambling Minister (11), Hear The Echo (8), Parsons Legacy (11) and Irish Invader (8). Still fighting are:
My Will, Butler’s Cabin, State of Play, Darkness, Comply or Die and Black Apalachi

Step Three
No horse since Red Rum in 1974 has won the Grand National in successive years. That rules out Comply or Die, leaving us with:
My Will, Butler’s Cabin, State of Play, Darkness and Black Apalachi

Step Four
A century has passed without a French-bred winner. That’s bad news for My Will and Butler’s Cabin. Still in with a chance are:
State of Play, Darkness and Black Apalachi

Step Five
Only one of the last 19 winners have been carrying over 11 stone. As State of Play (11-02) and Black Apalachi (11-05) have been heavily handicapped that means the winner should be…

Darkness!

You ain't seen me, right....

is called Will so I expect my wife (his mother) will put the mortgage on that one. Maybe she should: my other passion is the work of Jimmy Webb and Wichita Lineman came in during the Cheltenham Festival.

Yeah, don't watch it.

...the Radiotherapy Department's one pound Grand National sweepstake. Horses were chosen via lucky dip, rather than by any racing nous or knowledge of ground conditions.

I drew Comply or Die.

100-1. Bastard.

Just goes to prove that you can study the form and go through the stats all you like, you're still better off with a talking parrot or sticking a pin in the paper...