Entertainment For Lively Minds
Anti Desert Island Discs
Posted by DrJ on 6 January 2010 - 2:27pm.
An idea via Alan Bennett...
"It's years," writes Bennett, "since I was on Desert Island Discs but these days I'd find it much easier to choose the eight records I don't want than those that I do."
http://bit.ly/8Wy9CQ
So, what 8 records are your anti-Desert Island Discs? You can give Kirsty Young type reasons for each selection, if you wish...
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Basically anything used up
These would tend to be records that you have used up, worn out (if not by yourself then by the telly) and never want to hear any time soon. Those with added interminableness are prime candidates. Stairway, Freebird, American Pie, Bat Out Of Hell and Layla will do for a start. Clocks by Coldplay only seems interminable. I even find myself a bit twitchy with Blue Monday these days.
Then anything overused by Desert Island Discs itself, like
My Way - Frank Sinatra
Wind Beneath My Wings - Bette Midler
The Best - Tina Turner
Everything I Do - Bryan Adams
Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet (but only by...).
If we're on the classics, Vivaldi's Four Seasons has been ruined by call centres, and Nimrod from Enigma Variations is running the risk of extreme over-exposure as well.
If he wants to avoid these
I think he should simply not listen to Classic FM. It's about 30% of their playlist.
When I used to be at Glasgow hospital radio
there were several records which were requested so often I'd happily never hear them again:
My Way
New York New York
Blanket On The Ground
For These Are My Mountains
Vincent (always requested as "Starry Starry Night")
and the number one request every year:
One Day At A Time.
Sweet Jesus ...
Know how you feel
Where I do Hospital Radio Our number one request has been "My Way" for many years now. Other popular ones are
My Heart Will Go On
Wind Beneath My Wings
The Power of Love
Love Changes Everything (Michael Ball, not Climie Fisher)
Lady in Red
You Raise Me up
Haven't played Lena Martell for a bit though which is interesting - that was very popular a few years back.
Hospital radio, and 'My Way'?
Can you think of the words you'd least like to hear as you lay in your sick-bed?
"And now, the end is near..."
Flippin' 'eck!
Inappropriate Hospital Radio records
My Accountancy lecturer at college used to do the odd stint at Hospital Radio.
We tried to get him to play (and he did apparently) many inappropraiate records. Three that spring to mind are:
Bonnie Tyler - Its A Heartache
Hollies - The Air That I Breathe
Pearl Jam - Alive
I'm ex-hospital radio too...
and we had long list of banned records, including
"The First Cut is the Deepest"
"Three Steps to Heaven"
"I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight"
still makes me chortle...
Not only that, but ...
... a guy with broken legs asked for "The Walk Of Life".
And we were told about the late night DJ who was the first in the UK network to hear the news of Fred Astaire's death, and saw fit (without much advance thought) to commemorate this by playing "Cheek To Cheek". Whose first line is "Heaven, I'm in heaven ...". Got sacked for it, apparently, although I'm happy to accept this is an urban myth.
Ivan Brackenbury - he's bonkers
You hospital radio DJ's should have made a stand-up act out of it.
Superb!
Mrs A ...
anything
by Gerry and the Pacemakers
(gets white coat)
No Queen tracks
from "Sheer Heart Attack" then?
The Lady In Red
Without doubt, the single most appalling song ever written. de Burgh should be tried for crimes against humanity and anyone even tempted to sing, play, record or in any way promulgate it should be summarily convicted of inhumane treatment of their fellow human beings.
Flo' and the Machine's
version of You Got the Love makes me howl with anguish (sounds a bit like an echo really)
Not wishing to be controversial but
you can't polish a turd.
Where do you go to my lovely?
Wherever it is I wish she'd fucking stay there.
.
.
I'd cheerfully never listen to Nickleback again.
So my anti-tracks would include "How you remind me" and "Rock star".
Guaranteed channel changers.
Hideous band.
The Wind Beneath My Wings
What an appalling lorryload of dung that song is. Not only is it mawkish nonsense but I think it is insulting to the person it is dedicated to. Especially when Bette M sings "thank you" with a sincere nod at the end.
Wonderful Tonight
In fact, I would just choose ten of the soppiest MOR love songs (including, as mentioned above, Lady In Red).
Weddings are especially bad for this kind of thing. When I got married I spent about a week sorting out the venue, food, best man, speech, etc and about a year sorting out all the music I wanted to play at the disco afterwards (and it had to be a disco: couldn't trust a band).