we should have bought the chastity belt with a key rather than a 15 digit combination lock.

...I have absolutely no idea where your other harmonica is".

sorry, I can feel your hands. You owe me a shilling.

if you're going down on one knee you could at least propose FIRST.

always took an unconventional approach to charades but his actions for "muff warmer" proved a real show-stopper.

...about the vagina monologues Captain, but this one is just not talking.

but too off colour but wtf
"I know I said you must have felt a ****,I didn't mean it literally"

felt a bit of a twat. Well most of it actually.

that everybody else who joined the Word chubby checker programme had to go through this?

I'll do it myself!

I wasn't being metaphorical. Will you please call for a plumber."

of the Magic Circle Charles knew he had to do more than pull a rabbit out of a hat.

It's impossible for any man to find it.

Tits first. What kind of girl do you think I am?"

Along the lines of the Viz defacement competition

http://public.ave-comics.com/pdf_denis/043_viz190_defacement.pdf

Woman "Could you at least remove your ring sir?"

Man "That's not a ring, it's my wristwatch".

It would appear you have a small plastic straw in your back passage."

I meant a four to play Bridge."

watching The Crying Game Charles had begun to doubt his own instincts.

but I do have a lisp"

the annual Word Awards soon livened up when Russell Brand arrived

Mr Darcy was reknowned throughout the district for his rigorously thorough approach to the courtship ritual.

Once again, Mr Bingley had fixed the Charades games so that he got 'All Creatures Great & Small'

...was a short-lived Victorian craze which appeal only to a select number of gentlemen and swiftly became frowned upon in polite society.

Behind the scenes with Dexys Midnight Runners and Mr Rowlands reveals how he hits those 'crying' high notes ...

.... Explained that the lost denture simply HAD to be retrieved.

No while I am leaning on this pew waiting for the vicar!

had begun to doubt her piano tutor by this time...

I thought you said psalms!"

....don't forget the four finger rule......

...Mirror...Signal...Manoeuvre..."

when I asked if you'd like to play with my musical box I was referring to the keepsake on my dresser."

"I assure you Miss Fairfax, I AM looking at your eyes!"

I said, 'Would you like to see a Massive Mingle...'

much to ask Charles that when we have mama over for supper you warm your hands by the fire?"

So THAT's The Mystery of Edwin Drood."

Now Cough!

For those without a subscription - Accessing the Word podcast was becoming more and more tricky.

It was considered polite in 19th century London for Victorian Ladies to give birth to fully-clothed, fully-grown children – preferably with facial hair. Anything less was seen as unsavoury and surely the work of The Devil.

When you said you'd fill my cavity...

Over at the Levinson Enquiry… and the Phone Tapping scandal takes on a sinister new twist.

I like to keep a hand in my own affairs.

.

... "Now clap your hands"..

He says "I can't"..

She says "I told you I was tight".

I do believe it's time that I demonstrated the "wedgie"

in which she attempts to attract a customer by standing in front of a post box. We can surmise from the gentleman's averted gaze and stoical commitment to his task that his letter is the only thing that landed on the mat this time.

but the hand drier in the gents is knackered.

you really must learn to control that Jack Russell...."

"I'm sorry m'dear. He must have caught the smell of a rabbit"

I'll get out the bloody way!"

my turn Mr Dickens I have great expectations."

Now I know why all the fella's call you kit-kat,

I Know Its Up There Somewhere

...with the ping pong balls, the audience is getting impatient".

my friend on another magazine warned me to wear my strongest knickers

'... And that's the four finger rule. Now ... felching...'

I married him."

No Sir! I invited you to tickle my ivories not my ovaries!

I've just read through this thread. And to be honest, I've found several of the comments distasteful and offensive. I don't want to enter into a debate about it. As you were...

Great grandma Worrell Thompson had a love/ hate relationship with store detectives

but I'm trying to find out what happened to Lou Reed's career."

Woman: And you say Mr Morrissey that this has given you another new idea for one of your delightful popular songs?

Francis still couldn't hear that Dinah-Moe Hum

that gerbil of yours Mr Gere, may I suggest you keep it in a cage, at least until we've finished dinner?

Him - I left my watch in there...

Her - What was it ?

Him - A foreman & 3 labourers...

finally met the man of her dreams

Oh Jesus Christ!

...can I be the Walrus?

Nearly fully inflated!

... I've almost got the Home Service coming in loud & clear."

What do you mean, stuck?

was always a popular choice at charades when Cedric and Daphne came over for dinner.

Gottle of geer...

Is it Womb With A View?