This Farming Man-The Smiths

I WROTE THE SONGS THAT NEARLY MADE
THE BOTTOM LINE OF THE HIT PARADE
ALMOST ANTHEMS, SHOULDA BEEN HITS
SONGS LIKE... PUTTIN' ON THE RITZ
SOME ENCHANTED AFTERNOON
TWENTY-FOUR HOURS TO LEVENSHULME
DANCIN' IN THE DAYLIGHT, SINGIN' IN THE SMOG
YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HEDGEHOG
SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR
DO YOU REMEMBER THEY WAY WE ARE
I'D LIKE TO GET YOU ON A SPEEDBOAT TO CHINA
FROM AN IDEA BY GEORGE STEINER
AIN'T NO BLAG - UNCLE'S GOT A BRAND NEW JAG
AIN'T NO SLOUCH - MAMA'S GOT A BRAND NEW COUCH
SHE AIN'T HEAVY, SHE'S MY SISTER
NOT TO LEAVE OUT TWIST AND WHISPER
BRAND NEW LEAPORDSKIN PILLBOX GLOVE
BABY YOU AND ME WE GOT A GREASY KIND OF LOVE

but tell me I am not alone in thinking that the Hall&Oates song (covered also by Paul Young) goes: "Every time you go away, you take a piece of MEAT with you........"
It gives an neatundead twist, doncha think?

(Spike Milligan)

Come Fry With Me-Frank Sinatra

Twenty-Four Hours From Towcester.

'When I Knead You' - covered by Bread (or possibly not)

'Tie A Yellow Mini' - covered by T Rex (Sorry ... are the taste-police still lurking?)

Korma Police-Radiohead
Frisky In The Bar-Thin Lizzy

The Man Who Sold The Sun

Knocking On Helen's Door - Bob Dylan

Ticket To Riyadh - The Beatles

Sad Eyed Lady Of The Leylands
M61 Revisited

Nicorettes & Alcohol - Oasis

I Recall A Gypsy Cream-Don Williams

Don't Let The Hun Go Down On Me

The Man With the Child in his Pies - Kate Bush (possibly illegal)

Like a Sturgeon - Madge (bit fishy)

Last Night in Perth - U2 (Bono and the boys on the piss by the Tay)

Tay Dripper - the Beatles (pull U2 out of the river)

Novocaine for the Mole - Eels (rodent pain relief)

Dead Moles - Joy Division (extreme new wave gardening)

Desolation Mow - Bob Dylan (bipolar gardening)

The Great Pig In the Sky - Pink Floyd (quite liderally folks!)

Whole Lotta Bosie - AC/DC (Oscar Wilde love anthem)

Comfortably Dumb - Pink Floyd (Dave gives up and trades down)

The Remon Song - Red Zepperin (Japanese import)

Mat out of Hell - Meat Loaf (wipes his feet)

/stops

Bohemian Nonsense.....Queen
Smells Like White Spirit.... Nirvana
Hoe Down.....Jethro Tull

Bohemian Rapeseed Oil

We Are The Champignons

Stove Of My Life

We Will Cook You

King Prawn Massala Drinks Are Free - Wham
Tikka Chance On Me - Abba
Rice Rice Baby - Vanilla Rice
Jalfrezi - frezi Nights - Kiss
Love me Tandoor - Elvis Presley
Livin' Dhal - Cliff Richard
Raita Here, Raita Now - Fatboy Slim

'Sitting on the Cock of the Gay'.
OK so me and my mates thought it was funny when we were 16.

While My Catarrh Gently Weeps - The Beatles
Got To Get You Into My Lift - The Beatles
Billie John - Michael Jackson
Walk This WAG - Aerosmith
Last Train To Leicester - ELO
Don't Bring Me Dung - ELO
Where The Streets All Have Names - U2

... is Bowling In The Wind.

Also:

Hit Me With Your Blemish Stick - Ian Dury.
You Can Call Me Al Quaida - Paul Simon
A Florist - The Cure

How do these grab you:

'No Woman No Fry' - Bob Marley
'Bizarre Lard Triangle' New Order
'The Boy with the Horn On His side' - The Smiths
'Just Like Kevin' - The Cure
'Are Fiends Eclectic?' - Gary Numan
'Sex & Drugs & Frock n Roll' - Ian Dury
'Instant Korma' - John Lennon
'Dirty Old Pants - The Pogues
'This Woman's Wok' - Kate Bush
'Shoplifters of the World Ignite' - The Smiths
'Supermassive Black Vole' - Muse
'The Great Pig in the SKy - Pink Floyd
'Street Farting Man – Rolling Stones
'I Shit the Sheriff' – Bob Marley
'In Your Pies - Peter Gabriel
'Its My Wife' - Talk Talk
'Life with a Northern Frown' - Dream Academy
'Lucky Van' - The Verve
'Sweet Gnome Alabama' - Lynard Skynard
'Fake Plastic Brie' - Radiohead

Phew...

The Cortina Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
Girlfriend In A Corsa - The Smiths
Austin Maxi Prison - Johnny Cash
Austin 7 Nation Army - The White Stripes
Morris Dancing In The Dark - Bruce Springsteen
Jesus Doesn't Want Me For A Sunbeam Alpine - The Vaselines
Running Up That Hillman - Kate Bush
Thank You For Sending Me An Anglia - Talking Heads
Where Nissan Bluebirds Fly - Radiohead
Mazdas Of War - Bob Dylan
Toyotas In The Attic - Aerosmith
Smack My Mitsubishi Up - The Prodigy
Take My Honda, Precious Lord - Various
Saabotage - Beastie Boys
No Line On The Talbot Horizon - U2
The Peugeot Must Go On - Queen

Napalm Death cover of the Vince Hill hit, originally from "The Sound Of Music" - Anal Vice

Dedicated Follower Of Ration

Yours are comedy gold.

Michael Jackson: Billy Joel (Is Not My Lover)
Mylo: Valley Of The Dahls

Highway To Hull - AC/DC

Midnight Drinking Oasis: Maria Muldaur
Pegs and Rugs and Filled Rolls: Ian Drury
New Boots and Pasties: Ian Drury again
My Sweetcorn: Geo Harrison
Slush: Deep Purple
Buy Buy American Pie: Don McLean
Back Seat For My Car:Macca
Beeswax: Richard Thompson
Blackberry Angel Delight: Macca
Coke: Eric Clapton

.

Hygiene is very important for Mr. Mathers.

Toast In The Machine - The Police
After hours of tantric sex you need a good breakfast.

Songs In A Morris Minor - Alicia Keys
They were so poor they even had to drive a british car.

Diamond White And Pearls-Prince

...the Neighbour of the Beast

I think I stole that :)

And He's Playing With My Arse

Personal Cheeses

Cheese Scone

Sex & Drugs & Roquefort - Ian Dury
Whey Ya! - Outkast
Difficult To Curd - Rainbow
Edam And Eve - Bob Marley
You're Gorgonzola - Babybird

[Port Salut You !]