to kneel before his bishopric.

Government ministers are difficult too. If you're introducing them its "the right honourable Jim Hacker, secretary of state for administrative affairs" but after that it's 'Minister'. I think.

Is the answer, as any fule know

I went to school at a time when we were taught these things. Kids of today etc etc... :-)

It is Your Excellency.

But why call him that if you are (or may be) an atheist who doesn't think being a bishop is at all excellent.

I would think 'Oh, 'allo!' should suffice.

I was taught long ago that if you were ever unsure of how to address somebody, then a simple "Sir" (or "Ma'am") was a pretty safe fall-back position.

vicar, should suffice

military vicars are known as Padres.

Known to all as "Bish"

(or "Sin bosun" behind his back)

was when hitch hiking from Plymouth to Exeter in student days. A nice chap responded to my optimistic thumb at the Marsh Mills roundabout on the A38, and after saying thanks for the lift, the conversation drifted along various random paths as we sped up the road towards the county town. Only when we'd travelled a fair few miles did he ask me what I did. On reporting that I was indeed, as I think he'd worked out, an impecunious undergraduate, I returned with the question, "What do you do?". "I'm a bishop.", came the reply. I think it's fair to say that I was stumped.

Depends if it's the bishop on a train ...

One cool

One decidedly not cool

[This one should not be addressed at all, merely squashed with a giant cherub's foot]

how *else* do you pronounce illuminate?

...tells me it's "Lord Bishop" until he tells you otherwise, which he will ("Please. Call me Marcus.")

That's if we're talking Anglican. If it's one of these papists I've been hearing about, all bets are off.

Your Grace is cardinals. Your Excellency is ambassadors.

In my experience, the priest will adopt a sing-song, pious sounding voice when they are "performing" at a mass. This ushers in the notion of the unnecessary elongation of words. It is a tone of voice very close to singing but remains a monotone that, thankfully, is very easy to tune out.

At some point in the seminary training, the priest promises to praise Him by "singing unending hymns of praise", so that's why they do that. It also makes their voice stand out a bit if there's general chatter in the pews, which is common in many countries.

Most priests revert back to their proper voices after mass. Like Kate Bush. She wouldn't screech at you at the butter counter at Tesco would she? However, some priests cling on to the "stage" voice and they can't help it using it all the time. Like Keith Richards.

As with the illuminate example, "christ" often becomes "ker-rysht" and "sacrifice" becomes "sah-carr-if-ishe". Like Liam Gallagher.

So the men of the cloth that talk in that way...they mean it, man. They live it 24/7. That's why the guy referred to in the OP is a Bishop. It's not a day job to someone like that.

Whenever I've been told that you're supposed to address people with a certain title, it's always ended up being a bit unwieldy actually using it. I wouldn't ever say things like "hello sir", simply "hello". I don't think I've used anyone's title since leaving school.

As far as a religious leader is concerned, surely they wouldn't expect any kind of deference from anybody outside their chosen denomination.

And it is customary to address a Bishop in conversation as "Bishop" (their name).

If you are on familiar terms with the Bishop though you may address them as "Father" (their name).

I should add that in the latter case, the Bishop I work for should be addressed as "Mother".

Nice touch.

something that Frank keeps saying in Blue Velvet?

Hugh Dennis's father was the Bishop of Ipswich and I remember him saying in an interview a few years ago that the thing you always have to bear in mind if you meet a bishop is that the chances are he's wearing pink underpants. They wear purple vestments that tend to run in the wash.

Archdeacon is, I believe, the title. He's a lovely bloke of the right-footed persuasion. We were discussing the various terms of address and he said that, in the Anglican church, they really don't care much about the official titles. So much of it dates from the social heirarchies of the Victorian time when members of the clergy were all absolutely loaded and everyone toadied like mad.

I still call him Archdeacon (his surname) to his face because it is the correct term of address. And I know it annoys him, but, secretly, he likes it.

The former Bishop of Lewes was presumably, at some earlier point in his career, Canon Ball.

Mr. Bishop?

...bash the Bishop