of two halves.

Managers look to spend their "transfer war chest". Quite often on a "want-away midfield general" that has issued a "'come and get me' plea".

... a controversial winner for Manchester United.

I have been that soldier - Woking FC fan who fondly remembers when the Baggies slipped on their own banana skin and gave 'tiny Woking' a chance to go to 'mighty Everton'. We lost 1-0 and Timmy Buzaglo hit the post in the last minutes. I think by that stage we were also 'plucky Woking.' 'Appy days.

as said player breaks the leg of the fancy-dan winger

Clive cocking Tylesdley is involved and one team is lording it by passing the ball around a bit, he will undoubtedly pipe up "This is olé football"
I hate no man more than I hate Clive Tylesdley.

Ronnie Radford, jumpers for goalposts, home for tea, cracking shot, young upstarts, crying for mummy after grazing your knee. Football. Mmm isn't it.

applied to any side visiting a so called 'top team'

image shown "is what the cup's all about".

'young' to anything to do with Arsenal, even when they get thrashed by younger teams themselves....kids...future...potential...kids...promise...kids...potential....

(applicable for the last decade and counting)

Eh?????

because he hit it too well. Er no.

"He's put in a good shift"

"Not content to come here and make up the numbers"

"His grandfather from New Zealand has flown over specially and is up in the stand"

"Was actually on Everton's books as a teenager...so he'd love to prove a point."

hit it with his left peg, and bearing in mind that's his swinger the keeper did well to make himself big.

"Believe it or not he's a plumber/banker/taxi driver in the week" when faced with a non- or semi-pro team.

I do believe it. It seems obvious to me that someone who doesn't earn a living at football has to earn it doing something else.

concentrate on league/avoiding relegation/chase for promotion

something something

it was a goal/pen/offside/foul...

engine.

player with a good engine.

1 tall + 1 short = a good combination. As tall footballers basically get stuck in and win headers and short footballers are tricky.

meaning he's crap where ever you play him. (see also "can play in any position.")

A great servant to the club. (see above, meaning nobody will buy him.)

He pulled the trigger too soon / too late
That was on his wrong foot
It's end to end stuff
They need to play the ball more down the left/right/central channel
He's asked the ref a question there
It's in free kick range
Great feet
The form book has gone out the window
What this game really needs is a goal
The big man is up for the corner
Offside?? Do me a favour ....

know the rules?

He'll be back at his job in marketing tomorrow.

to take cover when I read about clubs "launching bids" for players. It's a disaster when any of the top clubs lose two consecutive games - no it flaming well isn't - bloody samba football anytime Brazil play (not true since about '82) plus I'm pretty sure "it's a big ask" made its debut in a Sky football studio. Just about anything said by John Motty Motson during commentary.

to say "Great shot from Ashley Cole!"?

Well that certainly looked a pelanty to me!

will Sheffield United be "too big to go down?" like Newcastle were from the Premier League in 2009. And then there are other clubs, such as Nottingham Forest, who, in the past, have been "too good to go down".

And as a Norwich fan, should we get to appear at Wembley on May 30 it won't be the play-off final, dear me no, it'll be "the £50m, £90m or 'pluck any figure you like out of the air' game".

Normally happens after Big Dave the hairy pipe-fitter and sometime centre-half from Cleckheaton has booted Carlos Francisco the arseless snake-hipped greasy ponce winger from Madrid into row M following a couple of stepovers and a nutmegging of a hapless fullback.

Yeah sure, better not to score at all than to score too early.

- The Big Number 9 (as opposed to 'the rarely played Number 26')
- David versus Goliath

In preparation for tommorrows potential banana skin/tough match for the big boys: Urzzzzzzzzzz

... as if he had two left feet to choose from. Actually...

"He was unlucky there." Er, no, he just didn't direct his shot quite well enough, see the difference? Unlucky is when a dog runs onto the pitch and deflects your goal-bound shot post the post. Or bites your bollocks off.

The only two things that have ever languished are imprisoned fictional characters such as the Count of Monte Cristo, and teams in the lower reaches of football. ie " Sheffield Wednesday, once members of the premier league, now languishing in the second division'

if they are a "sleeping giant".

"Tremendous spirit at the football club"
"My players showed great quality"

Every interview, every single one, without fail...

didn't deserve to lose...or......."It was never a 3-0"

Yes it feckin was 3-0, and you always get what you deserve.

Away to Everton? That's a big ask.

But like I said, the lads will need to set out their stall early doors. Get in their faces, let them know they're in a game. But it's not just about parking the bus. We've got to ask them some questions as well. We've got quality going forward and, at the end of the day, you don't want to leave anything behind on that pitch. It's a cup-tie, so the form book goes out the window.

We really need to concentrate on the league...

...and fuck me/them we didn't realise it wasn't a market.

Means in my experience a Centre Forward who cannot shoot / rarely scores

The overuse of 'a little bit' - Andy Townsend, blandness personified, is keen on this : 'He was a little bit devastated'

Ron Atkinson coined a new one last year on Radio WM : 'Stand on me'. Really. Meant to be used as 'mark my words' would, presumably. He also likes 'tragical'.

Sleeping Giant

the Bus.......as opposed to Park the midfielder.

if it was all like this....shorts don't matter.

• Clinical finishing
• Cynical tackling

won in extra time

I want on my bingo card:

"There's no doubt about that" as in "Liverpool have probably been the better team by and large - there's no doubt about that."

I'm detecting a smug feeling around the place that our next game in the cup is against the winners of the Citeh/Villa game.

If I was a Reading fan I'd be feeling quietly confident about tonight.

THEIR Wembley. Just go out and enjoy yourselves.

31 years of winning nish, continous flirtation with relgation and some of the most mind numbling awful football ever served up.

ie. They're absolute pushovers and they're going down with a points haul that wouldn't get them a driving ban, but they pass it about a bit.

Portsmouth.

but I have to rant somewhere...

Is Ray Wilkins the worse football pundit ever???!!! I was watching the Man U game last night and he was absolutely appalling, the dullest most inane waffle - and when he kept referring to "Giggsy" during the commentary I was going spare!

OK I feel better now.