I’ve been on a minor crime spree lately (literary, of course) and discovered that my horizons are a bit limited – almost all classic, pre-war detective stories. Based on my research however, the top fictional detectives are:

Sherlock Holmes – Of course. The stories aren’t always great (the early novels particularly), but Conan Doyle was making up the genre as he went along. BBC radio adaptations with Clive Merrison are rather brilliant.

Lord Peter Whimsey – Amazingly dated, but the ultimate Gentleman Detective. Almost makes you like toffs.

Nero Wolfe – Big fat American genius; his side-kick Archie Goodwin is fabulous. See also excellent A&E TV series from a few years back.

Miss Marple – Better than Poirot, but I wouldn’t want her moving next door.

A inadequate list, I confess. So who should I be looking into? And what makes a good fictional detective? I’m a little turned off by procedurals featuring the damaged loner stereotype, but I can’t believe that’s all there is (and I confess I haven’t looked all that hard). Over to the more enlightened, and I’ll brace my credit card…

Sorry if this has been posted before, but let's fill ourselves with Christmas cheer.

Mary Jo Fisher is an Australian Senator. A while back she was arrested for stealing groceries from a supermarket and taking a swipe at the security guard that tried to stop her. A notable character, if you will.

Earlier this year she gave a speech in the Senate that was one of the weirdest, gripping and flat-out crazy performances you’ll ever see. She’s serious. And it’s in Hansard. Ladies and Gentlemen, a leader of our nation:

Inspired, I confess, by another website.

Inspired (loosely) by the “That Didn’t Happen’ thread, I’ve been considering what the reaction to various past events might have been had the web been in full flight, including the inevitable responses from spin doctors, PRs and anyone who hits the “comments” button on a newspaper website. To wit:

1962: Pete Best is kicked out The Beatles. In the comments of Petebestrules.co.uk: “Bongo who? Pete is the real musician in the band and will go on to bigger and greater things. Those traitorous Beatles are nothing without him.”

1876: Alexander Graham Bell invents the telephone. “It’s not bad, but wait for next year’s model.”

1968: Terry Reid knocks back the singer's job in Led Zeppelin. On his PR’s site is written, “Terry thought it might be interesting, but he’s commited to a support slot that he thinks will be a big thing for him. He wishes Jimmy Page and his group all the best.”

1865: Abraham Lincoln is assassinated.
“… which is why Sarah Palin should be President.”

Please improve on my poor efforts.

From www.dearphotograph.com, a simple but lovely concept. Find an old photo, go to where it was taken, and... you get the idea.

The text on the original site is a little corny in places, but for the most part genuinely sweet. I'd put one of my own up, but I lost almost all my photos in a move a few years ago, and very few of them were landscape specific. But no doubt others in the Massive can improve on the original. I know a good idea when I'm stealing it...

Sigh, Monday morning again.
In a state of Local Government ennui, I’ve realised that the ritual upon sitting at my desk and switching on the telescreen each morning is without much variation, being:

Check e-mail.
Start at the work intranet homepage (because I have to).
Melbourne newspaper: theage.com.au.
See what the Word Massive has been up to overnight (this frequently lasts much of the day).
Check a couple of comic strips (Doonesbury and Calvin & Hobbes).
Ebay, if I’m watching or bidding on something.

And then fluff around the web from there and after a bit, perhaps, get on with some work.

Am I the only one with a set web routine? (I hope not.) And are there any other sites that the Massive might recommend to get the day started?

I've had a rather ugly day at work and needing to hold somebody responsible, I've decided society is to blame.

In order to work out what went wrong, I wish to note the major signposts that mark the decline of Western Civilisation. So far I've come up with:

*Men stopped wearing hats
*Supermodels started giving press conferences
*Jeffery Archer being taken seriously
*Maroon 5
*Corporate CEOs and their ilk employing publicists
*Publicists
*Roger Moore becoming James Bond

An inadequate list, to be sure. Any additions?