Let's face it, the X factor was never much cop. However, after delving briefly into Saturday's show it seemed to have sunk to a new low. The introduction of a happy-clappy audience; over-emphasis on the 'freaks' (some of whom were being recycled from previous years for hilarious comic effect); and the predictable face-pulling of the judges all seemed to be very contrived and even dated.
It almost made me long for the sincerity of Hughie Green. (I said almost!)
I realize it is only light entertainment and not to be taken at all seriously but surely there must be more to Saturday evening telly than this load of tripe!

Today I passed a group of youths skulking along in their track-suit bottoms, hooded tops and best baseball hats. As there was no gym in the vicinity I assume that they were simply 'out on the town'; 'heading off to the disco'; or whatever young people do these days.
This set me thinking about youthful fashions of the past. Teddy-boys (smart, expensive Edwardian suits and the rest), Skinheads (jeans with razor-sharp creases, Ben Sherman shirts, 'Doc's' etc); Mods (a very wallet-draining look) and so on.
Basically, was there ever a look so drab, unprepossessing and uninspired as the present day 'tracky' look? Or am I missing something? Is it post-modern or iconic in some way? Maybe those outfits do actually cost more than a fiver in total.
I look forward to a healthy and informed deabte!

Suddenly 'I'm Good' seems to be the automatic response when someone is asked how they are doing. I am always tempted to respond by saying that I wasn't really interested in where they placed themselves on some personal moral spectrum but instead I just wince. Am I alone? What else is similarly annoying?

Hardly a day goes by without some publication or other announcing that Jordan/Peter has 'broken her/his silence' (usually for the fourth time that week and it is only Tuesday). On local news (BBC Look North for example) we are frequently told about 'youngsters' who have been 'put through their paces' and a plucky, local girl who has been 'beating the boys at their own game'.
Which media phrases get your goat? Which ones need to be finally laid to rest in a sealed box? I am sure all you 'leggy lovelies', 'live-in-lovers' and 'pals' out there in Wordland can compile a lengthy list for incineration. Just be sure to 'maintain your composure' whilst on the field of play.

was 'the kid himself'. His TV mother (Molly Sugden) died recently. He was 'all there with his cough drops' and his radio show attracted 13 million listeners at its peak. He was very small and died on the day of his mother's funeral. What was it all about?

You know how it is in films - a guy can park in a major city right outside the building he wants to enter and that sort of thing. But surely one of the greatest myths is that of the Hollywood knockout. In real life if a bloke is concussed it can leave lasting damage (tremors, speech deterioration etc). Any boxer who is KOd has to undergo medical tests. It is a serious business. But in films it is simple - a blow on the head is followed by a short snooze and then it is as if nothing happened. I have seen countless scenes where this kind of baloney occurs. What else in Hollywood (or films generally) is similarly at odds with reality?

Have any Word readers come up with their own original retort on hearing something tedious? Or have any singlehandedly tried to revive a saying from the dim and (inevitably) distant past? I myself often say 'I can wait' when told of some remarkably uninspiring forthcoming event. I have also lifted a phrase from a 'Just William' story, 'Ho Yuss' which can be used to remarkably good effect, if timed right.
e.g. 'Those bankers work very hard for their bonuses you know.'
'HO YUSS!'
Share your own minor triumphs with the Word world!

William Zantzinger died recently. He was immortalized in the song 'The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll' as the wealthy killer who got a mere 6 months for killing the black maid. Perhaps it was the sight of Barack O. taking office which helped to see him off. Few, I suspect, will mourn his passing. Are there any other characters central to a song who will be (or have been) missed by so few when they finally exit this world or is he a one-off?

OK, so it is easy to name and shame the crap ones. They are to be found everywhere, plying their trade with undimmed enthusiasm and, generally speaking, deeply in love with their own well-honed personalities.
So, what makes a good DJ and where are they to be found? For starters we could quibble over what exactly is a DJ. Mike Harding for example, presents a very listenable folk music programme on Radio 2. His enthusiam and in-depth knowledge of his subject make him always interesting. He is on the radio. He plays music. Therefore we can assume him to be a DJ. He'll do for starters. Next!

You know the deal - sometimes a song will grab your attention because the opening lines just make you want to know more and so you keep on listening. So which are the contenders in this category? Which song made you stop whatever you were doing and stay glued to the radio until the end? Which one changed your life? Which one do you recite whenever the opportunity arises?
Personally I like;
'Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street' (Joe Jackson) and
'William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll' (Bob Dylan)

On a recent X Factor Louis (boyband) Walsh criticized a contestant because he 'hadn't yet seen her dance'. Having just watched BBC4's Roy Orbison night and noting that the Big 'O' was disinclined to do little more than discreetly tap his left foot whilst on stage I was left assuming that he wouldn't have seen the light of day in the present climate, given that he was not entirely marketable (unprepossessing physique, short-sighted, puffy-cheeked etc) according to the exacting standards now imposed by the 'elders' who control such things. Instead we get the likes of Britney Spears who seems unable to sing at all but can prance around a bit, miming with few clothes on - so that's all right then.
Which other musical legends would have failed the X test? Applications below stating the reasons why!

Everyone recalls the tedium cloaked in pomposity that was the 'hairy cornflake' (ho ho ho). And who could ever forget Tony 'fun fun fun' Blackburn and his dog 'Arnold' (actually just one solitary sound effect tape repeated ad infinitum so no expense incurred there!). But who was the absolute worst ever? There have been many candidates over the years. I'll start the ball rolling by naming a squawking, bleating fellow who used to come on Radio 1 on Saturday afternoons and who was , I would vouchsafe, completely unlistenable. His name, as I recall, was Adrian Juste; he played a lot of comedy extracts and came across as a sort of bargain basement Kenny Everett. Any offers?

... it was a complete stinker? You know the score. you buy a respected monthly magazine which probably gives stars and so, after reading a review which just stops short of demanding immediate cannonisation of artiste(s) concerned you put it on your 'must have' list. You finally get it, listen once, twice, maybe even thrice and then never bother again for several years. As evidence for the prosecution I cite Daniel Lanois' 'For The Beauty Of Wynona'. It must be good since he worked with loads of people etc...nah, 'tis cack I'm afraid.

Is it just me or does Carol Thatcher now bear a striking resemblance to Sir Jimmy Saville? She often crops up on 'The One Show' speaking in a very peculiar voice and managing to make every item she presents as turgid as, well, a very, very, turgid thing indeed.
And, on a related topic, how exactly did she get that gig? Natural talent combined with beauty, experience and intellect you may well respond but, could there be another reason to do with......?
Are there any others on telly who seem to have washed up there by way of being well-connected? I think I know the answer but go on anyway - let's name a few names!

I went to see Chris Isaak in concert in 2007. An excellent performance in every way. However there was a point when Chris jumped off stage and did a bit of mingling with his audience. I was surprised to note that he was no more than 5' 10" at the absolute most when his website and just about every profile describe him as 6' 1". Now I can understand an odd inch or so but adding an extra three inches seems to be pushing it a bit. I wonder if anyone else has met a star close up and discovered that they have been exaggerating their physical attributes or, indeed, disguising their shortcomings, as it were. There is arguably too much of this sort of thing!