I know to some people this is the happiest song ever made, but I think if I ever hear this Katrina & The Waves hit again it will be too soon. I never liked it. It's become a wedding disco/Chris Evans drivetime staple and has run it course.

It's never off the radio and soundtracks TV more often than not. It's even featured the first episode of the new series of Ashes To Ashes, which is set in 1983, two years before the song was released. As if there wasn't anything else from 1983 to choose from. What's wrong with Tantalise by Jimmy Hoover??

What songs you've heard a million times want to make you slit your own throat?

I see Piers Morgan is doing one of his interviews with Simon Cowell. And it's gonig to last an hour-and-a-half!

It's too, too much. It's not like there are going to be any interesting revalations. Morgan may think he's some grand inquisitor and the fearless heir to early Parky, but he's as hard-hitting as Ben Shephard, and someone who's as famous as those he's interrogating. It'll be bland PR- controlled claptrap of the highest order.

I'm sick of Simon Cowell. I'm sick of Piers Morgan. I'm sick of Cheryl Cole. She's asking for her privacy now she's dumped Ashley. Alright, love, go home and don't come out for six months. But she won't of course.

I'm sick of Jordan and Alex, Peter Andre, Amanda Holden, JLS, Chris Evans. Everyone.

Help me, I'm going crazy with all this celeb shit. What about you?

Pete Waterman is the mastermind behind this year's Eurovision entry. If he wins we'll say who better to have been in charge than the king of manufactured pop. If he loses, we'll say we don't care because we were just being ironic and anyway, we don't take it seriously.

Not that I over-care about this, but instead of trying to change it into something we think we SHOULD win by using Andrew Lloyd-Webber and Pete Waterman, etc., shouldn't we look to Europe to see what they like and go with that to give us a better chance of winning?

So make it either a Euro-friendly ballad about love and peace or a retro Europop confection that we'll all be singing along to?

And let's remember the unserious camp approach does not work. The over-serious approach is a mistake as well. Finland's hard rock win was surely an abberation.

Do we care more than we think? And what's your favourite Eurovision winner/entry?

Do you have one? If so, what have you got? I've had a couple of itrips (I won't be doing that again), but they either didn't pick up the frequency to play the ipod through or only came out of one speaker. So I gave up and went back to CDs. But it's a terrible waste - that ipod bulging with music crying out to be heard...

My brother-in-law has a rather smart Belkin one but I think my ashtray's at a funny angle so that's no good for me.

Any recommendations? Thanks in advance.

Let's celebrate the excellence of London bands because, let's face it, there's an awful lot to be thankful for.

I'll start

More or less the words of Ricky Gervais. He's reached that 'no one appreciates me in Britain' stage of his career and says 'America gets me'. In translation, that's 'Up yours you unsophisticated hicks, I've outgrown you'.

It seems what's really happend is he's taken umbrage because he got some bad or indifferent reviews and can't understand why everyone's not hanging off his every word anymore. He's made a couple of substandard films and his stand-up is all about how famous he is. And he still treads a very fine line between pushing the envelope and being plain insulting.

Perhaps he's right; he is no longer appreciated here, perhaps because he's a tiresome bore who's drunk on his own success.

Then again, a lot of people still think he's the funniest man who ever lived. So should we beg him to reconsider and ignore the naysayers?

Or should we say sod off you smug git and don't come back?

I know where I sit. The more interviews I read with him, the less I like him.

What about you?

It's Dappy from Ndubz. No, I've never heard their music either.

He spits at women and sends death threats to mums who say they don't like him on the Chris Moyles Show. He speaks in that silly patois and wears a stupid hat.

Surely there's no bigger tit in the charts?

I heard Dawn by Flintlock on the radio the other day. Remember them?

If you crash landed in Britain sometime between 1975 and 1978 and took a look at music magazines or music TV, you'd think Flintlock were the biggest band in the world. They were on everything, from Look-in to Pauline's Quirkes, from the Tomorrow People to Here and Now, they were the very definition of ubiquitous.

But they had this one very minor Top 40 hit, despite releasing loads of singles.

Was it because they simply weren't very good? With exposure like that these days they'd be cluttering up the charts, but why not back then?

A friend said to me that because they were on mainly ITV shows, Radio 1 wouldn't play them. Perhaps that's true.

Did anyone here actually buy any of their records?

Did anyone hear this today? I heard a large chunk on my way into work. It was bearable, but I can see those TOGs switching off in droves but being replaced by a whole new audience.

Evans has his fans, but I'm not sure his brand of hysteria is right for Terry's old geezers. While he's an accomplished broadcaster he's got a tendency to get a bit carried away and may be rather too shrill for mornings.

And while we're at it, is Moira Stewart really such a big deal? The way her return to the BBC been trumpeted is notable for one reason only: she's a mature woman. That's good, but she's not exactly Miss Personality, is she? Chris says she can be 'naughty' and has a wicked sense of humour, but ever since Angela Rippon surprised the nation by getting her legs out on Morecame and Wise newsreaders have been showing their game side. It's nothing new. If Huw Edwards dressed up as Lady Gaga I doubt even more than a handful of eyebrows would be raised.

Still, it's only day one, so let's see how things develop. I like Chris Evans and I wish him well, but he's got a huge weight of expectation on his shoulders.

I bet half those comedy features disappear within the month.

Does anyone else find the use of Henry Winkler as the new face of a dyslexia campaign aimed at children rather a strange choice?

Does Ed Balls think kids will actually know who he is? A couple of hundred may have seen him in panto this Christmas but outside of that, when was the last time Happy Days was even on? It finished production almost 30 years ago for God's sake. It's like getting Jimmy Durante to be the Green Cross Man.

While it's of course admirable that Winkler is giving up his time to front the initiative, surely it's only the parents who will have heard of him. If was 1977 then he'd be the number one choice. But it's not.

Perhaps it's aimed at parents, but then what child is interested in what their parents think? Couldn't they have persuaded Take That?

Why is it that the US crooners are considered impossibly cool and still sell by the bucketload today, while British singers with voices that are also fantastic are considered naff (Tom Jones being the exception, though he's a bit of a tit now, isn't he) and more or less totally ignored?

Are they too homespun? Are they bracketed with Val Doonican and Ken Dodd? Are they too light entertainment? The fact that your mum might like them doesn't count because mums love Sinatra. It must be the lack of glamour.

Shame, cos Ken Dodd's Tears is a classic. But of course he was nothing to look at.

I know I've probably answered my own question, but I'd really like to know.

We had enough trouble with the Noughties, but that seems to have stuck. I read in an American magazine that the general consensus over there is that the years 2000 to 2009 are officially known as the Aughts, which is archaic and clumsy and anyway, who made that decision?

So if we've settled on the Noughties, what is this decade to be called? I don't think I've heard anyone mention anything.

The Teens? The Tens? What did they call the years 1910 to 1919? The war years?

Help!

And happy New Year to all.

I read a funny piece in which the producer of Top Gear said it's nearly at an end because it's no longer the programme it once was.

The presenters have become caricatures of themselves, the show is scripted and predictable and they no longer come across as just a gang of mates having fun.

Personally I'm not a fan and could have told them that, though it does have it's moments.

But what do you think? Time to axe it before it loses its way entirely? It still pulls in the viewers - five million for BBC2 is not to be sniffed at - but perhaps it's better to bow out gracefully.

There are plenty of other things showing signs of age too: Spooks is getting a bit creaky this series, Strictly has suffered due to scheduling conflicts and The Restaurant's farcical finale means that it probably won't be back.

Anything else we could put out of its misery?

I don't know about you, but this is something I really object to.

This is a designed to make the instigator feel good about themselves and nothing else.

Thing is, I might not want to give to the charity they've earmarked. As we all know, charities are not simply a well of good works - they can be extremely political and should be chosen wisely. So I choose the charities I want to give to. I don't want anyone else choosing on my behalf.

Or am I being hugely churlish?

Well, you decide.

Having watched that Imagine programme the other day about Shirley Bassey recording her new album, it's clear no one does Bond like she does. She'd be great. Richard Hawley could make a decent fist of it too.

But who else singing today could cut it like the Dame? Then again perhaps they should take an entirely new direction, though that Madonna one was execrable.

While we're at it, what's your favourite Bond theme - and your least favourite?