So, apparently the Euro is in meltdown and we've only got 10 days before the cash machines shut down: however, I've just paid in 12K into my bank account, courtesy of a popular high street bank who fucking robbed me blind (PPI) in the 80's/90's. I aim to draw the whole lot out in cash and put it under me bed before the euro darkness falls: a 4K tax bill to be paid, me wife's tax etc, However, I do demand a treat: £360 for Bowie's 'Speed of Life' book from Genesis seems me a good deal. I have 'Moonage Daydream' which has tripled in value since I bought it, although I never bought it for that reason, I just lurv Bowie. What would you spend £360 nicker on?

Can anyone tell me what what was the song that played out the credits to "Living in the material world?" GH obviously but when I tried to scan the credits at the end it looked like "long long long" which I can't find. Sorry but all I've got of George's stuff are his singles. Cheers

OK, so today I went up to Waltham Cross to attend my weekly "clinic" for the chronically unemployed at a firm called "Seetec" very caring etc. Upon leaving said place I was chewing some gum which had gone stale, and not wishing to throw it on the pavement, I deposited it in the nearest bin. Then I lit a cigarette which I smoked then stamped out on the pavement. All of a sudden there's 3 coppers around me wearing bullet proof jackets (and poppies) asking me what the fuck I'm doing, and declaring I'd committed an offence. Seems I'd breached a zero tolerance law by Broxbourne Council of dropping litter, i.e. fag. I offered to pick the fag up and put it in the bin, but was told, "It's too late for that" Then I was asked for my name and address. It crossed my mind briefly to give a false address but I'm glad I was honest, for the officers cross checked my postcode via phone to their network database. Then I was asked, "WHY did it not cross your mind to put the fag in the bin?" to which I could only reply, "I wasn't thinking ossifer'. By this time a small crowd was gathering, obviously by the look on their faces I was guilty of something or other. Result? Fined 75 notes, 50 if I pay within 10 days. There's no real point to this entry: just thought I'd tell you. It annoyed the hell out of me at the time. Now I'm laughing (albeit grimly)

Here we go again, it's that time of year.. everyone and his dog wearing poppies. It reminds me of the Hancock sketch where he demands a badge for giving blood, with the inscription "He gave to others, so that others may live!" Don't get me wrong, we should remember the poor bastards who stumbled to their death on other people's orders, my Great-Grandad and Grandad among them: the former blown to fuck on the first day of the Somme. Couldn't be buried 'cause they couldn't find a piece of him. It's just this BBC / ITV thing that EVERYONE is ordered to wear a poppy. Does any other country do this? Does it honour the dead? Or is it a remit from the TV stations?
"I am the enemy you killed, my friend."

I just read this in the Standard: ONE LEGGED BUS DRIVER LOSES OTHER LEG IN CRASH...AS HE WAITS FOR A BUS. Got me thinking, what bitterly ironic headlines concerned with music can you think of?

DAVID HEPWORTH STRUCK DUMB WHEN ROCK MUSIC DICTIONARY FALLS ON HEAD
sorry David

SPORTY SPICE LAME AFTER 100 METRE RUN AND HAS RUNS AFTER GLASGOW CURRY

Yeah OK they're shite but I bet you lot can come up with some belters

Put the case,
that you, or a friend of yours, or a complete stranger, who has been unemployed for two and a half whole years (not me), after being in full employment for the best part of 25 years previously, in what would be deemed to be a 'specialist' job: gets an offer.

Put the case,
that a friend from college 25 years ago, and has made good in the field you used to work in, offers you a job for 2 weeks at £150.00 a day, for 2 weeks, cash in hand, no questions asked. Anyway, it's not going to happen.

Put the case.
Do you declare it?
Or say nothing and pay the rent for two months?

Just watched the documentary on BBC1. I love a self-destructive alcoholic drug-addicted rock star as much as the next person, but at the end of the day what did this guy actually do? He made 2 records that I've heard: 'Everybody's talkin' and the worst, mawkish record of all time, which, to this day I can't listen to without wanting to puke, 'Without you' So what if he was mates with Lennon? They were both out of it, and I suspect Lennon wanted someone who would get pissed and not have any come back from it. Even Yoko seems to like him. So. to my point; can anyone in the whole wide world recommend a Harry Nilsson song that's any good? His version of 'Many rivers to cross" is pure shit (produced by Lennon, natch), there's another one where he's mimicking a Jamaican accent singing "put some lime in de coconut" or some such nonsense which was declared genius by some LA producer. I can't be arsed to trawl through iTunes. Jesus Christ, even arch-drunk Shane McGowan wrote a few good tunes. P.S. He (HN) looks like Guy Garvey in a few shots.
P.S. I know he had a good voice, on 2 records; not enough, Don't bring Sinatra into this.
Love and peace x

This has got to be the best yet. I don't normally watch it but 'SO LUCKY' (Moldova} had strains of the Pet Shop Boys and Devo, 'I WILL be popular' (Sweden) was insane, and Witloof Boy! (Belgium), crossover Manhattan Transfer was appalling, but strangely compelling, and the best name EVER came up; Dino Merlin. Go Euro! And top marks to Scott Mills and Sarah Cox.
Saw his docco on Uganda just before this, excellent. I feel strangely good. And no, I'm not drunk.

I've nothing against Hugh Laurie, indeed I think him a decent chap. However, is he qualified to sing the blues, the white middle class Oxbridge twit that he is? See Graeme Norton tonight. Apparently his album has a record amount of pre-orders. You can namecheck the Stones/Zep and any other stoners from the 60's/70's that you like. I think a famous person in a suit singing songs of deprivation and despair from times gone by is patronising in the extreme. Twat. (I changed my mind)

Contrary to most media opinion I found George M's version of New Order's song to be quite moving; by slowing the song down I heard the melancholy lyrics for the first time, and George himself seems to be a lad eager to take the piss out of himself. This is not an 'ironic' post, I really mean it. Now shoot me down in flames.

After my mid-morning breakfast of a glass of red and three tabs, I was listening to 5 live with Dr. Hillary Jones and various pundits discussing how to prepare for this 'life changing' event. I couldn't help but wish death and destruction on every man-jack who takes part in this wankathon.

Can't help but find James Blunt a creepy cunt, and his successful song 'You're beautiful' with the line 'My life is brilliant' just as creepy and sad as you'd ever hope to hear, but I really like it, and despite myself, liking him. Is it a 'creepy' song? or just a love song? Or is it just how you find it? Is it 'Every breath you take' or 'Creep?' and which 'love songs' are downright creepy? (Valentine's day copyright)

This was truly the most depressing modern documentary I've ever seen. I'm glad I'm going out of the world instead of coming into it.

"Drugs are a debasing weapon. It was the greatest college ever, but the most expensive school fee ever paid – the Cocaine High School. I learned everything, and now I've put it on the side." Another great man bites the dust

In the current economic climate, could I suggest Word bloggers save electricity and cyberspace by posting 2 blogs of inane nonsense at once? This will surely save billions of megabytes and get this country back to where it belongs. I'll start the ball rolling:

1: The taking of Prince Harry.(C4 tonight) A laughable, utterly shite programme that ultimately mocked the death of that poor aid worker girl Judith who was killed when an American chucked a grenade when he shouldn't have. "Experts" on the show declared, "We would put all of our powers into action if Prince Harry was captured by the Taliban." No shit. What a waste of money. The geezer didn't even look like the ginger twat.

2: What tempo should you live your life?
A mate of mine in 1981 suggested that you should try to live your life to the tempo of The Blue Danube, so as to live longer. I thought this to be genius at the time. However as we all know, external events conspire to fuck that right up. What tempo is ideal for you, but what tempo are you living your life to now? Mine in the 90's was Carcass, but now it's a Shostakovich Adagio since I got laid off a year ago. And I make his symphonies look like Charlie fuckin' Carolie (sic)